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Codependents struggle with knowing who they are

For years I ignored my body, my emotions, my spiritual, emotional, and mental self. I was unaware I was a reactive being and enmeshed with those around me. My moods, thoughts, and actions were the effects, and other people's moods, thoughts and actions were the cause.

Codependency recovery requires detachment and this process is anything but pleasant, easy, or quick.

Codependents struggle with knowing who they are.

We struggle with our identity and often tie our sense of self to how well we are able to gain validation and acceptance from others.

Our behaviors are co-dependent, reactive, and dependent upon how well we serve others. And when we do for others and fail to have others treat us as we unconsciously expected, our deepest abandonment wounds are triggered.
Our relationships are co-dependent and we fail to make ourselves a priority.
These days, I respect certain Codependency Commandments and I especially appreciate the importance of respecting my divine body.

I hope you are learning...

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Healing from codependency and issues related to growing up the adult child of an alcoholic is not an easy thing to do. In order to resolve issues from the past, you have to learn to face the dragons within. These dragons are those associated with abandonment, fear, and rejection. Adult children of alcoholics grow up feeling like they are not enough. Their parent's addiction to alcohol trumps the emotional needs of the children in the home. When children grow up feeling invisible, their minds develop negative ideas about the self. To heal from the past, as an adult, you have to learn to address those fears head on, face them, and overcome them consciously. 

Thank you for participating in The 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program and for being a ray of hope for others. 


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Only when we create a relationship with our inner self can we ever hope to experience sacred intimacy with another

All humans desire intimacy, but the ego will trick you into believing what you want exists in the 3D world and unless you achieve it, you are unworthy, nothing, and invalid.

Until your higher self is permitted to be more of the thinker and observer in your life, your perceptions will be hijacked by the lower, wounded, more unaware mind.

The 3D world is full of temptation. We are tempted to cling, to run and to hide. We are tempted to attach, push away, and live in fear of what is happening outside of us, or we live clinging to what is happening outside of us, feeling pulled around by the energies of others.

Only when we create a relationship with our inner self and release our attachments to the outer world, can we ever hope to experience sacred intimacy with another.

Be still...breath deeply...try not to think...just feel and believe you are enough, battle scars and are enough...

Since the beginning of time, you have been under the illusion that the love you seek...

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When you have not been raised to love yourself, it is far too easy to grow up feeling disconnected from the self

When you grow up guessing at what normal is, it is super easy to not know how to react, how to respond, what to think or how to feel.

When you have not been raised to love yourself, and instead, you are forced to live in a state of hypervigilance, it is far too easy to grow up feeling disconnected from the divine self.

Learning to accept the self, how we feel, what we think, what we desire, need and believe is a heroic journey for someone who has been conditioned to live as if who they are is insignificant.

Childhood trauma conditions a human to fear just about everything!
Dissecting our belief systems we discover how unfairly we were programmed to sacrifice the self for the sake of keeping others happy, calm, and content.
Healing requires we unlearn faulty concepts while we also take on the incredible task of learning healthy concepts.

In the end, the universe rewards those who love themselves and those who have figured out how to put themselves first. The universe accepts whatever...

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Empaths with codependency can lose themselves in over-empathizing with others who are in pain

Empaths must use boundaries to help them protect the energies of those who can drain their energy. Empaths with codependency can lose themselves in over-empathizing with others who are in pain. This makes empaths targets for those with high narcissistic traits. 

Codependents and empaths are targets for narcissists and sociopaths because they are compassionate, caring, understanding, and have a great desire to understand other’s pain. When you are someone who cannot help but feel other’s pain, it is sometimes impossible to be able to know what you feel. Add the need for a narcissist to have power over you, and it is not difficult to see how easily it can be to become lost inside very dark energies.

Without being able to use the spirit of discernment to your advantage, you may just keep attracting others whose agenda it is to control and abuse you.

LOVE and COMPASSION are SUPERPOWERS for EMPATHS. We have the RIGHT to honor our ability to FEEL what other people feel for...

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When we lack boundaries, we are feathers in the wind

Boundaries help us stay in our own lane. They help us honor our emotions, feel our feelings, and honor our internal wisdom.

When we lack boundaries, we are feathers in the wind. We feel distracted, powerless, and we are unsure whether we are following our own drum or the drum of others.

When we lack a healthy sense of self, we suffer with self doubt. We don't know if we should trust our judgment, intuition, decisions, or if we have the right to end relationships with those that are negative, critical, draining, argumentative, and abusive. We stay, shut ourselves down, rationalize, and hush our internal wisdom to sleep.

Boundaries help us detach from the fear of what other people think. They allow us to experience our emotions, our beliefs, our desires, and our personal truth. They allow us the freedom to discover who we are, in spite of who others want us to be or tell us who we should be.

There are those who won't like it when you set a boundary. They will become angry when you...
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The moments we remember the most are the ones that have helped shape who and what we become

The moments we remember the most are the ones that have
defined us and helped shape who and what we become.

Our most painful moments are the ones that break us in some
way. They rip the world from beneath our feet and cause us to
feel like we are free floating in an abyss. We can become
terrified, arrested in fear and lose our sense of safety.

In my life, I have come to realize all those moments were
opportunities to let pain out and let love in. I have had many experiences break me more times than I’d like to recall, however, upon reflection, the moments that broke me were chances to become as tough as steel.

Every time my heart was broken, I had the opportunity to let go
of the fear that caused me to cling to something that did not
serve me, and learn to rely more on the love within.


Now I know that when I was breaking I was actually experiencing awakening.

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To experience love and intimacy, we must learn to be honest

Every human being wishes to be loved and to love. To experience love and intimacy, we must learn to be honest. Intimacy is crucial when it comes to experiencing healthy relationships, but what is intimacy exactly?

For those of us who come from abandonment, rejection, unpredictability, and addictive or abusive homes, it is not so easy to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, but without vulnerability, we can never experience intimacy.

Intimacy is tied to the ability to share ourselves with others in honest ways. It implies we are willing to share our fears, desires, opinions, and beliefs with others in a way that represents our truest, rawest selves. When we are in healthy relationships, our partners, friends, and family members can HEAR what we are saying. We are not judged, marginalized, condemned, or made fun of when we share what we offer. The intimate things we share land upon cotton sheets not beds of broken glass.

To be intimate with others requires a level of courage. We can...

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So many of us have been taught to believe we are not good enough

So many of us have been taught to believe we are not good enough. For some, the emotion of fear may have been triggered early on and quite possibly even in utero. The limbic brain is wired to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. Anything that causes a growing fetus to experience a threat to harmony and peace will be registered as pain. Humans are being downloaded long before we are able to walk. Unfortunately, because so many people do not appreciate the experiences of children as valid; believing that what children cannot remember doesn't count, we are a world of wounded adults who are stuck in states of fight or flight who may not even realize it.

Compounding societal ignorance is the fact that ALL human beings are born asleep. We are not born aware. We are born with brainwave states that equal the dream state of consciousness. We do not have the ability to think critically as children. All that happens to us in our outer world becomes downloaded into our growing and impressionable...

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When we grow up thinking other people must like us, we are doomed

When we grow up thinking other people must like us, we are doomed. We are doomed because there is absolutely no way we could ever control what is happening inside someone else’s mind.

In addition, most people are unconscious most of the time and the lens in which they view the world is skewed by their past experiences. The way people look at you and perceive you is determined by their pasts.

From this perspective, we can all take a deep sigh of relief and fully acknowledge how irrational and absolutely useless it is to worry ourselves sick over making sure other people like us. That is not to say we forget our manners and stop holding doors for other people. It means we hold ourselves with integrity, humility, and do what we can to have compassion for ourselves as well as for all.

The people amongst us who do not know they are asleep are not living at all. They just don’t know it.

Be kind, be fair, and don’t play with porcupines who think their fuzzy bunny rabbits.

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