So many of us have been taught to believe we are not good enough. For some, the emotion of fear may have been triggered early on and quite possibly even in utero. The limbic brain is wired to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. Anything that causes a growing fetus to experience a threat to harmony and peace will be registered as pain. Humans are being downloaded long before we are able to walk. Unfortunately, because so many people do not appreciate the experiences of children as valid; believing that what children cannot remember doesn't count, we are a world of wounded adults who are stuck in states of fight or flight who may not even realize it.

Compounding societal ignorance is the fact that ALL human beings are born asleep. We are not born aware. We are born with brainwave states that equal the dream state of consciousness. We do not have the ability to think critically as children. All that happens to us in our outer world becomes downloaded into our growing and impressionable...

On the road to recovery, many of us undoubtedly end up asking ourselves, "What's this all about anyway? Why the hell have I been born? Why the heck is there so much human suffering? I mean, what's the point of being born?"

As I began to become more aware of what was really happening in my life and I understood that for many years I was simply asleep, I found myself recycling back to the question, "Why are we all here?" It seemed the more conscious I became the more deeply I needed to understand the divine purpose for human creation at it's core.

Eventually I came to understand that human life is about evolution, but not the kind of evolution that includes growing an extra finger to help us be able to type more quickly on our laptops or smart phones. I am talking about the evolution of consciousness that includes a human beings ability to overcome their own human suffering that allows them to ascend to higher states of divinity while still having consciousness be embodied in the...

Donna Drake and Lisa A. Romano Live it Up Live 

 Enjoy this television interview with Donna Drake and Lisa A. Romano on Live it Up Live

https://youtu.be/16nMIADIdpE

For many on the spiritual path, it is just a matter of time before we happen upon the law of attraction. It seems inevitable for those of us who seek deep meaning to life, to eventually discover the desire to understand how the universe really works and what laws are at play. We wish to understand, so that we can better help ourselves create the most out of our life experiences while here in our physical bodies. On some logical level, we all understand that the day will come when each of us shall perish. Well, at least our physical bodies will perish. The innate, unique, divine, energetic, quantum aspect of our selves is immortal. If you are someone who is wishing to gain some understanding to the meaning of life, you may have already learned to accept your time on this planet is limited and if you are lucky enough to be a truth-seeker, within you is a drive to understand how you can absolutely make the most out of your physical life experience.

Truth-seekers are those amongst us...

For most of my life, I struggled with self-worth. I did not truly believe I was worthy of love, understanding, acceptance, kindness, or appreciation. In the back of my mind was a core belief that sounded something like, "Nobody really likes you or loves you. You're not good. You're not smart. You're not pretty. You're not funny. Why would anyone want to love you? It's your job to prove to others you are good enough and when they finally say that you are good enough, then maybe you will be. Until then, keep working at trying to be good enough." This unconscious pattern of thought kept me bound as well as broken, seeking the approval of others.

When we are codependent, it is like we are living under water. We aren't really living at all. It is as if we are outside the fish tank looking in, wondering when we will finally feel like we belong, or that we are good enough to belong. The illusion that we are not good enough is strong and innate, we never question the idea...

Anyone who has every been abused by a narcissist will tell you it is a maddening experience. First of all, narcissists can appear to be exactly what we have been looking for our entire lives. They can be charming, alluring, inquisitive, curious, gentle, kind, considerate, wise, capable, strong, independent, charismatic, and they can even appear to have empathy. Well, at least they can present with these wonderful characteristics when we first meet them. When you are dealing with a narcissist, you are dealing with a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type of a personality. They are wolves in sheep's clothing and just when you least expect it, their true agenda begins to surface.

Eventually, as a narcissist's true agenda begins to surface, you might be taken off guard by their sudden shift in demeanor, out of character insensitivity, passive aggressive comment, or blatant disregard for your feelings. Because they have spent so much time love bombing you and convincing you how truly amazed they...

When I walked into my therapy appointment for the first time, I was seriously doubting my sanity. At the same time I was also obsessing about the self-doubt I felt about being in therapy at all. I was ingrained to believe that self-care was a form of selfishness. It was only because I was so desperate I went at all. Migraines, rashes, hair loss, eczema, and severe asthma were all killing me slowly. I knew in my heart my unhappy marriage was a key to why I was falling apart and seeking therapy felt very much like my last hope.

Within the first hour of the session my therapist  diagnosed me with codependency.  I had no idea what codependency was, but I didn't care. I was just happy there was a name for what I was experiencing.  For years I felt like I was losing my mind and with a name for what I felt, I was feeling relieved to say the least.

My first assignment was to go and buy the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.  I didn't walk to the Barnes and Noble...

Setting Boundaries 

It is probably one of the most emotionally challenging things to do as a human being  Setting boundaries with those we love and care about can be difficult and anxiety provoking. So how do we know when we should set a boundary?

It is certainly a complicated question and it has helped me to develop a certain protocol around boundary setting. It is not failproof, but having some type of concrete plan has helped me feel less anxious when put in a difficult spot by someone I care about.

Boundaries Formula  

1) If someone is talking poorly about me and not to me, that is something I generally brush off unless this person is someone who claims to love, honor and respect me.  If I am spoken poorly about by someone who claims to care about me and our relationship, my general rule of thumb is to confront them personally.

It is always best to first ask the person if what we heard is true before we go assuming gossip is...

For those of us who grew up in dysfunctional homes, we may have not understood at the time that we were being brainwashed to think and feel the way our parents did.  When we were small, the soil that was our fertile, innocent, virgin subconscious minds were being downloaded with all sorts of weeds.  If our parents were racists, feared spending money, or spoke poorly about those in different religions, as adults we must begin to understand that childhood rearing is in fact indoctrination.  If your parents were well adjusted, balanced, fair, civil, kind, nurturing, empathetic, attuned, generous, accepting, understanding human beings, more than likely the indoctrination you experienced has benefited you.  But, what if, your parents weren't so kind? What if your parents treated you with indifference, were alcoholics, narcissists, emotionally abusive, passive aggressive, minimizing, condescending, or physically abusive? What kind of impact would that type of...