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Codependency sucks.

Codependency sucks.

When you are codependent you often tolerate aspects of relationships healthier people would not. You may people-please, react, coerce, enable, deny, enmesh, and violate boundaries. You may be clinging to a relationship rather than letting go because you fear being alone. Perhaps you find a sense of value in the taking care of others and doubt you are worthy of a truly healthy relationship.

When we are breaking free from codependency we are learning to be patient with our process of healing. Much of our recovery will rely on our ability to be humble and self-analyzing. As we learn to see things in ourselves we do not necessarily like, we may be tempted to run and hide. It takes great courage to look in the mirror and to acknowledge there is something about ourselves we must change.

Remember to be patient and kind with the self as you learn to understand why you may have developed codependency. Healing the wounded heart takes time and much dedication to personal...

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Use your emotions to guide you towards truths, relationships, and people that empower you

If humans could shutty-shutty, and just for 10 minutes a day, we could all live a more joyful life.

If we were all conditioned to PAUSE and reflect rather than feel the need to REACT to every emotion our brain noticed pass through our conscious field, we could all learn to have SUPER COMPUTERS for brains.

The reactive brain is a lizard brain and it DOES NOT have to be this way.

Emotions are indicators not facts.

Facts are facts and although how we feel is also a fact, we have the ability to think before we speak and to even CHANGE our emotions.

WHY would we want to change how we feel?

If I feel unworthy and the fact is my parents went out of their way to tear me down rather than build me up, my feelings around unworthiness are valid and they are REAL, but it is NOT a fact that I am unworthy.

Emotions need NOT be seen as things that are set in stone.

Yes, all emotions are valid and why we feel a certain way is valid too, but, the rational or the cause of why we feel the way we do may not be...

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Self care is one of the greatest keys to emotional health

Self care is one of the greatest keys to emotional health. The more you care for your teeth, the stronger your teeth will be. This seems like common sense, so why do so many of us naturally ignore the self?

We are a society of unconscious minds who have been programmed to gain bonds and form attachments to other unconscious others.

Many of us have been indoctrinated to worry more about others than ourselves prior to learning the most important lesson, which is to love the self.
Many of us have been raised by parents who saw us as extensions of themselves, like one might view a pair of designer shoes. We have been conditioned to make others look good and in the process, we have been psychologically cut off from our higher self.

Many of us are so damn angry, sad, or hurt, that we are blocked and unable to access the vault that is full of the heavy emotions we need to purge in order for our bodies to heal.

If any of this sounds like you, you’re not alone. We all have a difficult time...

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Often times clients ask me, "How can I change the narcissist in my life?"

Often times clients ask me, "How can I change the narcissist in my life?" Because I also teach about The Law of Attraction, it seems that clients sometimes get confused when it comes to blending narcissistic abuse recovery with the ideas that imply that if we can change the way we look at things, the things we look at will change. I totally understand that, which is why I felt the need to shed some light on this particular subject.

For the record, a true narcissist believes in the visions, perceptions, beliefs, desires, and needs they hold inside their mind. They generally tend to be fixated and immovable perceptions, that they are not willing to shift. In fact, they believe so strongly in the perceptions they hold of themselves and others, that penetrating their beliefs would be akin to a toddler trying to scale the Great Wall of China, barefoot, with a cinder block strapped to their back, in the dark, and surrounded by hungry wolves. What a narcissist believes matters.

What anyone...
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Adults who have not been taught to believe they are good enough, may not believe they are

Many adults suffer from low self esteem. In spite of how successful we may seem, far too often many of us feel like we are dying inside. Our outer worlds may seem perfect but below the surface we are struggling to keep up the facade.

Adults who have not been taught to believe they are good enough, may not believe they are. If we were made to feel like burdens as children, we may have developed subconscious and limiting beliefs that prevent us from feeling truly connected to the Divine Self. Without this connection to the Self, we navigate our worlds in faulty ways. We are unaware we are unaware and unconsciously draw into our experiences people who cause us to feel very similarly to the way our caretakers did. We are unknowingly locked inside invisible grids and repeating patterns from the past.

If you are an adult who is suffering from low self esteem, perhaps it is time to ask yourself 'why'.

Why do you think you struggle with self worth?

In many of the cases, our answers lie in...
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As adults, codependency manifests in the way we relate to others

CPTSD causes someone with attachment and abandonment trauma to learn to believe they are unworthy of love.

When as a child, you have never felt seen, and the feeling of rejection is so deep, you are unable to find raw value in yourself, this creates trauma.

Chronic emotional trauma, unpredictability, and feelings of powerlessness are not states of 'being' a child can escape and as a result, children who are unable to return to a 'flow' state of peace, calm, and a sense of safety, stew in anxiety and stress.

As adults, codependency manifests in the way we relate to others. Rather than seek love because we know we are worthy of love, we go about getting our needs for 'attachment' through maladaptive avenues. Rather than flow with love, we seek to cater and act in service to others, hoping we can avoid the hole within feeling rejected and abandoned has created.

In relationships, a codependent who was shy as a child will be more passive, withdrawn, and reserve, while catering to the...

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So many of us have been taught to believe we are not good enough

So many of us have been taught to believe we are not good enough. For some, the emotion of fear may have been triggered early on and quite possibly even in utero. The limbic brain is wired to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. Anything that causes a growing fetus to experience a threat to harmony and peace will be registered as pain. Humans are being downloaded long before we are able to walk. Unfortunately, because so many people do not appreciate the experiences of children as valid; believing that what children cannot remember doesn't count, we are a world of wounded adults who are stuck in states of fight or flight who may not even realize it.

Compounding societal ignorance is the fact that ALL human beings are born asleep. We are not born aware. We are born with brainwave states that equal the dream state of consciousness. We do not have the ability to think critically as children. All that happens to us in our outer world becomes downloaded into our growing and impressionable...

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When you understand your programming, you are better able to take into consideration the programming of those of the opposite sex

“You never tell me how you’re feeling”, it’s a common complaint that men often hear. For many, it’s the first salvo in a long conversation that will cause their partners to touch on their deficiencies, and lack of emotional intimacy and disregard for their partner’s emotional needs. Ironically, the more a man is berated for not having feelings, the less likely he is to share them with the one pointing the finger. Oddly enough, conversations like these often times end up ignoring the man's feelings altogether.

Let's take a look at this dilemma, shall we?

Men are often accused by partners for 'not having feelings' and yet, men have just as many emotions and feelings as any member of the opposite sex. And just because women are more comfortable expressing how they feel, does not give us the right as females to criticize, coerce, or manipulate the men in our lives into opening up.

Let’s be clear: many men have a difficult time expressing their...

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The more you have been bruised as a child, the deeper the nails of your ego will want to stay dug into your soul

The undeniable truth is that at your core--apart from who your parents were, or what they taught you, or what they did to you--you are perfect in every sense of the word.

At your core--apart from all the negative influences of earlier and less evolved man--you are as divine as any star, moon, or sun. At your core--apart from what society, advertisers, family, friends, or schools have taught you to believe about you and your world--you are as worthy as any planet in the sky.

At your core--apart from what you have been wrongly conditioned to believe about you and this world--everything is unblemished and is in harmony with the universe and universes at large whether man consciously believes it is or not.

There is no need to worry.

The planet, the sun, the moons, and all the other planets in our galaxy have never been told how to spin, or shine, or rest. The sky knows when to rain down on the ground below, and the earth knows just how quickly to revolve. Our hearts beat according to the...

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Depression is real and often a sign that one has struggled to feel enough

Depression is real and often a sign that one has struggled to feel enough, connect to their emotions, others, and to the idea that it is possible to make life amazing.

In the height of my depression, I was unconscious to how powerless I believed I was and how codependent I was on those around me. I felt and believed I was stuck.

I did not believe I was enough or worthy and below the veil of consciousness, were programs leading me to believe and act as if I needed others to approve or validate me.

All my beliefs were backwards and did not support life. Instead, I consistently believed my power was outside of me. I begged for approval and worked my fingers to the bone to make others happy. I suppressed my own needs and grew angrier, more resentful and in time collapsed.

If you have ever suffered from depression, have you ever considered it a symptom of something deeper, and if so, what did you discover?

How would your perception of depression change if you considered it a symptom or...

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