To experience love and intimacy, we must learn to be honest

Every human being wishes to be loved and to love. To experience love and intimacy, we must learn to be honest. Intimacy is crucial when it comes to experiencing healthy relationships, but what is intimacy exactly?

For those of us who come from abandonment, rejection, unpredictability, and addictive or abusive homes, it is not so easy to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, but without vulnerability, we can never experience intimacy.

Intimacy is tied to the ability to share ourselves with others in honest ways. It implies we are willing to share our fears, desires, opinions, and beliefs with others in a way that represents our truest, rawest selves. When we are in healthy relationships, our partners, friends, and family members can HEAR what we are saying. We are not judged, marginalized, condemned, or made fun of when we share what we offer. The intimate things we share land upon cotton sheets not beds of broken glass.

To be intimate with others requires a level of courage. We can...

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So many of us have been taught to believe we are not good enough

So many of us have been taught to believe we are not good enough. For some, the emotion of fear may have been triggered early on and quite possibly even in utero. The limbic brain is wired to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. Anything that causes a growing fetus to experience a threat to harmony and peace will be registered as pain. Humans are being downloaded long before we are able to walk. Unfortunately, because so many people do not appreciate the experiences of children as valid; believing that what children cannot remember doesn't count, we are a world of wounded adults who are stuck in states of fight or flight who may not even realize it.

Compounding societal ignorance is the fact that ALL human beings are born asleep. We are not born aware. We are born with brainwave states that equal the dream state of consciousness. We do not have the ability to think critically as children. All that happens to us in our outer world becomes downloaded into our growing and impressionable...

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When we grow up thinking other people must like us, we are doomed

When we grow up thinking other people must like us, we are doomed. We are doomed because there is absolutely no way we could ever control what is happening inside someone else’s mind.

In addition, most people are unconscious most of the time and the lens in which they view the world is skewed by their past experiences. The way people look at you and perceive you is determined by their pasts.

From this perspective, we can all take a deep sigh of relief and fully acknowledge how irrational and absolutely useless it is to worry ourselves sick over making sure other people like us. That is not to say we forget our manners and stop holding doors for other people. It means we hold ourselves with integrity, humility, and do what we can to have compassion for ourselves as well as for all.

The people amongst us who do not know they are asleep are not living at all. They just don’t know it.

Be kind, be fair, and don’t play with porcupines who think their fuzzy bunny rabbits.

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When we HOLD onto anger, resentment, fear, guilt, it is our body that suffers

People who love themselves and who have learned the value of self-care ultimately understand how detrimental it is to NOT forgive the self or others.

When we HOLD onto anger, resentment, fear, judgment, guilt, or rage and we feel the need to punish others for what they have done to us, it is our body that is holding onto those hot coals. It is our gut that is churning with the fire of negative emotions and it is our soul that is prevented from ascending into higher realms of spirituality.

Yes of course, unconscious people can do bad and terrible things, and so can you and me. Every human being is both light and dark, but the goal is to evolve past the dark so we can heal our bodies through the power of our minds and integrate more fully, become more light-body activated and maybe even help others to do the same.

You are more space than you are anything and more energy than you are matter, therefore the space that holds the energy that you are must matter.

Self-care that ignores the...

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If you struggle with codependency, you struggle with having a healthy autonomous identity.

If you struggle with codependency, you struggle with having a healthy autonomous identity.

When asked the question, "Who are you?" you answer according to your roles in society, or you describe yourself according to ideas that have shaped your perception of self. You speak in terms of what has happened to you or in terms of what role you think you play in the world or in your family.

You say things like;

I am a woman.
I am a man.
I am a father.
I am a mother.
I am a soccer coach.
I am a doctor.
I am a writer.
I am someone with a disability.
I am depressed.
I am anxious.
I am a bus driver.
I am an electrician.
I am a hairdresser.
I am the daughter of a narcissist.
I am the adult child of an alcoholic.
I am a sexual abuse survivor and so on...

While all of these statements might very well be true for you, the truth is, they do not describe who you are separate from what has happened to you or what role your culture or our very imperfect, still chaotic society has placed you into.

Many of us are still...

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Children are not born knowing how to love self

There is nothing that upsets me or excites me more than an adult child of an alcoholic, or an adult child of a dysfunctional home who is on the cusp of being able to comprehend that he/she is NOT her thoughts.


When you are born to parents who cannot SEE you, who cannot HEAR you, who are unaware at how self absorbed they are--in relation to you--YOU never learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Because it is the absolute responsibility of the parent to instill within a child a sense of unconditional love and acceptance--children are not born knowing how to love self. In fact, children learn about their worth or lack of through their relationships with parents. If the parents are dysfunctional, then so will be the messages the child receives about self, others, the world, relationships and love.


Perhaps the saddest thing about being a wounded adult child of a dysfunctional parent--is how often we tend to argue for our limitations. We argue for why we can't stop smoking, lose...

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Adults who have not been taught to believe they are good enough, may not believe they are

Many adults suffer from low self esteem. In spite of how successful we may seem, far too often many of us feel like we are dying inside. Our outer worlds may seem perfect but below the surface we are struggling to keep up the facade.

Adults who have not been taught to believe they are good enough, may not believe they are. If we were made to feel like burdens as children, we may have developed subconscious and limiting beliefs that prevent us from feeling truly connected to the Divine Self. Without this connection to the Self, we navigate our worlds in faulty ways. We are unaware we are unaware and unconsciously draw into our experiences people who cause us to feel very similarly to the way our caretakers did. We are unknowingly locked inside invisible grids and repeating patterns from the past.

If you are an adult who is suffering from low self esteem, perhaps it is time to ask yourself 'why'.

Why do you think you struggle with self worth?

In many of the cases, our answers lie in...
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So many of us have been taught to believe we are not good enough

So many of us have been taught to believe we are not good enough. For some, the emotion of fear may have been triggered early on and quite possibly even in utero. The limbic brain is wired to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. Anything that causes a growing fetus to experience a threat to harmony and peace will be registered as pain. Humans are being downloaded long before we are able to walk. Unfortunately, because so many people do not appreciate the experiences of children as valid; believing that what children cannot remember doesn't count, we are a world of wounded adults who are stuck in states of fight or flight who may not even realize it.

Compounding societal ignorance is the fact that ALL human beings are born asleep. We are not born aware. We are born with brainwave states that equal the dream state of consciousness. We do not have the ability to think critically as children. All that happens to us in our outer world becomes downloaded into our growing and impressionable...

Click to Continue Reading...

Let No Thing Separate You From The LOVE That You Are!

If you knew you were enough, what would you do today?

If you knew you were enough, what plans would you make for the following year?

If you knew you were enough, how would you feel around others?

Be grateful Dear One, because you are ENOUGH and only faulty ideas once separated you from being able to FULLY embrace the miracle that is LIFE!

Let no one or no thing separate you from the LOVE that you are!

#GratitudeTuesday

 

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When Love Goes In Love Comes Out

As adults, we tend to get stuck in the mire of the problems of the moment. If we are depressed, resentful, sad, disempowered, and just plain stuck, we rarely lift our heads in curiosity and simply ask 'Why?'

If you have been mistreated, neglected, and have suffered abuse, it is not your fault if misery has become a faithful companion.

What goes in comes out.

As it is below so shall it be above.

When love and acceptance go in, we feel the love and acceptance of self.

When fear, hate, and abuse go in, we feel these energies within us.

It is not our fault if when as innocent, powerless beings dysfunctional authority figures infected us with their negative energies.

However, today, as free will thinking adults, we have the potential and the right to heal our lives through the raising of our consciousness, the learning of new programs, and the acting upon truth.

You were never not enough.

Within you is the power to change what goes in so you can change what comes out.

All my love!

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