Love addiction sucks!

If you are the kind of person that obsesses over love interests, then you know what it feels like to feel totally OUT OF CONTROL!

Have you ever driven past a love interests house dozens of times, hoping they might just ‘happen’ to catch a glimpse of you ‘coincidentally’ passing their house? Have you texted and then texted again, and then texted some more, when your love interest did not text you back? Have you stalked their Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts? Have you stayed up all night fantasizing about who they are with, what they are doing and about why they haven’t called you since breakfast? Does your mind ruminate and worry about what they think about you, your hair, your lips, your car, your dog, your house and so on?

Shout Out to Lisa A. Romano from the cast of WAVES

Emotional Sobriety is a gift and it is what we should all be striving for.

When we are emotionally sober, we are not reactive, impulsive, or lost in a sea of survival mechanisms. We are deliberate in our thoughts, actions, and intentions. We do what we can to avoid thinking that is rooted in lack. We learn to honor what we have been through in the past, acknowledging that the power to overcome is a sure thing!

Healing from the past is definitely tricky, BUT, understanding it is POSSIBLE certainly brings us HOPE, as we become more aware of what has been holding us back.

Self-love requires a certain level of maturity, logic and reason. In a world full of superficiality, materialism, and illusions, it can be all too easy to fall prey to emotionality.

We have come to EVOLVE our CONSCIOUSNESS and when we approach the concept of self-love from the realm of LOGIC and REASON, it is EASY to see that loving the self just makes SENSE! And in fact, when we stand on the plane of logic and reason, we can see that NOT loving the self makes ZERO sense.

When we love the self, we are acting MATURELY. We are no longer acting like powerless children who need permission to take a bath, read a book, or to have a spinach salad. When we love the self, we are acting like the grown ass adults we are and are no longer moving about through life thinking we have to put up with someone else’s abuse, nonsense, lies, minimizing, shaming, gambling, drinking, cheating and alike.

If ALL people everywhere loved the self—there would be PEACE on earth. Addictions would end....

One of the emotions many codependents rely on to help us feel less powerless is resentment.

When we are angry at someone who has not done what we think they should have, and often when our own abandonment traumas have been triggered, our minds can rear off into the land of punishment and vindictiveness. The more VALUE we have placed on someone or on the relationship, the more RESENTFUL we are when that person does not behave the way we think they should have.

But here is the problem…resentment and vindictiveness keeps us stuck and repeating patterns of thought that reinforce our feelings of victimhood. While we are lashing out, we are essentially telling the universe that this other person hurt us and we are pissed off because we have been victimized in some way.

In a nutshell, we are telling the universe—“I AM A VICTIM—see how angry I am—see how pissed off I am—see how much power this person has over me—I have NO power myself—I have no...

I am not 'playing the victim' when I admit that as a child I was brainwashed to believe my emotions were irrelevant and that the more I tried to pretend I did not have feelings, the crazier, lonelier and more terrified I felt.

Far too often people who do not understand that in order to heal an emotion you must feel an emotion, judge those who are struggling to validate why they feel the way they do.

I have heard people tell others 'to suck it up -- get over the past -- stop whining -- it is time to put your adult panties back on' and so on.

As adults, we tend to get stuck in the mire of the problems of the moment. If we are depressed, resentful, sad, disempowered, and just plain stuck, we rarely lift our heads in curiosity and simply ask 'Why?'

If you have been mistreated, neglected, and have suffered abuse, it is not your fault if misery has become a faithful companion.

What goes in comes out.