Narcissists don't always know they are narcissists. We have to keep this in mind. A narcissist is like speaking to a tree. A tree is convinced its a tree. When we speak to a tree--we know that the tree believes it is a tree. But what if the tree wasn't really a tree. What if the tree was really a bush but the bush just thought it was a tree? What if because the bush was planted in a forest full of trees, the bush just assumed it was a tree too?
Narcissists assume they are kind, wonderful human beings. They are unaware they are not trees--they are NOT kind--they are not LOVING and instead they are self-absorbed and only exhibit kind and loving behaviors when it SUITS THEM. They are only able to appear to be kind and loving when doing so helps make THEM look good.
Have you ever had the experience of a mother, father, boyfriend, sister, brother, or friend who treated you like crap when no one was looking BUT when their was suddenly an audience the one abusing you in the dark could turn...
It is important to begin by saying that narcissists don't know they are narcissists. This is crucial to understand. As you begin to question your relationship you will undoubtedly begin questioning the narcissist, and when you do you'll need to be prepared.
1.) You are always wrong and they are always right. Narcissists rely on an idealized version of themselves to relate to the outside world. This fantasy version of themselves guards them from having to confront their own imperfections. Wounded to their core, narcissists rely on this idealized version as a form of protection. When you dare to suggest that a narcissist might be wrong, they don't back down. They are convinced you must be wrong and are unaware that a deeply ingrained, maladaptive defense mechanism is making it impossible for them to hear others. Making others wrong and rationalizing why others must be wrong, protects their fragile psyche from having to...
The blessing of being human is the fact that we have a consciousness. Unlike animals, we have the ability to choose and to act upon our free will. Animals do not have free will. A horse cannot become a painter or violinist anymore than a rose can choose to become a tulip. A tree is rooted to where its seeds have been planted. If ants wish to invade the tree, there is little the tree can do. And even a horse, if a man wishes to tame a horse and breaks its will to be free, he can. Man has dominion over the land and in the end, in spite of the horses wild and free nature, man can do what he wishes to the horse including killing it if he chooses to do so.
The human mind is not stuck inside its skull like the tree is rooted to the ground that supports it. Our mind is NOT like the horse, in that, ultimately there will be a force greater than our own that can control it. Although adult abuse survivors may feel they are being controlled by others, the truth is, it is only the belief...
When I was in my early thirties my sister in law passed away. She was 28 years old. A few years later, when I was 37, one of my best friends died suddenly, without warning. Each of these women left behind two small children.
The most amazing thing was, life went on. Each time I sat through the moments of processing these deaths, I felt as if the world should stop spinning, but it never did. Their kids woke up the next morning and had breakfast, played video games, and put on their socks. Their husbands eventually returned to work and the kids went back to school.
Many years later, the children of these young women have graduated college and have begun dating. Rarely do we speak of my sister in law and my dear friend anymore, although my home office has a number of pictures of my friend Cathy hanging on the walls. I think of them and their lives often. Their passings taught me to appreciate the fragility of life and sobered me up to the idea that our life here is limited. Both deaths...
We all have more than one side.
We are all conscious as well as unconscious.
We are all our current ages, but within us resides our two-year-old and seventeen-year-old selves as well. We are here and we are there. We are in the present, and yet within us we carry our pasts, all the while creating our future.
We all still carry within us our twelve-year-old self who struggles with knowing who we are, with feeling worthy, and who wonders 'what the hell the meaning of life is all about anyway.'
We are all our wounded egos as well as our divine self.
We all have talents and we all have flaws.
We have all had great successes as well as great failures.
We are all stuck in some ways and moving along in others.
We have all done good and we have all done bad.
We have all told the truth and we have all lied.
And perhaps the most profound contrasting truth of all is the fact that we are all living as well as dying right here and right now.
Now before you start feeling all depressed and crap, I...
If so you're not alone.
Many people are unaware as to why they do what they do. Most of us do not realize we are 95% unconscious and only 5% concsious and that almost all of what we think, both conscious and unconscious is negative.
We See What We Believe
Whatever you have been conditoned to believe about the self as a child, has now become the filter in which you perceive your self.
If any of this is true, you may not realize the subconscious paradigms these experiences have created within you.
The Good News
The good news is...
What we think--we do not think--we regurgitate--UNTIL we learn to think for ourselves.
The universe is magnificent and magical even. Walt Disney was right.
"When you wish upon a star anything you dream can come to you" BUT only IF you are in total vibrational alignment and agreement with what you are wishing for.
Please enjoy this video that can help demystify 'what codependency is'.
Many of us do not feel seen. We do not feel like we are enough. We do not feel like we are visible to others and that is NOT our fault.
Were you raised by;
Were you brainwashed to believe;
If so you are not alone.
Please enjoy this video I created back in 2013 that helps explain what codependency is, and why it is, we can become codependent.
And if you are interested in joining me for my next 12 Week Breakthrough Group, you can...
If you can figure out why you feel attracted to a narcissist, then you can figure out to stop feeling attracted to a narcissist.
Yep, it's true!
For years I chased after the approval of my ex husband and even when I was a single women, I still attracted narcissistic men.
Until I broke the CODENDENT CODE.
I AM ENOUGH--I ALWAYS WAS ENOUGH--IT WASN'T ME--IT WAS MY PROGRAMMING.
The REAL me didn't want to be attracted to a narcissist.
The REAL me didn't want to suffer from narcissistic abuse.
The REAL me didn't want to feel addicted to someone who was cruel, vindictive, manipulative, condescending, and suffered from a distorted and superior view of himself.
NO, the real me wanted to be loved and the real me also wanted TO love.
I so hope you enjoy this video I created to help inspire...
All children assume blame and responsibility for how they are treated as children.
Our simple brains trick us into forgetting what it was like when we were small. Our brains are designed to keep us in the here and the now. We focus on the minutia of the current day and rarely take the time to remember how we felt when we were small, powerless, and unable to speak up for ourselves.
Now is an illusion. Now is a blend of every moment and breath of our yesterdays. The future is an illusion too unless you can awaken and begin to understand that how your mind operates today is the result of what happened to you when you were the most impressionable.
When children are being abused, they don't think, "Wow, my parents are out of control here. Mom is drinking again and dad is full of rage because...