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What goes in sticks.

What goes in must come out.

Verbal abuse as a child is impressed upon the subconscious mind and in time becomes what the ego fears and the inner critic spits back.

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Narcissists have shadows as we all do but unlike healthier others, they are unable to experience self-awareness or self-realization. Their minds work to ward off seeing themselves and all their character flaws for what they are.

If they are liars, they will never see themselves as such or they will rationalize why they abuse you, deceive you and continue to take from you.

If they steal from you, they will not see it as stealing. Instead, they will rationalize why they are entitled to take from you without having to give to you.

They will tell themselves a story that prevents them from understanding how their selfish, self-serving behaviors are acceptable.

They will never admit that they lie, cheat, or steal. Their minds will always justify why they have done what they have done.

They will never see you as a victim of their personality disorder. Instead, they will forever view themselves as a victim, fail to take accountability and as soon as they are done with you, they are on to...

When we are codependent we do not realize that our sense of balance, peace, safety, and identity is reliant upon someone or something outside of us.

We are 'attached' to the idea that someone or something or some experience is responsible for our happiness or unhappiness.

It could be our looks, our weight, our hair, our career, our standing in a church, community or organization -- it could be our relationship status -- it could be a spouse -- a child -- friends -- a boss -- coworker -- or a career we falsely presume is the source of our happiness or identity or our misery.

Love addiction is intoxicating. It is also catastrophic as it is built upon the broken bones of a wounded inner child.

When we have come from homes that have caused us to question our worth as human beings because those who loved us have missed the mark by failing to appreciate how crucial it was for children to FEEL seen, wanted, and understood, a great gaping hole forms in our soul. This hole aches to be filled and behaves like a vacuum for what the ego believes will fill it.

Twenty years ago, my children and I were living in the eye of a messy emotional tornado. The fringes of our family unit were coming undone and my ex-husband and I were cracking under the pressure of over a decade of unresolved b/s.

When you decide to change your life by ending a marriage and especially when you have children, the angst of the innumerable unknowns rattles your brain. Times like the holidays become feared and many of us discover we white-knuckle it until January 2nd.

When you are in the midst of change, you don't know that your brain is hyper-aware because it is trying to protect you and that it feels unsafe in unknown waters. All you know is you feel terrified.

For years my body, mind, soul, and even my children paid the price for my unconsciousness. I did not know I was codependent, feared abandonment, and felt powerless. Two decades ago if you would have suggested I was insecure, felt powerless, and expected others to offer me a sense of worth through my catering...

Love bombing is an emotional and psychological weapon narcissists must rely on in order to gain access to the inner and sacred parts of their victims where they will do the most damage. 

Imagine the president of a major bank, who knew the ins and outs of the bank's security system robbing the bank. Because the president of the bank was trusted by all, they were able to steal from the bank with ease. 

Narcissists use love bombing to gain their victim's trust. As victims of narcissistic abuse become more trusting of the narcissist, the narcissist is able to do the most damage. In time, narcissistic abuse victims will distrust their emotions, ideas, beliefs, and thoughts. The narcissist will do all they can to brainwash their victims into submission. 

It is my hope, this podcast helps anyone out there who is suffering from narcissistic abuse, learn to understand why narcissists must use love bombing as a tool to manipulate those they target. 

Lisa A. Romano is a...

Covert Abuse -- the Manipulation of Language and Emotions

Emotional abuse is most often accomplished through the manipulation and use of language. 

Words can be used to create the illusion of love, while below the surface there can be a covert attempt to manipulate the one being abused. 

Listen in and hear if any of these phrases sound familiar to you.