Narcissists need a toy to play with. Much like cats play with mice, narcs like to lay in waiting until the mouse feels secure and is out in the open. Once the mouse is out in the open and is feeling safe, that is when the cat strikes the hardest. When the mouse least expects to be taken over, that is when cats enjoy striking the most.
Narcissists are clever. They lure victims in with their compliments, kind words, and adoration. In the beginning, and during the 'safe phase' they pretend to 'see' their victims in ways others have failed to. If you are a tired wife, a narcissistic man will be sure to pick up on your weary feelings and drown you with praise. He will lead you to believe that others are fools for not noticing how hard you work. He will tell you your husband is a fool for not appreciating his hard working wife. You will feel seen, heard, validated, understood, and soon you will begin to feel young and even sexy again. He will look at you in ways that make you feel desirable. You will feel wanted and worthy. You will wake up in the morning and put makeup on. You will start dieting again and your husband will think, 'Who is that woman?'
If you are a husband who feels undervalued by his wife, a narcissistic female will smell your lack and like a moth to a flame be drawn to the wounded bird you are. She will compliment you. She will tell you how sexy you are. She will douse you in compliments, flirtatious looks, and speak to you in ways that will excite your brain the same way cocaine does. You will feel 20 years younger. You will start taking better care of yourself. You will start looking and feeling better. You will wake up excited in the morning and your wife will wonder, 'Who the hell is that guy?'
In both cases, the wounded have no idea they are being baited with cheese. Their unconsciousness and lack of self-understanding have made them vulnerable to energy predators.
The same dynamics are at play whether you are in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship. These dynamics have nothing to do with sexual orientation and instead are completely vibrational in nature. This needs to be understood and appreciated.
When we are asleep and below the veil of consciousness, we are completely vulnerable to our emotions and our thoughts. And, the more below the veil we are, the more vulnerable we become for narcissistic others.
Narcissists cannot help but vomit all over others. They suffer from a supreme lack mentality and become energy vacuums who cannot survive without being able to literally 'suck the energy life force' out of others. They are SO below the veil of consciousness and SO disconnected from higher self--that they cannot help but throw up on others. Their greatest conflicts about self, become the projections they place upon others.
Narcissistic men and women seek out the wounded. The lack within the wounded codependent broadcasts a signal that narcissists can hear, sense, taste, touch, and feel. This broadcasting signal is no different than the fear the cat smells in the mouse in its house. This plane of reality we codependents and narcissists live in is vibrational in nature. It is unique to the human experience. In the case of cats and mice, they live in a unique dimension as well, but like us, their dimension is also vibrational in nature.
The only way to heal is by way of healing the vibrations within us. The more lack we sense in ourselves, the more we attract others who are lacking. The more lacking the person we attract, the more this person will want to suck our energy from us. Narcissists cannot survive without an external power source.
If you want to end this codependent dance and stop attracting narcissistic others into your life, you must STOP fixating on people, things, words, actions, or situations that are happening OUTSIDE of you.
Healing is an INSIDE job!
The more you understand your personal vibrations the more willing you will become to hold yourself accountable for the way you speak and treat yourself.
The longer you fixate on trying to be good enough for someone else, the more of a target for narcissistic abuse you remain. The more you value yourself, the happier you will be in everyday life. The happier you become in everyday life, the less dependent you are for others validation. The more you validate yourself, the less vulnerable you will be for narcissistic others.
Today's Love Life Anyway Challenge is to do what you can to rewire your mind so you can begin shifting your emotional set-points. Are you willing to remind yourself that YOU ARE ENOUGH?
Please share this post with someone you believe may not understand how their lack of self--is making them a target for others who feed off of those who lack a sense of self. We can learn to stop broadcasting lack, but to do that, we must start seeing 'enoughness' in ourselves right where we are.
We CAN end this crap but only if we know what it is we need to change.
Share your experiences or thoughts if doing so resonates with you.
All my love,
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