For a very long time, I was angry, frustrated, depressed, and resentful. As Melody Beattie once described, it was like the pendulum within me flew to the opposite side of people-pleasing.
Forgiving a narcissist or someone with high narcissistic traits is NOT an easy thing to do. And when you struggle with codependency, because you have a limited sense of autonomy, it is hard enough holding onto anger let alone any other emotion. Those of us who have begged narcissistic others for validation have been abused to our core. Once there is nothing left to give, anger becomes a liferaft.
By the time I figured out what was wrong was faulty programming that had lead to codependent behaviors and language patterns that were all unconscious, I was a mess. Barely holding on, I was like an infected big toe. If the wind blew, I hurt.
For years, I held onto anger and resentment and for a time, being able to connect with anger allowed me to defend myself from what seemed to be...
If you have suffered a 'mother wound' chances are you struggle with feeling alone, unworthy, and not good enough. When we feel separate from our caretakers, we can also feel separate from the self.
I hope this meditation can help soothe you back into alignment with your divine self.
All my love,
One of the blessings of being human is the fact that we have consciousness. Unlike animals, we have the ability to choose and to act upon our free will. Animals do not have free will. A horse cannot become a painter or violinist any more than a rose can choose to become a tulip. A tree is rooted in where its seeds have been planted. If ants wish to invade the tree, there is little the tree can do. And even a horse, if a man wishes to tame a horse and breaks its will to be free, he can. Man has dominion over the land and in the end, in spite of the horses wild and free nature, man can do what he wishes to the horse including killing it if he chooses to do so.
The human mind is not stuck inside its skull like the tree is rooted to the ground that supports it. Our mind is NOT like the horse, in that, ultimately there will be a force greater than our own that can control it. Although adult abuse survivors may feel they are being controlled by others, the truth is, it is only the belief...
It is vitally important that we as human beings take steps to consider how we feel.
Without asking ourselves how we feel, we can stay in unconscious states, repeat old patterns, get sick, and spend our lives managing chaos.
When it comes to narcissistic abuse, this is not always easy to spot. Narcissists are very convincing, in fact, they are incredibly convincing and totally believe they are right and all others who oppose them must be wrong.
If you are someone who questions themselves, lives with self-doubt, and suffers from low self-worth, it is incredibly easy to succumb to the abuse of a narcissist.
Many of us never realize we are in relationships with people with high narcissistic traits until it is too late. We are sick, dissociative, and sometimes even suicidal.
Thankfully many of us are waking up and seeing the signs before we hit the wall.
I hope this list can help you think more seriously about the energetic nature of your relationships.
Remember, no one has to change...
If you are here, chances are you are becoming aware that you may be suffering from codependency.
You may be here because you have suffered from narcissistic abuse and you want to learn how to stop attracting narcissistic abuse into your life.
Many of us come here wishing to breakthrough or to break free from a narcissist, and often we focus on the narcissistic behavior, while secretly wishing we could change the narcissist, as well as their behavior. This is a totally normal and human reaction, but it is not as healthy a thought process as it could be.
Until I woke up and healed from codependency, I was a magnet for narcissistic others. It wasn't until I was fully committed to healing my own thoughts, and I was ready to be humble enough to challenge my own intentions, that my world began to shift.
Being humble enough to look at one's self and one's own behavior takes courage. We must be willing to push through the programming from the past that has us feeling like we are not...
If you were unable to attend our live workshop call on Codependency and Boundary building, you can download this Mp3 now.
Codependency is rooted in a lack of self. When you are raised by people who fail to validate you psychologically, you are programmed to be detached from the self. Because you are stuck seeking your parents validation, and because you never received it, your adult life tends to become one of enmeshment. It seems you are on a never ending journey in search of acceptance, belonging and validation.
I created this workshop to help people learn 'how to' take back their personal power, so that they could begin defining their own boundary lines. Without a solid understanding of the self, it is impossible to be authentic in relationships and to protect oneself from emotional vampires. Because this is an attraction based universe, and because like attract likes, when you are a codependent who lacks a self--you can only attract a being who is incapable of seeing you as...