Abandonment by narcissistic parents can create codependency later on in life for the child of a narcissist. Abandonment by a parent causes deep emotional wounds that can lead to a fear of abandonment and rejection.
Healing our abandonment issues begins with understanding why we fear abandonment in the first place. If you are the child of a narcissist, you were abandoned. This is not made up! You were actually abandoned emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Narcissistic parents project their own flaws onto their children cause great psychological abuse.
Narcissistic parents essentially teach us--their children, that who we are as individuals and souls are unimportant. Being born to narcissists means we have been born to people who are incapable of authentic love. This inability to connect on a heart level to our parents, makes us--the children feel and believe its all our fault. We are unlovable we falsely presume.
This one false premise changes EVERYTHING. It alters the...
I am not 'playing the victim' when I admit that as a child I was brainwashed to believe my emotions were irrelevant and that the more I tried to pretend I did not have feelings, the crazier, lonelier and more terrified I felt.
Far too often people who do not understand that in order to heal an emotion you must feel an emotion, judge those who are struggling to validate why they feel the way they do.
I have heard people tell others 'to suck it up -- get over the past -- stop whining -- it is time to put your adult panties back on' and so on.
While there is a seed of truth in what people like these are saying: we all need to eventually get to a place where we understand that the only person who can help us move past the past is us, shaming others for struggling to process experiences they were denied the right to experience is ignorant, judgmental, unnecessary, and just plain wrong.
Emotions motivate EVERY decision, thought, action, desire, word, and inactions we can experience.
If it was easy to have healthy balanced relationships, everyone we know would be doing it, including ourselves.
The reality is, people are human, most of them are asleep to some degree, and all of us have subconscious wounds we carry, whether we are aware of them or not. This means that when we meet someone, it is HIGHLY unrealistic to presume that they will never hurt our feelings, say something that will piss us off, or meet every one of our needs every time we have a need that needs to get met. It is just as unrealistic to presume we will not offend someone we care about, no matter how hard we try.
If we want to find relationships that work, then we have to start by being FAIR. We aren’t perfect and neither is anyone else. We don’t read minds and neither do most people we meet, although often, we expect people to know precisely what we need even if we don’t have a clue as to what that is.
If we have never felt loved, as adults, we may think that love should play...
Emotional abuse is invisible but it packs a punch to our nonphysical systems like our mental, emotional, and spiritual selves.
Abuse is defined as any action designed to cause another person harm.
Emotional abuse is used as a means to gain entry inside someone's mind. When an abuser has gained enough power over their victims, the abuser does not have to work as hard to gain control.
Learned helplessness is a state in which victims learn to believe there is no way out. Fighting back has proven futile and often, exasperated abuse.
Dark personalities push for the day when they have successfully nudged their victims over the learned helplessness finish line. Past this line, is an invisible dungeon where the mental bodies of the victim and the abuser live. No one else can see this dungeon which makes the abuse victim feel lost, forgotten, and powerless.
Hope is the golden milk abuse survivors need in order to peel off the shame, fear, and confusion caused by emotional abuse long enough to...
Human beings can go an entire lifetime, unaware that the thoughts that are flowing through our minds are all tied to what information, patterns, beliefs, and programs have been downloaded as a result of childhood experiences.
Childhood emotional neglect causes great trauma and many of us fail to recognize how being ignored, treated with indifference, and sometimes even with contempt, can cause us to become emotionally arrested without us even realizing this to be true.
Don't worry too much, if you avoid feeling YOUR emotions. We all do. It is normal to avoid pain and in fact, our brain was designed to avoid it. BUT--we are MAGNIFICENT HUMAN BEINGS and we are extensions of INFINITE INTELLIGENCE, so that means, we are CREATORS and we can change our BRAINS! We can face our pain, change our brain, AND create a new, healthier paradigm.
Codependents have been programmed to believe that what they feel, and what they need is unimportant. Childhood emotional neglect, as well as...
Codependents react to just about anything, everything, and anyone.
We are hypervigilant and live in fear of having our 'not good enough' nerve pounced on.
At our core, we feel abandoned, powerless, and as if we are broken. We have spent our lives trying to figure out how to fawn enough, shut up enough, do enough, cater enough, but nothing has offered us the feeling of love we have chased after.
We live on the edge and in fear of feeling further abandoned but we do not realize, in every interaction, and every time we react, we are recycling our initial abandonment.
As codependents we react to our emotions and the emotions of others; we react to what people do and don't do, and struggle to stay in our bodies, process our feelings and stay grounded in our own God Self Energy.
Our ego-mind has been in control for far too long, and only when we become disciplined enough to our inner self, can we hope to be less reactive to those things, people, situations and circumstances that brew outside...