Codependency recovery relies on one's ability and willingness to see one's self as wounded, imperfect, flawed and unwell. Considering that codependency is rooted in shame, guilt, abandonment, feelings of unworthiness and utter powerlessness, healing from codependency is a monumental task.
I never saw myself as codependent because unlike my mother who would acquiesce to my more narcissistic father, I had a big mouth. I was verbal about what I thought was wrong in my relationship with my ex-husband and I did not back down from confrontation. In fact, I welcomed the hearty discussions regarding our relationship.
On the surface, no one would have guessed how powerless, insecure, frightened, lonely, depressed, unworthy, and anxious I felt. My house looked perfect. My kids looked perfect. My relationship looked perfect. Our business looked perfect and never did I dare tell anyone just what a sham my entire life was, or at least what it felt like to me.
In spite of the incredible...
Self-care is one of the greatest keys to emotional health. The more you care for your teeth, the stronger your teeth will be. This seems like common sense, so why do so many of us naturally ignore the self?
We are a society of unconscious minds who have been programmed to gain bonds and form attachments to other unconscious others.
Many of us have been indoctrinated to...
Many of us were not born to self-actualized mothers. Some of us had mothers who raged, belittled, and emotionally abused us. Some of us had physically abusive mothers who perhaps were even jealous of us, our friends or boyfriends. Whatever your specific experience, not feeling loved by a mother can be akin to death.
Whether you are male or female, feeling discarded by the very creature that created you causes disruptions both emotionally, physically, psychologically, neurologically, and socially.
How can a being who feels rejected by the very essence that created them ever feel they are worthy of love?
If you have suffered a ‘mother wound’ it is not too late to correct the messages that have been downloaded in the subconscious mind. Commit yourself to rewiring those faulty messages no matter how long it takes to reclaim your mind, body, and soul. NEVER GIVE UP re-mothering yourself Dear One. This is your BIRTHRIGHT but YOU must CLAIM IT!
Repeat to yourself often;
I get it.
It's hard to describe what a strawberry milkshake tastes like unless you've experienced strawberries.
True love feels like looking out your kitchen window at 7 am to see your beloved digging into potting soil and planting flowers you love to surprise you and because he'd rather his hands get dirty than yours.
Imagine feeling seen that way.
True love feels like compassion. It feels safe. It feels like you know someone has your back. It feels like a partnership.
It does not feel abrasive, frightening, rigid, inflexible, like a power-play, domineering, minimizing, or condescending.
Love feels patient, even when you are in the wrong--your partner does not seek your...
It is not morbid to contemplate one’s mortality.
It is humbling and only the humble shall be free.
When you are humbled by your transitory existence, and you respect the natural laws that govern this 3D space, you grow less desiring of wasting your precious breath on people, thoughts, and actions that are in opposition to life which is expansion.
Draw ALL of your spiritual juices from problems, people, beliefs, conversations, and alike from ANY situation that is in opposition to LIFE.
Forgive because if you do not, negative energy causes a lag in your spiritual, mental, and emotional expansion. This is the opposite of what you are, which is LIFE itself. Make decisions as you must but immediately following the choices that must be made, once again, draw your attention from any false power you have given to things outside of you and focus on a sense of thanksgiving, imaging your life expanding in all directions.
For ions, the world has been living below the veil of...
If people looked more like animals, it would be easy to know who to avoid.
If manipulative, abusive, narcissistic people looked like lions, tigers or bears, most of us would avoid them. But, abusive people look like regular people and many narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths are wonderfully charming when we first meet them.
Many of the most damaging people out there are the ones who don’t look like evil people. Many are wolves in sheep's clothing whose energy feels more like carbon monoxide than clean air. The abuse they cause is invisible and debilitating. We don't know we are dealing with lions or wolves because we cannot see them clawing at our hearts or gnawing at our skin. The ick we feel is internal and sadly, manipulative people are so good at convincing you that YOU are the problem, it can take a lifetime to understand the ick is really not you--and it is a symptom of living with someone who sees others as toys they use to entertain their egos,...
It is vitally important that we as human beings take steps to consider how we feel.
Without asking ourselves how we feel, we can stay in unconscious states, repeat old patterns, get sick, and spend our lives managing chaos.
When it comes to narcissistic abuse, this is not always easy to spot. Narcissists are very convincing, in fact, they are incredibly convincing and totally believe they are right and all others who oppose them must be wrong.
If you are someone who questions themselves, lives with self-doubt, and suffers from low self-worth, it is incredibly easy to succumb to the abuse of a narcissist.
Many of us never realize we are in relationships with people with high narcissistic traits until it is too late. We are sick, dissociative, and sometimes even suicidal.
Thankfully many of us are waking up and seeing the signs before we hit the wall.
I hope this list can help you think more seriously about the energetic nature of your relationships.
Remember, no one has to change...
Complex PTSD is a symptom of traumatic events we were powerless to control. Our brains and minds work in tandem to keep us safe and when there is trauma, our brains record the sensory information experienced during past traumas for future recall.
So that we can avoid painful traumatic events in the future.
Our fight or flight response system gets tripped--or triggered when we experience a trigger in the NOW. As if the past traumatic event is happening at the moment, our bodies FEEL as if the past event is literally happening all over again.
Ego will rely on various defense mechanisms to deal with the emotions that surface. The more we understand how CPTSD works and the many ways in which our egos have been doing their best to protect us based on any current level of self-awareness we may have, the greater chances we have at learning to manage and even regulate our symptoms.
This is not our fault--this can be debilitating--this can be overwhelming--this can interrupt our...
The HARDEST thing to do in life is to learn how to LOVE YOUR SELF!!!!
It is easy to love others because we don't know all of their flaws--like we know our own.
It is easy to love others--because it is easy to fantasize about the idea that someone else is totally freaking awesome--because we are not aware of their shadow side.
It is hard to love the self--because we know what our flaws are. We know what we look and smell like at 4 am. We know the way food gets stuck in our teeth. We know our hair and skin are thinning. We know we have cellulite and spider veins. We know our sisters, brother, mothers, fathers, and spouses have crappy opinions of us. We know we aren't always good with money. We know we sometimes scratch our asses and do the kinds of things that are socially unacceptable, like release a fart in public when no one is around. I mean come on--if you have ever farted in public you know the one you love has too. It's time to just get REAL!
Our brains are NOT...
Sometimes taking care of the self means we have to let go of relationships that are causing us harm, pain, frustration, and spiritual inflammation.
Codependents are dependent on people. We seek validation, acceptance, and permission to feel what we feel and think about what we think. Even when we are 'feeling' and 'believing' we should end a friendship or some other type of a relationship like a marriage or business agreement, we struggle with believing we have a right to do so. Even when we get angry, we look to the one who has pushed our buttons for permission to feel upset.
When it comes to letting go, it helps to consciously accept that none of us ever let go because we want to. Letting go is always painful. We always doubt ourselves and we are never happy about doing so. We let go because the person we trusted has acted in a way that has caused us to understand that the trust we once had is gone. We let go because we understand, that the person we care for does not value who...