Codependency and Enabling

It is so wonderful to feel heard, loved, and respected. We all want it, but why are so many of us unable to achieve this amazing standard in our relationships?

If you come from a less than perfect childhood, you may have never felt understood and today, you may want more than anything to be heard. Unfortunately, many of us from imperfect homes tend to attract partners who are very similar to the people who wounded us. The brain prefers the familiar and the personality feels attracted to what it knows. This is great news if you came from an awesome home, but if not, it is time to up your consciousness.

If you are someone who tends to make excuses for bad behavior, or if you are someone who tends to have become desensitized to other people’s abuse, chances are you probably never felt heard in childhood. You may still be wanting and expecting the people you love to hear you.

If this sounds like you, it is time YOU start to see YOU!

Begin by taking an inventory of how often you...

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Adult Children of Alcoholics--Dysfunctional Homes--The Battle For a Soul

When a being decides they need to make adjustments in their life, they often do not realize that the adjustments they are seeking will require change. Many beings struggle with the idea of change--yet there is nothing that is--that is not in a constant state of flux.

When you are involved in a dysfunctional dynamic--growth--independence--accountability and self reliance are unwelcome notions. Dysfunctional dynamics generally follow certain invisible guidelines. Relationships that are unhealthy are dishonest. They are about power and control--which includes power and control over how others feel.

A client of mine was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. After talking in length about his family of origin, he revealed that while growing up--his father was totalitarian--and his mother was enabling. His father beat him routinely and made it crushingly obvious that he was disappointed with my client, as he did not wish to go into the family business. At family dinners my clients...

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Narcissism--Global Tyranny In Disguise

There are so many secrets for man to discover on his sacred journey through life. Perhaps the most illusive however, is the secret that is living right behind his eyes.

Man has been kept in the dark for generations, and perhaps even since the beginning of time. Although there are those who are awakened, and have transcended the dark energies within their emotional bodies, many are still blind to the greatness within. Man has coded within his DNA all the potential needed to create abundance, health, love, joy and well being, and yet only 1% of the world's population seems to know how to invoke this potential to its max.

Most beings are ladened with guilt, shame, sorrow, lack, and poor health. Many beings believe they need and deserve their states and governments to provide for them, which also means they do not believe they can or should provide for themselves. A mind that believes in entitlement may be unaware that in believing in entitlement he gives up his power to live the...

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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery--It's A Journey Not An Event

Anyone who has every been abused by a narcissist will tell you it is a maddening experience. First of all, narcissists can appear to be exactly what we have been looking for our entire lives. They can be charming, alluring, inquisitive, curious, gentle, kind, considerate, wise, capable, strong, independent, charismatic, and they can even appear to have empathy. Well, at least they can present with these wonderful characteristics when we first meet them. When you are dealing with a narcissist, you are dealing with a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type of a personality. They are wolves in sheep's clothing and just when you least expect it, their true agenda begins to surface.

Eventually, as a narcissist's true agenda begins to surface, you might be taken off guard by their sudden shift in demeanor, out of character insensitivity, passive aggressive comment, or blatant disregard for your feelings. Because they have spent so much time love bombing you and convincing you how truly amazed they...

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How To Heal From Codependency and Stop Attracting Narcissists

So often I am asked, "So Miss Lisa, how do I heal from codependency and stop attracting narcissistic people into my life?"

Its such a tough question to answer, primarily because most people really do not have a true grip on how deep an issue codependency really is.  I coach clients who have been in and out of traditional therapies for decades, who have said that not once did a psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist ever mention words like, enmeshment, codependency, or narcissism while they were being treated for anxiety, depression, bipoloar disorder, or BPD like symptoms. 

WTF???

I totally get it, because I saw at least three other therapists before I heard the term 'codependent', and I believe the only reason he shared that insight with me was because he was a recovering codependent himself.  And there you have it! Only a therapist who has successfully achieved emotional liberation from the enmeshing diseased thought process codependency is can spot it in...

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