The truth sets us free but that does not mean it is easy to look at, pull apart, process, respect, work through, or heal from.
I was raised by an ex-Marine who struggled with his emotions who ingrained my siblings and I to believe crying was a form of weakness. Whether this had anything to do with his own perception of being a 'Tough Marine' or not, the ideas he brainwashed into my siblings and I have had devastating and lifelong consequences.
My father refused to ever allow himself to feel vulnerable and raw. He feared to expose himself and his true emotions because he was afraid of being seen as weak. Feeling vulnerable as an adult male hit too close to his pocket of pain and shame, the one that nearly consumed him when he was about 3 or 4 years old.
My father's mother committed suicide when he was just a young child. His father was a raging alcoholic who hid his emotions by drowning them out with six packs of beer. My father had no healthy male role models. And so, because this...
One of the emotions many codependents rely on to help us feel less powerless is resentment.
When we are angry at someone who has not done what we think they should have, and often when our own abandonment traumas have been triggered, our minds can rear off into the land of punishment and vindictiveness. The more VALUE we have placed on someone or on the relationship, the more RESENTFUL we are when that person does not behave the way we think they should have.
But here is the problem…resentment and vindictiveness keeps us stuck and repeating patterns of thought that reinforce our feelings of victimhood. While we are lashing out, we are essentially telling the universe that this other person hurt us and we are pissed off because we have been victimized in some way.
In a nutshell, we are telling the universe—“I AM A VICTIM—see how angry I am—see how pissed off I am—see how much power this person has over me—I have NO power myself—I have...
If you are feeling resistance anywhere in life, you may want to have your Higher Self have a little talk with your EGO.
If you have someone you are angry at, you may not realize you might be stuck in EGO.
Ego is a defensive state and when we are in this mindset we are stuck in the past. The Ego is non-creative and unless we expand our minds, we are doomed to repeat the cycles of our past.
Many of us are addicted to something, whether that is a relationship, Facebook, Instagram, television, food, anger, sex, shopping, alcohol, drugs, or our phones.
Many of us are running away from an emptiness we cannot name and in the busying ourselves with OUTSIDE things, we get to evade the pang of that emptiness.
Hence, why so many of us are codependent.
When we are in relationships that are unhealthy, we may not realize how the dynamics help us avoid something much deeper. When we are in painful relationships, we often fail to acknowledge the addictive cycle that emerges and how that cycle serves our brain's need to avoid pain.
Staying in unhealthy relationships allows us to avoid the pain of our own abandonment trauma and the debilitating shame that accompanies that trauma. The more chaotic the relationship, the less time or need we have to go within.
When we are trying to kick any addiction, we must acknowledge that doing so will present us with a tremendous feeling of LOSS....
ALL children are conditioned and programmed to believe the thoughts that show up in their very limited minds.
And that is okay.
ALL parents are imperfect. ALL parents make mistakes. ALL parents get angry from time to time. ALL parents say the wrong things, get frustrated, misunderstand, get tired, meltdown, and wish they could do better.
It is better to admit we are imperfect than try to convince the world we are perfect.
It is better to admit we have shortcomings than to spend our lives lying and pretending our lives are as perfect as our Facebook Selfies appear.
It is better to admit to ourselves that we make mistakes and screw up really, really bad sometimes than it is to berate ourselves for NOT being perfect.
It is better to admit to our children we are learning as we go and that we will be short sided sometimes and apologize when we hurt them than it is to make them feel guilty because we screwed up.
It is better to admit to the ex that we know we are not perfect than it is...
The truth is you are enough BUT emotionally unintelligent, abusive, self-absorbed, immature parents may have conditioned you to believe you are not enough.
Maybe it was the way they made everything about them, or maybe it was the way they judged you, ignored you, criticized you, argued in front of you, abused one another, your siblings, or you.
Whether neglect is overt or covert, on purpose or is the byproduct of ignorance or unconsciousness, the effects are the same.
We grow up detached from a healthy sense of self and believe we are not good enough.
The reality is, it is very simple to traumatize a child and program them to believe they are not enough. As adults, this one lie becomes the blueprint we build our lives upon. When we go for interviews, on dates, meet new people or go to a party, in the back of our minds we feel not good enough.
This shame is so intense, we set out to unconsciously squash it by pretending to others that we are happy, content and that our lives are...
Namaste Dear Ones!
I wanted to make sure you all knew how precious you all are and how thankful, grateful, humbled and honored I am to know you have come this far with your recovery. There is nothing more important than your PEACE of MIND and your confidence in your SELF. When you know that what was wrong and what held you back had NOTHING to do with your personal worth, it is easier to dis-identify with the faulty programming that once held you back, and learn to love the SELF.
This is YOUR life and it is up to YOU to take your thoughts, intentions, emotions, actions, dreams, desires and beliefs seriously. Even if people laugh, taunt, scorn, or walk away from you, KEEP believing in the FACT that you were born to CREATE and MANIFEST ABUNDANCE.
You can't make a horse drink water, no matter how close to death from dehydration, any more than you can convince someone who believes they are unworthy that they are extensions of DIVINE and INFINITE INTELLIGENCE and that they are POWERFUL...
The greatest gift is peace but we cannot experience peace if we seek chaos.
To experience peace and love we must become peace and love first.
To have a strong mind means we must let go of that which weakens our ability to stand in strength.
Here is a hint, dank vibrations weaken our energetic field, our spirits, our bodies, and our minds.
Only LIGHT and LOVE can strengthen our minds, bodies, spirits, and lives.
If you want a strong and peaceful mind, OBSERVE your thoughts and weed out ANY and ALL intentions, thoughts, or emotions that are the opposite of PEACE.
This is NOT easy to do. It takes warrior-like strength to learn to OBSERVE the mind and TAME it like one trains a ferocious and hungry LION.
BUT, if we do not TAME the mind, the OLD MIND and all of its fears, insecurities, worries, and defensive behaviors will control our lives, and because we are more unconscious than we are conscious, we will NOT be aware we have GIVEN UP our POWER to something that is done and dead.
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men” - Frederick Douglass
Could the chronic illnesses that people face in their adult lives be blamed on the trauma they had to face as children? According to a study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine titled ‘Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults’, the answer is yes.
This study showed through scientific testing that abuse or neglect during childhood plays a big role in the development of autoimmune and other chronic diseases. This study was also important as it introduced ACE score, a measure of illnesses caused later in life by ACE (Adverse Childhood Events).
Children’s brain is still developing as they grow. If they are exposed to repeated traumatic experiences, it can weaken the development of their brain’s architecture and cause lifelong physical, mental and behavioral issues.
So if you suffer...
Self-love requires a certain level of maturity, logic and reason. In a world full of superficiality, materialism, and illusions, it can be all too easy to fall prey to emotionality.
We have come to EVOLVE our CONSCIOUSNESS and when we approach the concept of self-love from the realm of LOGIC and REASON, it is EASY to see that loving the self just makes SENSE! And in fact, when we stand on the plane of logic and reason, we can see that NOT loving the self makes ZERO sense.
When we love the self, we are acting MATURELY. We are no longer acting like powerless children who need permission to take a bath, read a book, or to have a spinach salad. When we love the self, we are acting like the grown ass adults we are and are no longer moving about through life thinking we have to put up with someone else’s abuse, nonsense, lies, minimizing, shaming, gambling, drinking, cheating and alike.
If ALL people everywhere loved the self—there would be PEACE on earth....