May 24, 2018

Codependency and Shame

by Lisa A. Romano

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So you grew up in a home with parents who could not or would not 'see' you. Your home could have been one filled with alcoholism, or it could have been a dry home that looked perfect from the outside. Whether you grew up with chaos or you grew up feeling like your home was still and sterile, if who you were as a soul was never validated you probably carry a lot of shame.


Children who were treated like their souls-or their emotions were invisible inevitably receive the message that who they are on an internal level is unworthy. These feelings of unworthiness cause deep shame.

What Can You Do Now?

One of the best things you can do now, is literally surrender to what has been, and then embrace the power of NOW. In this moment you can allow yourself to 'see' yourself. You can finally allow those unexperienced experiences to be expressed.

How Can I Allow These Unexperienced Experiences To Be Expressed?

In order to heal what has been, one must allow the emotions of the past to come up even if they hurt. Sort of like allowing yourself to acknowledge the pain you might feel in an infected toe, opposed to hating or denying the pain, healing is all about learning to allow your mind to simply take a back seat to the emotional expression of the pain of the past.

No this is not easy, nor is it comfortable, but it is the only way.

  1. learn to meditate and still the mind so you can actually 'feel' what you are feeling
  2. journal each and everyday about what you feel (ask yourself 'How do I feef?')
  3. remind yourself daily that you are not six anymore
  4. learn to find the gap before you answer any other persons questions
  5. learn new terms like, "I will need time to get back to you on that."

These are just a few suggestions to help you begin your journey, but they are lifesavers regardless of what stage you are at on your path.

In love and in light dear ones!