Codependency--The Challenge to Be Me
by Lisa A. Romano
For most of my life, I struggled with self-worth. I did not truly believe I was worthy of love, understanding, acceptance, kindness, or appreciation. In the back of my mind was a core belief that sounded something like, "Nobody really likes you or loves you. You're not good. You're not smart. You're not pretty. You're not funny. Why would anyone want to love you? It's your job to prove to others you are good enough and when they finally say that you are good enough, then maybe you will be. Until then, keep working at trying to be good enough." This unconscious pattern of thought kept me bound as well as broken, seeking the approval of others.
When we are codependent, it is like we are living under water. We aren't really living at all. It is as if we are outside the fish tank looking in, wondering when we will finally feel like we belong, or that we are good enough to belong. The illusion that we are not good enough is strong and innate, we never question the idea that it may just be an illusion after all. We are stuck in unconscious loops of dysfunctional thinking and fail to realize that at anytime we can come up for air, or jump into the aquarium.
Codependency is one of the toughest challenges anyone can ever hope to overcome. Being codependent implies that every thought you think is being filtered through a faulty filter. Our very perceptions about self have been corrupted by early neglectful childhood experiences and as a result, have become our presuppositions about life.
The brain is amaze-balls!
The early presuppositions we make about our self-worth as children, literally become the programs by which we build our lives. And while this may suck for many of us, in reality, fully understanding the dynamics at play holds the keys to unlocking the universe itself.
Yeah, so I am a dreamer, but without dreamers where would this world be? There really is a silver lining to every story ever told and yes, it is a struggle to force our minds to rise above the pain and the memories of what has been done, but for the hero who never gives up, the glory of discovering the divine self far outweighs any suffering ever experienced.
It may suck to realize that our impoverished childhoods infected the fertile soil our subconscious minds truly are, BUT the law of inversion is alive and well here on planet earth Dear Ones!!!!!!
If our minds can be programmed externally, then they can be programmed internally. If our outer (childhood homes) impacted our inner (perceptions about self) as children, then as adults, our inner (disciplined point of focus) can impact our outer (future desired reality).
Codependency is essential a challenge to be or not to be. Codependents struggle with being who they think others want them to be, all the while hoping they wish they could be who they really are. Codependents wish to live an authentic life, yet await for permission to tell the truth. Those of us wishing to heal from codependency are on the precipice of conscious evolution. Through the healing of codependency, a human being finds the opportunity to become self-actualized in the purest form. When you have healed from the twisted knots of neural pathways that have you stuck in a state of fight of flight, you are one step closer to becoming the ENOUGH you, you were born to be.
This journey towards self-realization is as much neurological as it is spiritual and as much physical as it is meta-physical. It is time to embrace the whole of who we are on this journey towards the meaning of life and to begin appreciating the fact that codependency can be overcome, when we are willing to see beyond illusions.