Codependency and Enabling
It is so wonderful to feel heard, loved, and respected. We all want it, but why are so many of us unable to achieve this amazing standard in our relationships?
If you come from a less than perfect childhood, you may have never felt understood and today, you may want more than anything to be heard. Unfortunately, many of us from imperfect homes tend to attract partners who are very similar to the people who wounded us. The brain prefers the familiar and the personality feels attracted to what it knows. This is great news if you came from an awesome home, but if not, it is time to up your consciousness.
If you are someone who tends to make excuses for bad behavior, or if you are someone who tends to have become desensitized to other people’s abuse, chances are you probably never felt heard in childhood. You may still be wanting and expecting the people you love to hear you.
If this sounds like you, it is time YOU start to see YOU!
Begin by taking an inventory of how often you...
Codependency Recovery Awakens the Creator Within
I had no clue I was NOT awake when my mind was swirling and my body was failing. Every breath hurt and every step felt like the weight of the world was on my back when I was living below the veil of consciousness.
And if you had told me, "Lisa, you're asleep--you can wake up now--you can honor your self, live your life, make healthy decisions, end toxic relationships, stop caring what other people think about you, and live a life of peace, calm, confidence, spirituality, abundance, joy, fun, and fulfillment" I would have said, "Girl, you're batshit crazy.
Today, I know better, but that is only because I learned to appreciate the power of surrendering to the idea that THOUGHTS DO BECOME THINGS--and that MOST people are freaking ASLEEP, UNCONSCIOUS, living from the viewpoint of the pain-body or the WOUNDED EGO!
Lions and tigers and bears--OH MY!
It is not our fault the mind is both conscious and unconscious at the same time. Learning to appreciate that the mind can be unconscious...
Living in Survival Mode
When your mind is wired to survive because your home life was unpredictable, unsafe, and painful, your body cannot thrive. You will breathe, walk, talk, think, and go on with your day, but your immune system will suffer. The human body is NOT designed to live in a chronic state of stress. YES--emotional and mental stress can hamper the immune system.
The goal is to heal the reactive mind and to teach the brain that life can be amazing and that you can learn to trust yourself again. Learning to confront limiting beliefs, codependency, controlling behaviors, denial, and embracing our wounds rather than running from them can help our brains come out of survival mode.
You deserve a nonthreatened brain!
Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Codependency Recovery Program-Review
A huge THANK YOU to Michele for her beautiful testimonial.
I am sure many young moms can relate to feeling overwhelmed by trauma, codependency, work, school and the day to day responsibilities of life, especially when our spiritual toolbox is fairly empty.
When we have not been nurtured, it is all but impossible to nurture the self. Add a few narcissistic, abusive, toxic relationships in the mix, and it is not difficult to see how heavy a life experience can become. We can all relate to how much more difficult life becomes when we add a child or two as well.
Lions and tigers and bears OH FREAKING MY!
When we do not know HOW TO address an overwhelming emotion, what choices do we have?
We suppress, deny, avoid, react, dissociate, fawn, work, yell, and do whatever we can to manage the tension or the anxiety that shows up when we are unable to find relief from the feelings we are feeling.
And that is NOT our fault.
Luckily, there is a way out, although the road can be bumpy at times,...
The True Meaning of Easter
Many are celebrating a resurrection today.
Many are praising the cheating of death.
Many are giving thanks for salvation.
Today is a wonderful time to reflect on the human ability to resurrect and save one's life from the concept of eternal death, by learning to embrace the POWER of SELF-LOVE.
Each and every one of us has come to confront the old and be born anew.
When we AWAKEN and begin to understand the automatic default settings of the human brain, consciousness is pierced, and a NEW concept of SELF can be born.
When you have been asleep (a sheep) and you are unaware that your conscious mind is barely conscious at all, born is the ability to become born again.
When you are birthed into darkness, you know nothing of the LIGHT.
When you are indoctrinated to believe you are powerless, unworthy, and unlovable, you are blind to the LIGHT.
When you are in a world that mirrors darkness, you know nothing of the LIGHT that you are.
How could you?
When the blind lead the blind there is...
Judgmental People Challenge
Many of us are one of those 'judgmental people'. We judge, criticize, condemn, and ridicule others and sometimes rarely stop to wonder why. But, if you'd like to clean up your vibrations and STOP being one of those judgemental people, we've got a challenge for you.
Today, tame your mind and refuse to give into ANY delusion or illusion of COMPETITION.
No matter where you go, REFUSE to be DRAGGED into the vibration of COMPETITION.
No matter the TEMPTATION by the media or any outside force, REBUKE the pull of judging the self or someone else.
Darkness will whisper 'You are not enough' and it will also drag you to the pits of unconsciousness and cause you to see NOT ENOUGHNESS in others as well.
In those dark moments, you will not see the mirror.
You will NOT see how you have been BRAINWASHED to see and believe in the lack within you.
You will NOT see that your noticing of lack in another is a mirror to the lack you may hold of self.
And sadly, there are those who...
Trauma May Be Controlling Your Thoughts
One of the blessings of being human is the fact that we have consciousness. Unlike animals, we have the ability to choose and to act upon our free will. Animals do not have free will. A horse cannot become a painter or violinist any more than a rose can choose to become a tulip. A tree is rooted in where its seeds have been planted. If ants wish to invade the tree, there is little the tree can do. And even a horse, if a man wishes to tame a horse and breaks its will to be free, he can. Man has dominion over the land and in the end, in spite of the horses wild and free nature, man can do what he wishes to the horse including killing it if he chooses to do so.
The human mind is not stuck inside its skull like the tree is rooted to the ground that supports it. Our mind is NOT like the horse, in that, ultimately there will be a force greater than our own that can control it. Although adult abuse survivors may feel they are being controlled by others, the truth is, it is only the belief...
Healing the Mother Wound
Many of us were not born to self-actualized mothers. Some of us had mothers who raged, belittled, and emotionally abused us. Some of us had physically abusive mothers who perhaps were even jealous of us, our friends or boyfriends. Whatever your specific experience, not feeling loved by a mother can be akin to death.
Whether you are male or female, feeling discarded by the very creature that created you causes disruptions both emotionally, physically, psychologically, neurologically, and socially.
How can a being who feels rejected by the very essence that created them ever feel they are worthy of love?
If you have suffered a ‘mother wound’ it is not too late to correct the messages that have been downloaded in the subconscious mind. Commit yourself to rewiring those faulty messages no matter how long it takes to reclaim your mind, body, and soul. NEVER GIVE UP re-mothering yourself Dear One. This is your BIRTHRIGHT but YOU must CLAIM IT!
Repeat to yourself often;
You...
Codependency Recovery Breaks the Cycles of Dysfunction
My son and I have not always had it easy. I was barely 24 when I had given birth to this Dear One and gravely below the veil of consciousness, wrought with anxiety, and most likely suffering from undiagnosed depression.
For many years, I believed myself to be a wonderful mother. My son heard the words "I love you" and I made sure to show interest in who he was a person and in things he liked to do. But below the level of my conscious mind were many codependency patterns unfolding I was not aware of.
I was tense, critical, rigid, and perfectionistic. I was sad, lonely, and felt deeply disconnected from his father. The more I tried to please and connect, the further his father and I drifted apart only adding to mounting anxieties.
I was codependent but unaware. I was a child in an adult body emitting energies my conscious mind swore I would not. I was focused on outside things that pulled my energies from where they should have been directed. I was easily spooked by what others said...
Self Care Tips
Self Care Tips to be Codependent No More
- Start each day with a meaningful intention
- Meditate every morning even for just ten minutes
- Do deep breathing exercises to help calm your mind
- Get a calendar and schedule exercise time
- Be sure to get enough sleep
- Avoid negative and draining conversations
- Make sure you eat well and perhaps speak to a nutritionist
- Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you
- Get out of the habit of defending yourself unnecessarily
- Develop nightly routines that involve eating a good meal, reading a nurturing book, soaking in a warm Epsom Salt bath, and moisturizing your skin.
Self-care is one of the greatest keys to emotional health. The more you care for your teeth, the stronger your teeth will be. This seems like common sense, so why do so many of us naturally ignore the self?
We are a society of unconscious minds who have been programmed to gain bonds and form attachments to other unconscious others.
Many of us have been indoctrinated to...
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