The life of the adult child of an alcoholic as well as for the alcoholic or any being who believes they are powerless over their current states of mind, are all living a paradox.
It is right to presume that all beings created--desire to be loved, accepted, and validated for the essence of who they are. And yet in spite of this yearning to be loved, ACoA's, alcoholics, addicts and the victims of abuse deny themselves the love they yearn.
The greatest dis-ease of man today is that man does not love self--the self that is separate from his illusion of ego.
When beings identify their worth by physical things found in the so called physical reality, man--through thought separates himself from the very thing he yearns for.
It is not possible to find the love a being searches for in a car, a home, a dress size, a business, or a bank account. It is not possible to find acceptance when that acceptance is being judged by some kind of ruler.
Acceptance just is--no matter what.
All human children require connection and to be attuned to loving parents and caretakers and when that does not happen there is a dis-order in the natural evolutionary process of the human being.
This is not OUR fault. LOVE is a requirement for a healthy life.
LOVE is required for healthy brain growth, and the ability to trust others as well as the self.
If you have been abused since childhood, codependency, low self-worth, shame, guilt, anxiety, the inability to trust yourself and others are symptoms of LOVE DEFICIT DISORDER!
If you suffer from self-love deficit that’s because you FIRST suffered LOVE DEFICIT DISORDER and that is not your fault.
It is my hope, that as human consciousness expands, so does the understanding of the cause of symptoms rather than just focusing on the outcomes of causes.
Codependency is a symptom and it has definitive causative agents--none of which are the fault of the one suffering from codependency.
How many of you believe that the root of most...
Enlightenment implies we were once in the dark.
To be enlightened is to come out of the darkness within. Fear equals darkness. Darkness is fear and yet, we are the light and at our deepest truth we have NO THING to fear because we are enough.
Fear is the result of conditioning and childhood programming. While fear that is related to being hit by a truck as we walk across a busy city street is healthy and necessary, fearing being alone or being ostracized to the point of panic and overwhelming doom is NOT healthy.
Healing from emotional fears related to trauma IS THE HEROES JOURNEY because NO ONE can face the darkness within and overcome it but the one in the dark.
1) Wake up every morning and declare ‘I am enough’
2) In your mind turn to your inner child and say ‘It is not your fault you fear abandonment-you have been abandoned’
3) Visualize yourself hugging your inner child and say to them, ‘I am so sorry you have been abandoned-please forgive me...
Namaste Dear Ones!
Nobody ever tells us this, but they should. On the path to emotional sobriety, we will be faced with ALL OF OUR FEARS! Our ego will be challenged and every one of our wounds will be activated. We will be confronted with choices we once prayed we'd never have to make.
Will we choose them, or will we choose ourselves?
Will we stay quiet, or will be rock the boat?
Will we stay, or will we walk away?
Will we react and lash out, or will we surrender and accept what we cannot change?
Will we people-please, fawn and dissociate, or will we walk through the fear of making changes that will require us to face our fear of being alone?
Lions and frikin' tigers and bears--OH MY!
The road to recovery and healing from codependency is a path to enlightenment.
When we suffer from the fear of abandonment, we do not realize we are living below the veil of consciousness as ego clings tightly to conditioned behaviors it was powerless to control while...
Ego is that aspect of our personality that has been designed to negotiate the innate needs and impulses of the inner child with the outside world. We may have times where we want to scream or curse someone out, but our ego may realize this is not socially acceptable or ethically responsible.
The ego will work to protect the inner child from further injury. Some of us have been conditioned to tone ourselves down to avoid additional pain, while others have learned to lash out at others as a way to teach others to back off so to avoid further emotional pain.
Neither is healthy.
What is important to acknowledge is that enlightenment requires a letting go and the release of the need to shut down or lash out. When faced with the choice to let go, ego will feel threatened and to the unaware mind, this threat will cause a crisis.
The enlightened mind will look within and change in self what needs to be changed for the purpose of peace on the outside as well as on the inside. A young...
The only thing we can create are those things we believe in and the opposite is true as well.
No one can create what they do not believe is possible to create.
When I think about my mom, who spent over 50 years appeasing a narcissist whose agenda it was to keep her small, afraid, in check, and to himself, a fire ignites in the pit of my soul.
When I think about the sexual abuse my mother endured as a child, and how it was never spoken about, my teeth clench.
When I think about my mother's father domestically abusing my grandmother, I have to close my eyes and take deep breaths.
When I think about my grandmother showing up drunk and with a wet head, with mascara dripping down her face at my mother's wedding, I have to try not to crawl out of my skin.
When I think about my mother's last year of life, and I remember the callous ways in which my father spoke to her, and I recall the words he used to describe how angry he was with her dementia, I want to scream--and some days I do.
If we want to save the children, we must play with them...so simple--yet so profound...
Children who cannot trust that their world is safe, cannot let go and unleash their creativity nor can they connect to the self.
Instead, they will be stuck, hyper-vigilant, afraid, and on guard for the next attack. Their world will feel prickly, unsafe, and cold.
They will feel alienated from others as well as from the self and suffer from not being able to connect with others.
They may become resentful and angry and live in fear of letting anyone too close. Video games, drugs, self-harm, and alike, become ways to escape oppressive loneliness.
Every smiling face they see on social media, or at the cafe will remind them of this loneliness.
We change the world when we understand just how dark and deep any of us can get....and like it is written--"there but for the sake of God go I"
We all needed to FEEL loved and to FEEL safe and to FEEL wanted--and for those of us who NEVER felt this way--and...