Learning how NOT to react to your emotions, or the emotions of others

We all have a miraculous internal guidance system, although many of us have been taught NOT to trust it.

Abused adult children do not always realize how reactive their thinking is or how impulsive their actions can be. For this reason, making sure we ‘think’ before we speak and or ‘do’, is critical.

The amygdala is all about REACTIVITY, anger, survival, fear, abandonment, rejection and shame. Without even thinking, abused adult children can be emotionally triggered and say and do things they would not have done had they known how to or desired to RELAX, MEDITATE, and CONNECT with their HIGHER SELF before reacting to something in their environment.

Think of how many times you have said ‘yes’ when you have meant ‘no’ or how many times you have lashed out, when in hindsight, you had wished you had spoken with LOVE instead of fear, anger, resentment, or shame.

The GREAT NEWS is, we can learn to STOP, LISTEN, THINK, PAUSE, REGROUP, and SOOTHE...

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You Can't Fix A Hole In The Wall You Can't See

If your needs were not met as a child, and if how you felt went ignored, you have been taught and conditioned to ignore your own needs.

This is not an attack on parents.

This is simply a wake-up call to look within, listen to your inner self, and understand why you do what you do and why you don't do what you should do.

You can't fix a hole in the wall you can't see.

If you have no 'data' for how to honor your emotions, you will need to develop the ability to do so.

It is time to stop seeking external validation and to begin honoring the inner child who has had their eyes fixated on outer things they cannot control.

Shine your light on that inner YOU!

Love the inner YOU!

No matter who has been unable for any reason, to not meet your emotional needs, give you the LOVE you seek!

It is never too late to LOVE your INNER-SACRED--ENOUGH--YOU!

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Having emotions are normal and valid. Learning to Master Your Emotions is priceless.

I am not 'playing the victim' when I admit that as a child I was brainwashed to believe my emotions were irrelevant and that the more I tried to pretend I did not have feelings, the crazier, lonelier and more terrified I felt.

Far too often people who do not understand that in order to heal an emotion you must feel an emotion, judge those who are struggling to validate why they feel the way they do.

I have heard people tell others 'to suck it up -- get over the past -- stop whining -- it is time to put your adult panties back on' and so on.

While there is a seed of truth in what people like these are saying: we all need to eventually get to a place where we understand that the only person who can help us move past the past is us, shaming others for struggling to process experiences they were denied the right to experience is ignorant, judgmental, unnecessary, and just plain wrong.

Emotions motivate EVERY decision, thought, action, desire, word, and inactions we can experience.

When...

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Emotions as Divine Guidance

Emotions are miraculous. Designed to be one's internal guidance system, often times, however, our emotions get toyed with by others. If we were children who were raised in homes by alcoholics, unrecovered adult children of alcoholics, narcissistic, and or abusive others, chances are our emotions were considered inconvenient things. As a result, many of us walk through life feeling screwy, discombobulated, and full of self-doubt. These miraculous things called emotions, we do not trust; we loathe instead.
 
Most programming and conditioning of the subconscious mind occurs when the brain of the being is young, innocent and most impressionable. When a child's needs are consistently frustrated by an emotionally unavailable or self-absorbed caretaker, the negative emotions the child 'feels' imprints the subconscious mind with negative perceptions of Self. Because the child is unable to cognitively comprehend that their parent is infested by a soul-eating disease like...
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Nature vs Nurture

The older I get the more humble I become, and the more I appreciate the saying, "Youth is wasted on the young."

The decades I spent chasing, begging, reacting, and pleading to be heard, understood, respected, held, nurtured, and loved are all gone.

The only thing ANY of us have that is worth worrying about is our TIME.

Time is the ONLY thing you can NEVER get back.

It is not our fault we are born asleep.

It is not our fault our mind is dualistic and both conscious and unconscious at the same time.

It is not our fault that NURTURE is primarily responsible for what beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors drive our lives.

It is not our fault our brain is designed to RECALL and REMEMBER pain.

It is not our fault we have been raised by people who are under the organic and natural spell of the wounded ego.

BUT--if we are to PUSH humanity forward, it is our responsibility to AWAKEN to the truth and then do all we can to LIVE that truth--in spite of those who still believe in the lie.

WE ARE...

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Childhood Trauma and Memory Loss

Many adult survivors of traumatic abuse and experiences suffer from memory loss. Although many trauma survivors are able to remember how they felt when they were children, they do not always remember why they felt or feel the way they do today. They may feel like they were abused, but they might not remember precisely why they feel that way.

It is my belief that the more we understand our brains and how they work, the quicker we are able to heal. Not knowing 'the why' drives most human beings crazy. This is because the brain likes resolution and it seems our minds are willing to drive themselves crazy looking for answers. At times our brains will even make up stories to fit what is happening in our lives just to help us 'feel' more in control of what is happening in the now. This is why children assume they are at fault when mommy and daddy abuse them. When the child assumes responsibility for the abuse, the traumatic events make sense to the child's innocent mind. "Mommy beat me...

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