What many people do not realize is that when you are emotionally abused as a child, patterns of relating to others--as well as to self are impacted in negative ways.
If you were emotionally abused as a child and treated with indifference, then you have been programmed to see self as a victim. The psychological term for this is called 'learned helplessness.'
Unfortunately those of us who were abused, tend to attract narcissistic type personalities.
It seems we emotionally abused children attract partners later on in life who fail to have the capacity to have empathy and or compassion for others. As adults we attract similar energy beings to our parents, as if we are seeking a matching glove to our childhood experiences.
Research with powerless dogs has indicated that when a being feels powerless to escape cruelty, the being will eventually 'give up' believing escape is possible. When this happens a mental switch is turned off, that disengages the mind from ever believing that choice...
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Codependents have been brainwashed to believe that their feelings, wants, needs, and desires do not count.
As children, many of us were taught to stuff our emotions. Rocking the boat pissed the adults in our lives off--so stuff we did.
What we could never have known then is, that all that stuffing of negative energy--actually caused energetic roots to grow from our root chakras--into the time and place where we were receiving those emotional injuries.
To compound the issue of traumatic roots, because this is a like attracting universe--our need for outer validation--attracts others who need to be able to control the mind and hearts of others for their own immature ego gratification.
Wounded codependents attract beings who have sadly learned to get their needs met through the conquering or the controlling of others. Codependents similarly get their immature needs met by catering to others.
These two equally immature mentally, emotionally and spiritual beings attract one...