May those of us who have been abused in childhood learn to be the strong yet wise parents our children need.
May we NOT be confused between empathy and enmeshment.
May we NOT be confused between support and enabling.
May we NOT be so codependent or narcissistic that we FAIL to see our children as individuals who need to FLEX and DEVELOP their own ability to think and care for themselves.
May we NOT be so worried about what other people think that we coddle our children to the point where they NEVER learn to believe they can make it on their own.
Abused adult children, who have craved validation can transfer their fear of abandonment upon their children and overcompensate by taking care of TOO much for their children or they can be so wounded by their pasts they can depend on their children for a sense of identity and enmesh with them for a sense of self.
BE WISE.
Heal yourself--hold yourself accountable--take care of yourself--PROVE to yourself that YOU are enough and then, teach...
We are all here on a journey and although each one of us seems to come from vastly different parts of the world, the undeniable truth is--we have all come here to learn the same lessons.
In nature, there is an intrinsic and divine beautiful and balanced relationship between the sky and the earth.
The sun delivers to our plants the energy it needs to manufacture within its cells the food and nutrients required to survive. Our plants and animals rely on the sky for the freshwater it needs to live. Our earth provides shelter for the animals in the forests and jungles and trees for animals with wings. And when one tree falls, the forest does not mourn--for it accepts the cycle of all things and rests in the knowledge that the carcass of the fallen tree--will inevitably decay and in so doing, even replenish the earth it rots upon.
All things have been born for one reason and one reason only--to live.
And while this sounds simple and even obvious--far too many beings are born--and...
There are many steps one must take in order to heal the emotional wounds of our pasts. While healing is a process, it is helpful to first come into some key understandings.
Most of our wounds occurred when we were defenseless children--powerless--and under the control of others. Because we were dependent upon those who may have been violating the innocence within us--we did not feel safe. As a result, our minds developed coping skills to help us survive the everyday abuses we may have experienced.
Perhaps we floated away--and disassociated ourselves from our immediate pain. We may have counted, cut, binged, purged, obsessed, ticked or sought love in places we could never have found it. It doesn't matter what survival skill we developed. What is most important is that we do not re-victimize ourselves by now judging the very miraculous survival skills that allowed us to endure the suffering we experienced as children.
The main ingredient to healing emotional abuse--is learning to...
It is unfortunate that so many of us have been so damaged that we need to learn how to love self. However, it is a miraculous thing to know that beings who have suffered incredible emotional hardships have in fact overcome.
Have you heard of people like Oprah Winfrey and Tony Robbins?
Yep—incredible humble and pretty tough beginnings.
A rich man does not make a smart man, nor does a poor man make an ignorant man.
Beauty does not guarantee a kind heart, not does lack of beauty equate lack of inner perfection.
Turn within instead and stop resisting your integration.
You are not your body, nor your mind. You are spirit. Your mind allows you to connect to spirit and your body allows you to physically feel spirit.
Peace can only be found within the temple of man--his spirit. Man can be poor, yet full of peace. Man can be dying, yet full of peace, if that man holds within his spirit the knowing that while on this earth--he loved with all of his heart--and most importantly--he knows...
| Codependents lack self-love, have little to no boundaries, dissociate, numb out, sometimes rage, and often fawn and cater to people we think might be angry at us for some reason. We can become co-dependent upon others for approval, as well as on our careers, and food. When we do not feel good enough, we can become co-dependent upon almost anything that helps us avoid the feelings of loneliness we feel on the inside. As codependents, we have been programmed to seek validation, acceptance, and permission to feel what we feel and think about what we think. Even when we are 'feeling' and 'believing' we should end a friendship or some other type of a relationship like a marriage or business agreement, we struggle with believing we have a right to do so. Even when we get angry, we look to the one who has pushed our buttons for permission to feel upset. When it comes to letting go, it helps to consciously accept that none of us ever let go because we want to. Letting go is always... |
It is probably one of the most emotionally challenging things to do as a human being who loves another human being. Setting boundaries with those we love can be difficult and anxiety provoking. So how do we know when we should set a boundary with someone we love?
It is certainly a complicated question and it has helped me to develop a certain protocol around boundary setting with people I love. It is not always fail proof, but having some type of concrete plan has helped me feel less anxious when put in a difficult spot by someone I care about.
My formula is fairly simple. If someone is talking poorly about me and not to me, that is something I generally brush off unless this person is someone who claims to love, honor and respect me. If I am spoken about poorly about someone who claims to care about me and our relationship, my general rule of thumb is to confront them personally, directly, and to let them know precisely how what I heard made me feel. If this person then reacts by...
There were so many stumbling blocks along the way to publishing The Road Back to Me in Spanish, but no matter what, I kept the vision of the completed book in my hand-in my mind. I added the cover to my vision board and no matter what showed up, I stayed nonresistant, controlled what I could, released the rest and focused on my desired outcome.
If I can make dreams come true so can YOU!
Sometimes the past messes up our NOW and then sabotages our future.
But sometimes we BREAKTHROUGH!
Thank you to all of you who have believed in me, encouraged me, and have allowed my work to open your heart and your minds to the ways in which we can access the power to heal our lives.
I love you all!
Self love is the key to everything.
When we set boundaries we are loving the self.
When we forgive, we are loving the self.
When we refuse to shame the self, we are loving the self.
When we invest in the self, we are loving the self.
When we meditate, we are loving the self.
When we rest, we are loving the self.
When we say ‘NO’ we are loving the self.
And when we say ‘YES’ and we mean it—we are loving the self.
Self love is absolutely the key to everything but the foundation for self love is healing any idea that ever had us believing we were not enough.
All problems are the result of one's interpretations of a particular situation. Deeper, all problems are the result of our attachments to a particular outcome we have egotistically presumed is the proper and only correct outcome. Deeper, all pain in this world is the result of a being who falsely presumes their happiness is dependent upon something or someone outside of itself they cannot realistically control.
Happiness then can only come by way of letting go of our ideas of attachment. When one intellectually or emotionally attaches to an outcome, they have unknowingly pinched themselves off from freedom. By placing our happiness on outcomes, people, situations and experiences outside of ourselves, we cut ourselves off from the joy we think we were after in the first place.
You are reading this, but you may not be in control of the thoughts that are popping into your head as you read it. You may not even be aware that you have control over the thoughts that are showing up in your...
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