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When Mothers Fail

When Mother's Fail

A child's first protector is its mother and when a mother fails to protect her child from other's abuse and in turn becomes a perpetrator, her child will suffer the greatest human tragedy. The wounds will be invisible. No one will understand the ingredients that make up the child's tears. No one will fathom the heaviness of the child's vibration, and yet, when the child cries or acts out, others will assume what is wrong is the child.

Abuse happens in bedrooms, kitchens, living rooms, and basements when the front doors are locked and the house windows are closed. Family and friends, school personnel and even authorities often dismiss the possibility of abuse, denying their own ignorance and justifying their disbelief based on a subconscious conflict. Often people dismiss abuse as a reality because THEY have not witnessed the abuse, although logical minds understand abuse happens when there are no witnesses to be found.

When mothers fail, every system of a...

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Until we face our inner wounds, we stay stuck

Wounded daughters often enmesh with their mothers and fail to acknowledge the deep painful consequences a mother’s abandonment and rejection can cause.
This inability to acknowledge the wounds within, keeps daughters codependent, enabling, rescuing, fixing, and denying the need to stop catering to dysfunctional mothers who have failed to heal themselves, or who refuse to acknowledge their own need for healing.
Every son and every daughter needs to make the psychological and emotional break, that frees them of the fear of their mother’s abandonment.
Until we face our inner wounds, we stay stuck, codependent and rescuing mothers that have failed to rescue us. This dynamic keeps us in the rescuer role, parentified, and unable to create the distance we need in order to successfully learn to love the self.
Enmeshment is where we lose ourselves to fantasies about one day finally being able to be 'good enough' for the type of mother love we always craved.
As we grow in...
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Codependents are wounded and suffer from abandonment

Codependents are wounded and suffer from abandonment. We do not feel good enough and find ourselves tirelessly attending to the needs of others.
We do this to help us avoid our internal shame.

We do this in the hopes of gaining approval.

We do this to avoid feeling our own anxiety.

We do this to flee from our internal reality.

As children, we loved until it hurt only to discover no matter how deep we loved, it was not enough to gain the connections we needed.

Perhaps our parents were impossible to please.

Perhaps they were aloof.

Perhaps our parents were lost inside their own drama and trauma.

Perhaps our parents were immature.

Perhaps our parents were narcissistic.

Perhaps our parents were abusive.

Perhaps our parents were perfectionists.

Whatever the case, if you grew up feeling invisible chances are codependency has found its way into your thinking process and that is NOT your fault.
As we heal, Amy the amygdala learns to relax.

As we heal, the more logical parts of our brain come back online.
...

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Childhood Trauma & Attachments

It is not uncommon for abused adult children to put someone they know on a pedestal. Often those of us who have experienced childhood trauma, attach ourselves to best friends, people, lovers, spouses, and alike, and place all our dreams upon these ‘others.’ On some level, we are escaping the abyss our abandonment trauma has left in its wake by making someone else or something our external higher power. This friend, we think, shall help us avoid the pain we know lurks within our soul. We become ATTACHED and live in FEAR that the relationship one day may possibly end, although we may never consciously acknowledge that this is true.

This type of codependency only reinforces our lack of self-love. Whenever we make someone else our god, savior or rescuer, we are turning away from the DIVINE SOURCE within us. When we ATTACH to someone outside of us, in an attempt to avoid our abandonment trauma, we unknowingly place unrealistic expectations upon them. We unconsciously wish for...

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Mother Wound Meditation

 

If you have suffered a 'mother wound' chances are you struggle with feeling alone, unworthy, and not good enough.  When we feel separate from our caretakers, we can also feel separate from the self. 

I hope this meditation can help soothe you back into alignment with your divine self. 

All my love, 

Lisa 

 

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Family Today With Maria Mirkovich

On February 2nd, 2017 please tune in to watch Lisa A. Romano and Maria Mirkovich as they discuss how dysfunctional childhood programming brainwashes children to become adults who suffer from low self-worth and a lack of identity. Family Today with Lisa A. Romano will air at 7 pm est. on channel 34 (FIOS) and channel 81 (Time Warner Cable now called Spectrum). A special thank you to Maria Mirkovich and her assistant Gina who made my visit to the network very enjoyable. I felt extremely welcomed.

Here is a link to the show.

https://youtu.be/dGLNM2aZlZw

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