When you suffer from codependency you are in denial of many things. You may be in denial of the self, of how you feel, of what you think, desire, and believe.
You may also be in denial of past childhood experiences that may be at the root of low self-esteem, insecurities, and the inability to set healthy boundaries.
When you suffer from codependency, you also struggle to identify abusive behaviors from others. This is related to your inability to connect to the self, honor your own experiences and hold onto your internal realities.
I hope this short video helps anyone out there struggling to heal from codependency better understand how denial plays a critical role in keeping us stuck.
If you have been abused by a narcissist, you may not even realize the trauma you have experienced. Narcissists create tremendous confusion in their victims through lying, denying, twisting of facts, and through the manipulation of emotions.
Ending the narcissistic relationship is mind-bending. Not all breakups are the same. When you break up with your high school sweetheart, that sucks but at least you know you are breaking up with your high school sweetheart. When you break up with a narcissist, you are ending a relationship that never really existed. Well, not the way you think it did anyway.
When you love a narcissist, you have fallen in love with an illusion. A narcissist does not live in reality. They live through the image of their false self, the one they want YOU to believe in and the one they present to the world. In truth, the narcissist is shame-based and cannot deal with...
Before I finally accepted I was codependent, I rejected the label.
"Me, codependent? How could that be? I don't drink. My ex is not an alcoholic. We don't use drugs. This can't fit. I have a big mouth. I am intelligent. I can't be codependent. Something else must be going on."
When we are codependent we can reject labels because they make us uncomfortable. If our spouse is an alcoholic, we may feel uneasy accepting this label. If we struggle with alcohol we may struggle with admitting to ourselves we are powerless over alcohol.
When we are codependent and in relationships with troubled personalities, we struggle to accept the reality of our partner because of what it says about us.
"If my partner is an alcoholic, a gambler, a cheater, or a narcissist, what then does that mean about me?"
Codependency is a label that brings order to chaos. It helps a codependent see in...
It was a real pleasure to be invited to be a guest writer for Psychology Today.
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Do you find yourself naturally wanting to help heal, nurture, take care of, and champion for others?
Do you naturally wish to support and assist the underdog?
Are you easily overwhelmed by sensory stimulation and need to often reenergize?
Do superficial people and conversations irritate and drain you?
What about your relationships? Do you tend to love too much and receive too little? Do you attract high maintenance type personalities that tend to default to feeling like a victim and are you expected to take responsibility for how others feel?
Life will drag you through the mill, that is for sure.
It is difficult to remember that LIFE is a CLASSROOM and we are here to LEARN all we can before our final physical transformation.
Gratitude is a LIFE-GIVING energy and the more grateful we can FEEL in our everyday lives, the LESS we notice B/S.
The more we MILK a sense of WONDER for our MIRACULOUS body, brain, consciousness, and connection to all that is, the more we raise our FREQUENCIES and the more we resonate with ABUNDANCE!.
Isn’t it awesome to know that in ANY given moment, we can LEARN TO FLOW OUR FOCUS towards ANY idea or thought and SHIFT our attention from LACK to ABUNDANCE, and from FEAR to LOVE?
No matter who crappy our day, within us is the POWER to be thankful and GRATEFUL for something and when we CHOOSE of our FREE WILL to CONTROL our stream of consciousness, at that moment, we are MOLDING our FATE.
I think this is something to be TOTALLY GRATEFUL for.
How has GRATITUDE helped improve your life?
When we carry deep emotional wounds, we are far from the warmth, love, and wisdom of our Inner Light. When we experience healing, we move closer to our inner light. We FEEL more integrated, connected, and peaceful. It is as if we have found the window in our soul that had been letting in the frost, and through closing the window, we experience more wholeness. Finally, our energy can grow, expand, and begin to conduct warmth.
Closing the window can represent a boundary of some kind. When we are wounded, our energy is pouring out of us and this impacts mental clarity, hormonal regulation, blood flow, and even our cardiac circuitry. When we are stuck in sympathetic nervous system overload, inflammation occurs in the body and we can experience this inflammation in the form of migraines, rashes, fibromyalgia, arthritis, fertility issues, gastrointestinal problems, and cognitive issues as well.