Narcissists need a toy to play with. Much like cats play with mice, narcs like to lay in waiting until the mouse feels secure and is out in the open. Once the mouse is out in the open and is feeling safe, that is when the cat strikes the hardest. When the mouse least expects to be taken over, that is when cats enjoy striking the most.
Narcissists are clever. They lure victims in with their compliments, kind words, and adoration. In the beginning, and during the 'safe phase' they pretend to 'see' their victims in ways others have failed to. If you are a tired wife, a narcissistic man will be sure to pick up on your weary feelings and drown you with praise. He will lead you to believe that others are fools for not noticing how hard you work. He will tell you your husband is a fool for not appreciating his hard working wife. You will feel seen, heard, validated, understood, and soon you will begin to feel young and even sexy again. He will look at you in ways that make you feel...
We are all here on a journey and although each one of us seems to come from vastly different parts of the world, the undeniable truth is--we have all come here to learn the same lessons.
In nature there is an intrinsic and divine beautiful and balanced relationship between the sky and the earth.
The sun delivers to our plants the energy it needs to manufacture within its cells the food and nutrients required to survive. Our plants and animals rely on the sky for the fresh water it needs to live. Our earth provides shelter for the animals in the forests and jungles and trees for animals with wings. And when one tree falls, the forest does not mourn--for it accepts the cycle of all things and rests in the knowing that the carcass of the fallen tree--will inevitably decay and in so doing, even replenish the earth it rots upon.
All things have been born for one reason and one reason only--to live.
And while this sounds simple and even obvious--far too many beings are born--and die--while...
We all KNOW the TRUTH.
We all KNOW when we are being abused by the way we feel--BUT--we don't always believe we do NOT deserve to be mistreated.
Sometimes, because abuse has been our norm, we simply don't recognize narcissistic abuse as a real 'thing'.
When we have been conditioned to NOT see the self--and to NOT honor the self--we don't, not because we don't want to, but because we DO NOT know how to honor the self--or believe we have the RIGHT to.
We may want to set a boundary--but may be at a loss as to how--or we fear what might happen if we do set a boundary.
This codependency thing is NO joke!
It kills our souls, our minds, our bodies.
It keeps us attracting narcissistic abuse and blind as to how or why we are unable to gain the love we seek.
It can destroy families--cause wars between countries--and has the potential to keep man asleep FOREVER.
Codependency is as dangerous as a drug--but--at least with drugs and alcohol you can SEE and TOUCH the problem.
Codependency--can NOT be seen...
Self care should include humility.
When we are humble, we can more clearly define ways in which we may be abusing ourselves unnecessarily.
On the healing path, we need to take the time to love the self to STOP and question whether or not we are taking care of ourselves as efficiently as possible.
Let’s face it—it is up to us to value the self.
Do you drink too much?
Do you eat too much?
Do you exercise too little?
Do you gossip?
Do you criticize others?
Do you expect others to read your mind?
When we stop to think about these types of ideas, only then can we clean up our act. We can’t fix holes in the wall we can’t see and that is why it is important to consider how humility fits in to self care.
This weekend, consider how much alcohol, sugar, or unhealthy fats you put into your divine vehicle. Consider how much time you spend oxygenating your amazing cells. Think about what energy you put out there in the world and do what you can to consciously become more...
For those of us who grew up in dysfunctional homes, as children, we may not have understood that we were being brainwashed to think, feel, and behave like our parents. When we were small, the soil that was our fertile, innocent, virgin subconscious minds were being downloaded with all sorts of weeds. If our parents were racists, feared spending money, or spoke poorly about those in different religions, as adults we must begin to understand that childhood rearing is in fact indoctrination. If your parents were well adjusted, balanced, fair, civil, kind, nurturing, empathetic, attuned, generous, accepting, understanding human beings, more than likely the indoctrination you experienced has benefited you. But, what if, your parents weren't so kind? What if your parents treated you with indifference, were alcoholics, narcissists, emotionally abusive, passive aggressive, minimizing, condescending, or physically abusive? What kind of impact would that type of repetitious indoctrination...
One of the blessing of being human is the fact that we have a consciousness. Unlike animals, we have the ability to choose and to act upon our free will. Animals do not have free will. A horse cannot become a painter or violinist any more than a rose can choose to become a tulip. A tree is rooted to where its seeds have been planted. If ants wish to invade the tree, there is little the tree can do. And even a horse, if a man wishes to tame a horse and breaks its will to be free, he can. Man has dominion over the land and in the end, in spite of the horses wild and free nature, man can do what he wishes to the horse including killing it if he chooses to do so.
The human mind is not stuck inside its skull like the tree is rooted to the ground that supports it. Our mind is NOT like the horse, in that, ultimately there will be a force greater than our own that can control it. Although adult abuse survivors may feel they are being controlled by others, the truth is, it is only the belief...
Life changes are difficult for everyone. When we are faced with confronting our addictions, failed marriages, troubled children, or we are told we are facing a major health crisis, in most cases, many of us realize something (although we may not know what) has to change.
All those times we drank, popped a pill, had sex, argued, or fell asleep, instead of listening to our divine inner guidance leads us to places in our life where the pain has become so excruciating we burn out. Our once smiley codependent, people pleasing dispositions have been buried by all the stuffing and denying we have done for the sake of not rocking the boat. And it's not that we don't want to rock the boat as much as it is we don't know what to do when we actually do rock the boat.
One of the reasons I feel so compelled to speak out on behalf of all the silent abused adult children of the world is because I simply do not think it is fair that those of us who have been denied healthy coping skills, meaningful...
If you have been conditioned to believe that taking care of the self or NOT doing something that someone has asked you to do is SELFISH, it can be quite difficult for you to believe that you have a right to SELF CARE.
Before we can successfully self-love, we must first heal any idea that ever had us believing we were selfish for taking time to self-care.
Dear One, you have come to EMBRACE the self and to CREATE the life you deserve. This is your birthright.
Be willing to be RESPONSIBLE for how you feel and in all communications with others, be respectful, be mindful, and be willing to allow other people the right to think what they want.
When you love the self, it is really difficult to be mean to others even when others are being mean to you.
Self care this weekend and practice allowing other people to have their opinions of you without you needing to change them.
Sometimes self care is all about LETTING GO!
Nope, nobody has been born to make sure your life experience is comfy and cozy.
Nope, there is no one out there that is responsible for your happiness.
Nope, nobody out there can really read your mind.
Nope, not everybody is going to like you.
Nope, you will NOT be invited to every dinner party or event.
Nope, your children will not always think you’re awesome.
Nope, there is no guarantee your friends won’t disappoint you.
Now, doesn’t that feel better?
Isn’t it a relief to know that our lives are NOT supposed to be perfect?
Isn’t it awesome to know that it is okay to NOT have to make sure EVERYBODY thinks we LIKE THEM?
Isn’t it freeing to know shit is gonna’ happen and that is okay?
Childhood programming taught you to believe YOU HAD to get people's approval otherwise you might DIE.
Childhood programming taught you to believe that unless you gained the approval of others, you were UNWORTHY.
Childhood programming taught you to believe your self esteem...
Wisdom is timeless.
As it was in the beginning, it is now and ever shall be.
Who has ever entered this time-space reality and not yearned to be comfortable in their own skin?
The illogicality of this desired premise is the notion that our comfortability depends on our skin itself.
Yet, many a fine beauty has felt vile in her own skin. So then, what beings yearn for cannot be found in the flesh and blood of the material world.
What we are after, is non-physical--invisible--a
All creatures crave harmony from within. Harmony is a word that is used mostly to describe pleasing music and or sounds. Harmony--sound--music--are
It is possible to become comfortable in one's own skin, even if one's own skin is not comfortable.
It is not possible to achieve harmony from within without accepting what is the current state.
It is not possible to heal from within, without first...