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Narcissists and Hoovering

The #1 way to get narcissists out of your life is to STOP seeking approval, permission, and acceptance from others.
 
It is really difficult to walk by faith and not by sight when you have been raised to feel like you are not good enough. The inner child within you will continue to seek bonds and connections to others, even to your own detriment UNTIL you awaken and finally start seeing that it is not you -- it is only your programming.
 
Your heart is GOLD and there are people out there who will think nothing of playing with your emotions. There are people who will exploit you, and play mind games. Okay, fine...so there are people out there who lack empathy and are not serious when it comes to relationships...well...those people need people who are the same wavelength. What they don't deserve are those who can and are willing to participate wholeheartedly in a committed relationship.
 
The next time someone throws you away, pay attention. And when and if they...
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Outsmart a Narcissist

When dealing with someone with high narcissistic traits, it can be awfully tempting to defend, lash out, and even fall apart after having to interact with them. Some of the telltale signs you're dealing with a narcissist reveal themselves in how you feel when you are with them and how you feel once they are gone.
 
When in the presence of someone toxic, you may feel on guard, hypervigilant, fearful, and as if you need to walk around on eggshells. If the narcissist is accusatory, you may feel confused and experience brain fog. You may find your thoughts trapped within a maze of ricocheting thoughts and discover you are experiencing an intense need to escape asap.
 
When you are away from someone who is highly narcissistic, you will feel drained and relieved you are no longer in the presence of someone who needs to be right, make others wrong, and who needs to believe in their superiority over you in order to feel in control of their emotions.
 
In lots of cases,...
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It is NOT your job to make other people happy

Dear one, I am here to tell you that it is NOT your job to make other people happy - just like it is not their job to make you happy! You, just like everyone else, have the ability to make and keep yourselves happy.

You also do not have to agree with everyone you talk to. It is okay to have disagreements with someone and it is okay to not think the exact same way as another person. It is not okay to get reactive. if someone is passionately saying the sky is purple when you know it is blue, it is perfectly fine to say "okay, if thats how you feel" and walk away. Maybe even change the subject. This is setting a boundary with yourself; when someone disagrees with me, I will not feel the need to prove myself or force myself to agree with them - I will honor how I feel - and let myself think for myself.

Learning how to set boundaries is also about learning about why you do not know how to set boundaries. Learning how to love yourself is the first step in setting boundaries.

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When Life Drops Shit at Your Door

When Life Drops S**T at Your Door and it, Will You've Got Decisions to Make

 

Be a Warrior, not a Worrier 

As we enter into a New Year, we all must do what we can to stay on the healing path, monitor our thoughts, mind our vibrations, and pluck out of our consciousness those ideas that pinch us off from the stream of abundance, health, happiness, contentment, joy, and peace of mind.

In times like these, doing so can feel like a herculean task.

Each and every single one of us has been impacted by the pandemic. Some of us have lost businesses, jobs, and many of our hopes have been dashed. And there are those of us who have paid the ultimate price by having lost a loved one.
 
 
 
It is difficult to find the words to comfort heavy hurts when the world seems to have gone mad. When we have lost freedoms, liberties, a sense of safety, and those we loved the most.
 
It is difficult to remember that within us is the power to manage our emotions when it feels...
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Peace Out 2020

Peace Out 2020

 
This year every single one of us was put to the test. It is difficult to recall the early months of 2020 when the entire world fell into the darkness of unknowns and to consider those lost and those we continue to lose.
 

 Goodbye 2020

 
As we say goodbye to 2020, it is a good time to reflect on lessons we may have learned. Naturally, humans tend to under-appreciate what comes easily. Most of us never had to worry about gathering toilet paper, toothpaste, diapers, or baby formula. If we needed something, all we had to do was go to a store and get it, or press a few tabs on a keyboard. If we wanted to grab a cup of coffee with a friend or two, we could, without even thinking about it.
 

Be the Change

Humans are odd creatures indeed. Rationally we know none of us will live forever, and that in any moment life could change, and yet, we still behave, for the most part, like our time will never come to an end, or that someone we love will...
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It's Not You -- It's Your Subconscious Paradigm

What You See Outside of You Has Been Programmed Inside of You

Look at this picture. What do you see? Most of us would say that we see a mirrored reflection of the buildings showing up on the water. 

Reflections

I always found reflections fascinating. It is said that Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection after pushing Echo away. Echo loved Narcissus, or so she believed. Echo spent the rest of her life lonely until nothing remained of her but her echo. Sadly, this relationship mirrors many codependents who seek the approval and validation of charismatic, and often beautiful narcissists, who can only love themselves.

The Death of Narcissus

The Greek Myth reveals that Nemesis decides that Narcissus' cold behavior towards Echo cannot go without punishment. 

The classic version by Ovid, of Narcissus and Echo, suggests that Nemesis lured Narcissus to a pool where he fell in love with his own image. Narcissus withered there, with tremendous passion stuck inside of...

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You're Human Darling -- Embrace It

Your Divine Innate Intelligence vs Artificial Intelligence

We need to be careful. The world is becoming more reliant on artificial intelligence and it is happening right under our noses. 

Why should you care?

Imagine this -- we have scientists and engineers working to program robots to attune themselves to humans, and yet, most of us are tuned OUT from the self. 

How is it, within each of us is innate potential, far greater than any form of artificial intelligence, and yet, so few of us know how to tap into that divine intelligence?

If you are an adult child from a less than nurturing home, you may have been 'programmed' to detach from your emotions. 

  • Your home was hostile, unpredictable and you felt unsafe
  • Your parents were addicts, narcissistic and ignored your needs
  • You were abused emotionally, mentally, physically, and or sexually
  • You were humiliated for crying
  • You were guilted for having a need
  • You were shamed publicly and embarrassed as a form of punishment
  • You...
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What to look for in relationships

Healthy Relationship Signs

If you were raised in a home where wounds were created daily and exploited often, and you are on a quest to find a healthy relationship as an adult today, you may be looking out for danger signs, without paying attention to healthy signs.
 

The Fear of Intimacy

Abused adult children can spend their lives in fear of becoming hurt inside relationship dynamics. We can fear intimacy, vulnerability and tone ourselves down. On the flip side, we can be too open too soon, and expose our deepest and most wounded parts of ourselves without building faith in the other person first.
 

Children in Adult Bodies

We are children in adult bodies and often do not realize that our fears as well as hopes are driving our emotions and behaviors. For these reason, when we are unaware we are unaware, we don't always make the most sound choices when it comes to choosing partners or friends.
 

What Does Your Healthy Relationship Look Like

 
If you are on...
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Narcissists & Boundaries

 

Narcissists and Boundaries

Someone who loves you, cares about you and actually wants to know how you REALLY feel, welcomes open communication. Someone who is mature, has your back and can experience you as a 3D autonomous being WANTS to know how you experience the world.
 
However, when faced with needing to set boundaries with narcissists, this is not the case.
  • Narcissists will find ways to punish you for daring to set boundaries.
  • They are angered by your desire to have an open dialogue.
  • They are resentful that you dare to suggest they've crossed a line and how you feel never crosses their mind.
 

Overt Narcissist 

 
Overt narcissists are easier to spot. They will bully you, verbally abuse you, demean you and treat you unkindly and often, openly in front of others.
 

Covert Narcissist 

 
Covert narcissists however, find other ways to show their hidden rage, aggression, and resentments. When dealing with covert narcissists, you will need...
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