Codependency -- Accepting the Label 

Adult Children of Alcoholics and Narcissists 

 Before I finally accepted I was codependent, I rejected the label.

"Me, codependent? How could that be? I don't drink. My ex is not an alcoholic. We don't use drugs. This can't fit. I have a big mouth. I am intelligent. I can't be codependent. Something else must be going on."

When we are codependent we can reject labels because they make us uncomfortable. If our spouse is an alcoholic, we may feel uneasy accepting this label. If we struggle with alcohol we may struggle with admitting to ourselves we are powerless over alcohol.

Living With a Narcissistic Parent

It was a real pleasure to be invited to be a guest writer for Psychology Today.

You can enjoy this article by clicking here.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201605/the-narcissistic-parent

Empaths and Narcissists

Do you find yourself naturally wanting to help heal, nurture, take care of, and champion for others?

Do you naturally wish to support and assist the underdog?

Are you easily overwhelmed by sensory stimulation and need to often reenergize?

Do superficial people and conversations irritate and drain you?

What about your relationships? Do you tend to love too much and receive too little? Do you attract high maintenance type personalities that tend to default to feeling like a victim and are you expected to take responsibility for how others feel?

Empaths 

• feel the emotions of others and process the world through the emotional realm
• are highly giving and forgiving
• prefer smaller groups and one to one interactions
• need to recharge often
• are super duper nurturing 
• are sensitive to sensory stimuli
• feel drawn to water, forests, animals, and plants
• attract narcissists and people with high victim-mentalities
• tend to suffer GI issues, headaches, body...

Life will drag you through the mill, that is for sure. 

It is difficult to remember that LIFE is a CLASSROOM and we are here to LEARN all we can before our final physical transformation. 

Gratitude is a LIFE-GIVING energy and the more grateful we can FEEL in our everyday lives, the LESS we notice B/S.

The more we MILK a sense of WONDER for our MIRACULOUS body, brain, consciousness, and connection to all that is, the more we raise our FREQUENCIES and the more we resonate with ABUNDANCE!.

Isn’t it awesome to know that in ANY given moment, we can LEARN TO FLOW OUR FOCUS towards ANY idea or thought and SHIFT our attention from LACK to ABUNDANCE, and from FEAR to LOVE?

No matter who crappy our day, within us is the POWER to be thankful and GRATEFUL for something and when we CHOOSE of our FREE WILL to CONTROL our stream of consciousness, at that moment, we are MOLDING our FATE.

I think this is something to be TOTALLY GRATEFUL for.

How has GRATITUDE helped improve your life?

Healing is the Expansion of One's Inner Light

When we carry deep emotional wounds, we are far from the warmth,  love, and wisdom of our Inner Light. When we experience healing, we move closer to our inner light. We FEEL more integrated, connected, and peaceful. It is as if we have found the window in our soul that had been letting in the frost, and through closing the window, we experience more wholeness. Finally, our energy can grow, expand, and begin to conduct warmth. 

Closing the window can represent a boundary of some kind. When we are wounded, our energy is pouring out of us and this impacts mental clarity, hormonal regulation, blood flow, and even our cardiac circuitry. When we are stuck in sympathetic nervous system overload, inflammation occurs in the body and we can experience this inflammation in the form of migraines, rashes, fibromyalgia, arthritis, fertility issues, gastrointestinal problems, and cognitive issues as well. 
 

Codependency Was...

Living a Lie 

I remember the moment I realized that for my entire life I had been living a lie. Like all humans who had been born into a sleep state consciousness, it was over three decades before I would begin to understand just how big a lie I had been living.

Deep within the recesses of my mind stirred darkness. This darkness had voices and inside my mind, I often felt or heard, 'You are not enough. You are no good. You are unworthy. Nothing works out for you. You are not beautiful. You are not intelligent. You are not wise. You were not born for greatness. You were born to merely survive. You do not deserve happiness. You are not worthy of love.'

I heard these words when I looked into the mirror, or when I noticed disappointment in the eyes of my parents. I felt the emotions of these words whenever my ex-husband would roll his pointer finger towards his right temple as he uttered the words, "You're whacky!" The people in my life mirrored the beliefs I held about...

9 Major Narcissistic Traits 

• Emotional Abuse

• Emotional Manipulation

• Gaslighting

• The exploitation of Emotions, Energy, Money, Kindness

• Isolation From Family and Friends

• Cheating

• Triangulation

• Lack of Empathy

• Narcissistic Rage

1) Emotional abuse causes you to believe that you are the reason other people are angry, sad, or unhappy. Narcissists cause you to believe you are responsible for the way they feel.

2) Emotional manipulation that is rooted in switching the tables. Narcissists violate you and then when you complain or address their abuse, they switch the tables and are angry at you for being angry at them.

3) Gaslighting is a form of narcissistic abuse that will cause the victims to doubt their perception of reality. Narcissists can also minimize your accomplishments, downplay your successes and or lie about events causing you to doubt your perceptions. 

4) Exploitation is a form of narcissistic abuse that involves exploiting the kindness,...