On my early walk, I noticed this little creature struggling in the road. As I reached down to pick it up, it recoiled. It had no idea who or what this giant thing was touching it and trying to scoop it up into its palm.
As I observed the worm, I saw myself.
Once I was just as lost as this little guy who had somehow been cast out into oncoming traffic. Once, I had lost my way and I did not know left from right or up from down. I was confused, panic-filled, and lived with impending doom.
Like most of us, sometimes we need a helping hand to help us find our way back home.
This tiny creature is an aspect of infinite intelligence, just like you and me. It has a right to live an abundant, safe, cozy life just like the rest of us. I helped this little creature find its way back home and to the safety of the cool grass because I know everything that is--is a reflection of some aspect of myself.
What we do for ONE--we do for all and that includes...
If you are the kind of person that obsesses over love interests, then you know what it feels like to feel totally OUT OF CONTROL! When our minds lose the ability to think about anything else but our crush, partner, or love interest, it is time to check ourselves.
Look, if you are reading this and you are wishing to recover from Narcissistic Abuse, good for you!
If you recognize that all the confusion, anxiety, depression, angst, brain fog, memory loss, enormous self-doubt, and the fear of just about everything and everyone can be traced back to narcissistic abuse, Dear One, you are ahead of the game.
Most people who are in enmeshed codependent relationships don't even realize what is going on. They may be so below the veil of consciousness, or so emotionally abused that they are unable to recognize the fact that abuse is happening.
How sad is that?
Many of us grew up in crazy childhood homes in which unpredictability, fighting and a lack of safety was the norm. We knew nothing of going to bed feeling safe, protected, and like all was well. Instead, insecurity and generalized angst was our norm.
Lions and tigers and bears OH MY!
If you've ever experienced trauma, there is a chance you know what it feels like to have your mind leave your body. When the mind is confronted by a situation it does not have the coping skills to process at the time of the event, the time-keeper portion of the brain goes offline. Like we have been plucked by body snatchers and we have been suspended in some quantum space out in the universe somewhere, for a moment, we are NOT in our body BUT we have no idea where we went either.
Who is the 'we' I am speaking of anyway?
When I say 'we' I am referring to our consciousness and our awareness at the time. When we dissociate due to some traumatic event, our consciousness and level of self-awareness drop into a lower state of consciousness although our emotional brain may be in a hyper state of arousal. Imagine being in a small restaurant with a screaming toddler at the next table. You want to stay conscious...
1) Codependent recovery hinges on the ability and willingness to still the mind.
2) Only when we are able to observe codependent thinking can we correct our unhealthy thoughts.
3) Those of us who carry great shame will find it difficult to go within because when we let go of our external attachments we find all the fear we have been wishing to avoid.
4) Mindfulness is the ability to go within and find the silence which is the absence of nonsensical mental chatter.
5) When we use mindfulness we can find the seat from which we can reprogram the addicted codependent mind.
I remember when my therapist told me I was not crazy, but I was suffering from codependency. I was relieved as well as perplexed. I was not a drinker nor was my husband at the time. How could I be codependent? I had a big mouth. I complained all the time. I told my ex when I was unhappy. I wasn't stuffing my feelings or what I...
When we still the mind, we can observe what areas of our lives we attach to in unhealthy ways. If you believe you need others permission to feel your feelings or to validate you, you may be placing your happiness outside of you.
Whenever we place our happiness in outer experiences we open ourselves up to suffering.
Learning to meditate, becoming more mindful, letting go of ego attachments and healing from Codependency can greatly assist us Overcome Fear.
To learn more about Lisa's online Codependency Recovery Program, you can visit
Why is she narcissistic?
Why can't he just love me?
Why did he say that?
Why does she keep cheating on me?
Why doesn't he just stop and listen to me?
Why can't she just stop triangulating and just admit that she is wrong?
If you do, you're normal and just like the rest of us who are simply trying to understand abusive, unfair, dysfunctional behavior.
But here's the thing. Your power is NOT outside of you, so asking questions about other people's abusive behavior is NEVER going to get you the answers or the peace you seek by asking them. The reality is, there is NO good reason to ever abuse anyone so even if you got your answers, they would not stop the abuse anyway.
It is so freaking hard to STOP asking the wrong questions and to start asking the right ones. It means we must end looking outside of ourselves and begin looking inside of ourselves.
Inside is where we hold all our...
Life, like all wonderful vacations, must come to an end. While some may see this opening line as somewhat of a depressing thought, I hope many will also view it as sobering as well.
Life is a temporary thing and very much like a vacation, it does not last forever. Time and space cause us to be spellbound by the illusion that our death is far off in the distance somewhere and yet, consciously we all know this is an illusion itself. Many of us get up and do the exact same things we did the day before. However, what most of us fail to recognize is that we also recycle what we think and believe.
This weekend, we said goodbye to a woman who seemed as if somehow she would be the one who would escape life by not dying, ever. Her smile was large and her laugh was hearty. She had an incredibly loving relationship with her husband and two handsome sons. Her big family rallied around her during her illness, which has been a five-year-long journey, but in...
1) Observe the negative language of the Inner Critic rather than react to it.
2) Disidentify from the negative language knowing you are NOT your thoughts.
3) Write down as many negative comments you hear coming from your Inner Critic and then number them 0-5, 5 being the most painful of all statements.
4) Rewrite the negative language and replace it with loving messages.
5) Ask yourself, "Would I use this language on my best friend?" then imagine yourself doing just that. Imagine yourself using these exact phrases on a loved one. This will help your brain associate pain with these phrases which will assist the pain vs pleasure principle work for in the long run.
When we detach from the negative language of the Inner Critic we are able to be more objective about what is happening inside our minds. With a new level of objectivity, we can more easily manage negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk induces shame and when...