Anything that we experience within the mental and or emotional body must manifest in the physical body. We can never separate our emotional or mental experience from our physical bodies--as all beings are the sum of that which is experienced on every level of existence.
Codependent relationships are maddening--as it is a dynamic that sucks emotional and mental bodies in like vacuums.
One minute a codependent being can be laughing and enjoying the sound of a child's laughter, and the next--he/she can notice an unease in their partner's facial expression and suddenly feel sucked into a dark hole mentally and emotionally.
One glance--one glare--one frown--one shrug of a shoulder--one movement--one word--one sentence--is all it takes for a codependent being to fill with dread.
When you are codependent--you--and your stability is not the priority.
Like a prisoner sentenced to live life according to the rules set by others--codependents play by the rules of others--and lose themselves bit by bit--as their equally codependent partners pull further away--and have their egos boosted by understanding they have control over the others emotionality--and thus can control their behaviors accordingly.
One pursues validation and worthiness--while the other looks to avoid letting down their ego--as a way to avoid feeling like he/she has 'given' into their approval seeking partner.
Pursuing partners are unaware that in all their catering--they are setting themselves up for disappointment. Because they have not learned to truly and deeply love self--nor have they yet learned to appreciate self on an authentic level--they unconsciously believe--they must overdo--and or gain--the acceptance they seek in the 'doing' for their partner.
What 'pursuing codependents' fail to consciously understand is--they will 'attract' to them--like a moth is attracted to a flame--a partner who is accustomed to withdrawing--who is uncomfortable with sharing themselves emotionally.
Until the pursing codependent awakens to his/her unconscious beliefs--and then begins to curtail their behavior--he/she will continually feel let down--and suffer both emotionally, mentally---and eventually will 'feel' the physical effects of the 'let downs' in their bodies.
All is not lost.
Pursuing codependents need to 'think' more and 'react' less.
They need to 'detach' from obsessive thoughts like;
I wonder what he/she wants/needs/thinks/feels?
I wonder what he/she thinks about me?
I wonder why he/she said that or looked at me that way?
Instead--pursuing codependents need to think;
Unlocking your unconscious belief systems is the key to your future success.
If you would like to dig more deeply into codependency, childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and how the law of attraction comes into play when it comes down to us learning to live with an abundant mindset over a lack mindset, check out my Breakthrough Warrior Membership Site. Here you will find programs, courses, workbooks, worksheets, meditations, affirmations and more, all designed to help you SHIFT the unconscious programs that have had you stuck for so long.
Lisa A. Romano
Breakthrough Life Coach, Author, and Mentor
Creator of the Transformational 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program
Dear One, it's not you-it's your programming!
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