“You never tell me how you’re feeling”, it’s a common complaint that men often hear. For many, it’s the first salvo in a long conversation that will cause their partners to touch on their deficiencies, and lack of emotional intimacy and disregard for their partner’s emotional needs. Ironically, the more a man is berated for not having feelings, the less likely he is to share them with the one pointing the finger. Oddly enough, conversations like these often times end up ignoring the man's feelings altogether.
Let's take a look at this dilemma, shall we?
Men are often accused by partners for 'not having feelings' and yet, men have just as many emotions and feelings as any member of the opposite sex. And just because women are more comfortable expressing how they feel, does not give us the right as females to criticize, coerce, or manipulate the men in our lives into opening up.
Let’s be clear: many men have a difficult time expressing their...
The undeniable truth is that at your core--apart from who your parents were, or what they taught you, or what they did to you--you are perfect in every sense of the word.
At your core--apart from all the negative influences of earlier and less evolved man--you are as divine as any star, moon, or sun. At your core--apart from what society, advertisers, family, friends, or schools have taught you to believe about you and your world--you are as worthy as any planet in the sky.
At your core--apart from what you have been wrongly conditioned to believe about you and this world--everything is unblemished and is in harmony with the universe and universes at large whether man consciously believes it is or not.
There is no need to worry.
The planet, the sun, the moons, and all the other planets in our galaxy have never been told how to spin, or shine, or rest. The sky knows when to rain down on the ground below, and the earth knows just how quickly to revolve. Our hearts beat according to the...
Depression is real and often a sign that one has struggled to feel enough, connect to their emotions, others, and to the idea that it is possible to make life amazing.
In the height of my depression, I was unconscious to how powerless I believed I was and how codependent I was on those around me. I felt and believed I was stuck.
I did not believe I was enough or worthy and below the veil of consciousness, were programs leading me to believe and act as if I needed others to approve or validate me.
All my beliefs were backwards and did not support life. Instead, I consistently believed my power was outside of me. I begged for approval and worked my fingers to the bone to make others happy. I suppressed my own needs and grew angrier, more resentful and in time collapsed.
If you have ever suffered from depression, have you ever considered it a symptom of something deeper, and if so, what did you discover?
How would your perception of depression change if you considered it a symptom or...
Narcissists need a toy to play with. Much like cats play with mice, narcs like to lay in waiting until the mouse feels secure and is out in the open. Once the mouse is out in the open and is feeling safe, that is when the cat strikes the hardest. When the mouse least expects to be taken over, that is when cats enjoy striking the most.
Narcissists are clever. They lure victims in with their compliments, kind words, and adoration. In the beginning, and during the 'safe phase' they pretend to 'see' their victims in ways others have failed to. If you are a tired wife, a narcissistic man will be sure to pick up on your weary feelings and drown you with praise. He will lead you to believe that others are fools for not noticing how hard you work. He will tell you your husband is a fool for not appreciating his hard working wife. You will feel seen, heard, validated, understood, and soon you will begin to feel young and even sexy again. He will look at you in ways that make you feel...
We are all here on a journey and although each one of us seems to come from vastly different parts of the world, the undeniable truth is--we have all come here to learn the same lessons.
In nature there is an intrinsic and divine beautiful and balanced relationship between the sky and the earth.
The sun delivers to our plants the energy it needs to manufacture within its cells the food and nutrients required to survive. Our plants and animals rely on the sky for the fresh water it needs to live. Our earth provides shelter for the animals in the forests and jungles and trees for animals with wings. And when one tree falls, the forest does not mourn--for it accepts the cycle of all things and rests in the knowing that the carcass of the fallen tree--will inevitably decay and in so doing, even replenish the earth it rots upon.
All things have been born for one reason and one reason only--to live.
And while this sounds simple and even obvious--far too many beings are born--and die--while...
We all KNOW the TRUTH.
We all KNOW when we are being abused by the way we feel--BUT--we don't always believe we do NOT deserve to be mistreated.
Sometimes, because abuse has been our norm, we simply don't recognize narcissistic abuse as a real 'thing'.
When we have been conditioned to NOT see the self--and to NOT honor the self--we don't, not because we don't want to, but because we DO NOT know how to honor the self--or believe we have the RIGHT to.
We may want to set a boundary--but may be at a loss as to how--or we fear what might happen if we do set a boundary.
This codependency thing is NO joke!
It kills our souls, our minds, our bodies.
It keeps us attracting narcissistic abuse and blind as to how or why we are unable to gain the love we seek.
It can destroy families--cause wars between countries--and has the potential to keep man asleep FOREVER.
Codependency is as dangerous as a drug--but--at least with drugs and alcohol you can SEE and TOUCH the problem.
Codependency--can NOT be seen...
Self care should include humility.
When we are humble, we can more clearly define ways in which we may be abusing ourselves unnecessarily.
On the healing path, we need to take the time to love the self to STOP and question whether or not we are taking care of ourselves as efficiently as possible.
Let’s face it—it is up to us to value the self.
Do you drink too much?
Do you eat too much?
Do you exercise too little?
Do you gossip?
Do you criticize others?
Do you expect others to read your mind?
When we stop to think about these types of ideas, only then can we clean up our act. We can’t fix holes in the wall we can’t see and that is why it is important to consider how humility fits in to self care.
This weekend, consider how much alcohol, sugar, or unhealthy fats you put into your divine vehicle. Consider how much time you spend oxygenating your amazing cells. Think about what energy you put out there in the world and do what you can to consciously become more...
For those of us who grew up in dysfunctional homes, as children, we may not have understood that we were being brainwashed to think, feel, and behave like our parents. When we were small, the soil that was our fertile, innocent, virgin subconscious minds were being downloaded with all sorts of weeds. If our parents were racists, feared spending money, or spoke poorly about those in different religions, as adults we must begin to understand that childhood rearing is in fact indoctrination. If your parents were well adjusted, balanced, fair, civil, kind, nurturing, empathetic, attuned, generous, accepting, understanding human beings, more than likely the indoctrination you experienced has benefited you. But, what if, your parents weren't so kind? What if your parents treated you with indifference, were alcoholics, narcissists, emotionally abusive, passive aggressive, minimizing, condescending, or physically abusive? What kind of impact would that type of repetitious indoctrination...
One of the blessing of being human is the fact that we have a consciousness. Unlike animals, we have the ability to choose and to act upon our free will. Animals do not have free will. A horse cannot become a painter or violinist any more than a rose can choose to become a tulip. A tree is rooted to where its seeds have been planted. If ants wish to invade the tree, there is little the tree can do. And even a horse, if a man wishes to tame a horse and breaks its will to be free, he can. Man has dominion over the land and in the end, in spite of the horses wild and free nature, man can do what he wishes to the horse including killing it if he chooses to do so.
The human mind is not stuck inside its skull like the tree is rooted to the ground that supports it. Our mind is NOT like the horse, in that, ultimately there will be a force greater than our own that can control it. Although adult abuse survivors may feel they are being controlled by others, the truth is, it is only the belief...
Life changes are difficult for everyone. When we are faced with confronting our addictions, failed marriages, troubled children, or we are told we are facing a major health crisis, in most cases, many of us realize something (although we may not know what) has to change.
All those times we drank, popped a pill, had sex, argued, or fell asleep, instead of listening to our divine inner guidance leads us to places in our life where the pain has become so excruciating we burn out. Our once smiley codependent, people pleasing dispositions have been buried by all the stuffing and denying we have done for the sake of not rocking the boat. And it's not that we don't want to rock the boat as much as it is we don't know what to do when we actually do rock the boat.
One of the reasons I feel so compelled to speak out on behalf of all the silent abused adult children of the world is because I simply do not think it is fair that those of us who have been denied healthy coping skills, meaningful...