If you have found yourself reading this article, then more than likely you are struggling with possibly identifying with issues associated with your perception of what it is to be codependent or what codependency is.
If you are like I was when I first began toying with the idea that maybe 'I had a problem--since I was the common denominator' at the root of all my dysfunctional relationships, I was overwhelmed by the information I found. What confused me the most was, my parents were not addicts or alcoholics. I remember thinking, 'Codependency is for people who are in love with drug addicts--or who were raised by drug addicts--and neither my parents nor my spouse at the time drank or did drugs-so how can I possibly be codependent?'
This was my greatest stumbling block, and had I understood what codependency really was I would not have wasted so much time denying that I possibly could actually be codependent.
Okay--enough belly aching...
If you were raised by an alcoholic, then you were failed.
YOU DID NOT FAIL; your alcoholic failed you.
If your father was an alcoholic--and your mother enabled him--and taught you to tone yourself down for the sake of NOT rocking the boat--then YOU were denied the connection to Warrior Self you deserved.
It must be understood and accepted by the conscious and unconscious mind. To read these above statements and to just contemplate them for one second or two--will not be enough to counter the millions of imprinted pieces of negative data that have been inputed into your subconscious mind since your birth--and quite possibly--while even in utero.
If you are the adult child of an alcoholic--you have quite literally been programmed to think in self defeating ways.
What you observe in childhood good or bad, healthy or not gets imprinted upon a child's innocent, and 'in the state of learning' blank brain.
Whatever the child experiences in childhood--and especially...
This information was taken from an amazing source called Realistic Recovery.
I am not sure who the copyright owner of this Bill of Rights is--but I am going ahead and reposting it anyway to help encourage all of my readers out there--to OWN YOUR RIGHT to BE WHO YOU ARE--THE MAGNIFICENT SELF THAT YOU ARE!
To ALL Adult Children Everywhere--I bless you--I honor you--I feel you--I hear you!
Your road is a lonely one.
The abuse you have tolerated in the dark moments of your life--have left scars that are invisible to the physical eye--yet you are scarred--bruised and battered nonetheless.
Born to beings who were supposed to nurture you--adore you--and support you--instead--you have been brainwashed, manipulated, beaten, criticized, shamed, guilted, humiliated, and worse--DENIED the right to feel or own any of the suffering that was created while being abused...WTF?
Forced to live in a state of disassociation--as a means to simply survive horrific childhood experiences--adult children of alcoholics are beaten in one moment--and then expected to 'act as if' the beating never occurred.
Adding maggots to the equation--adult children are often manipulated to live their lives not only denying their personal suffering--but they too--are forced to 'act as if' mom and dad are the most wonderful...
Tired of struggling? Tired of doing the same things over and over without any real result?
Then you must read--Quantum Tools To Help You Heal Your Life NOW!
If you are an abused adult child of an alcoholic--or if you are an adult child who has come from a dysfunctional family--you may be aware of how your family of origin has impacted your life in a negative way.
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In this groundbreaking book, Lisa A. Romano pulls it all together. Combing no nonsense ACoA recovery with ancient knowledge and quantum science.
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Dear Adult Child of an Alcoholic,
Come sit beside me and rest your weary heart.
Gather all of your brothers and sisters who have had their tender hearts beaten by the earth beings who were intended to support your growth spiritually, intellectually and physically.
Open your hearts dear one and heed the vibrations of these words. Allow, allow, allow them to penetrate through the deep layers of scars that have left you feeling separate and alien even unto your own Self.
I know, I know, I know how hard your life has been.
I know, I know, I know how often you have tried to please them.
I know, I know, I know how good you are inside. I see it, I feel it--you dear one are a tired soul.
You could have never known that the people who were supposed to nurture you--were ill themselves--and detached from their own divine magnificence.
It is not your fault that the beings who were supposed to adore you, shelter you, protect you, and feed your soul were beings who were starved...
If you are the adult child of an alcoholic, there is no doubt you have suffered trauma in your life. More than likely you may even be suffering from some form of post traumatic stress disorder. When events occur in the Now, that remind you of a traumatic event from your past, it is all too easy to be pulled back into a negative spiral.
Perhaps before your father beat your mother, he would have a glass of Scotch on the rocks. Today you might tense up every time you hear ice cubes clang against the sides of a glass. You might feel anxious every time you are at dinner and you hear someone order Scotch on the rocks. And if you are experiencing any signs of angst under these circumstances, relax; you're normal.
That's right dear one...YOU ARE NORMAL!
In fact, your response is absolutely appropriate given your unique circumstances.
Your brain is so highly sophisticated that it has the ability to recall all circumstances, sounds and etc, that occur before a traumatic event occurs.