Codependent recovery, when done deeply will kick our ass.

As codependents, we have lost our identity and who we think we are can be enmeshed with how worthy or valuable we are to others.

OMG and SMH!!!!

The older I get the more humble I become, and the more I appreciate the saying, "Youth is wasted on the young."

The decades I spent chasing, begging, reacting, and pleading to be heard, understood, respected, held, nurtured, and loved are all gone.

The only thing ANY of us have that is worth worrying about is our TIME.

The truth sets us free but that does not mean it is easy to look at, pull apart, process, respect, work through, or heal from.

I was raised by an ex-Marine who struggled with his emotions who ingrained my siblings and I to believe crying was a form of weakness. Whether this had anything to do with his own perception of being a 'Tough Marine' or not, the ideas he brainwashed into my siblings and I have had devastating and lifelong consequences.

My father refused to ever allow himself to feel vulnerable and raw. He feared to expose himself and his true emotions because he was afraid of being seen as weak. Feeling vulnerable as an adult male hit too close to his pocket of pain and shame, the one that nearly consumed him when he was about 3 or 4 years old.

My father's mother committed suicide when he was just a young child. His father was a raging alcoholic who hid his emotions by drowning them out with six packs of beer. My father had no healthy male role models. And so, because this...

One of the emotions many codependents rely on to help us feel less powerless is resentment.

When we are angry at someone who has not done what we think they should have, and often when our own abandonment traumas have been triggered, our minds can rear off into the land of punishment and vindictiveness. The more VALUE we have placed on someone or on the relationship, the more RESENTFUL we are when that person does not behave the way we think they should have.

But here is the problem…resentment and vindictiveness keeps us stuck and repeating patterns of thought that reinforce our feelings of victimhood. While we are lashing out, we are essentially telling the universe that this other person hurt us and we are pissed off because we have been victimized in some way.

If you are feeling resistance anywhere in life, you may want to have your Higher Self have a little talk with your EGO. 

If you have someone you are angry at, you may not realize you might be stuck in EGO.

Ego is a defensive state and when we are in this mindset we are stuck in the past. The Ego is non-creative and unless we expand our minds, we are doomed to repeat the cycles of our past. 

Many of us are addicted to something, whether that is a relationship, Facebook, Instagram, television, food, anger, sex, shopping, alcohol, drugs, or our phones.

Many of us are running away from an emptiness we cannot name and in the busying ourselves with OUTSIDE things, we get to evade the pang of that emptiness.

Hence, why so many of us are codependent.

ALL children are conditioned and programmed to believe the thoughts that show up in their very limited minds.

And that is okay.

ALL parents are imperfect. ALL parents make mistakes. ALL parents get angry from time to time. ALL parents say the wrong things, get frustrated, misunderstand, get tired, meltdown, and wish they could do better.