My life was on the verge of collapse when I walked into my therapist's office for the first time looking for help. My mind had become a knotted ball, and my life was a matted mess. With every fiber of my being I hoped that this man could help me make some sense out of what my life had become. By the end of that first therapy session I had learned that I was clinically depressed, but that my depression was caused by codependency. Being raised by two unrecovered adult children of alcoholics, was akin to being raised by alcoholics. At the time all these ideas were new to me, and I had no frame of reference to fit them into. I was simply a young, mother of three small children who hated her children's father, who believed she had no right to feel what she felt. For years I had stuffed my feelings, and learned to deny my reality for the sake of others. I had spent the better part of thirteen years trying to get my first husband to talk to me, so we could get on the same page in our...
For anyone who is struggling with codependency, you know all too well how difficult it is to walk away from a relationship, even when the relationship is toxic. Codependents have been conditioned to unconsciously fear being alone, and will often times do just about anything to maintain even the most horrendous of relationships. An insidious aspect of many dysfunctional codependent relationships occurs when covert abuse is at play. Ever have a partner call you a filthy name and then turn around in the next moment and ask you what movie you would like to go see? When codependents are treated poorly one minute and then kindly the next, the ability to hold onto any anger about being treated poorly is cancelled out.
This type of abuse messes with our ability to hold onto our own realities. Because we are adult children who have been taught to question our internal realities since we were children, when this type of covert abuse happens in our dynamics as adults, it is very easy for us to...
I want to thank one of the members of my 12 Week Breakthrough Codependency Coaching Program for giving me such a great topic to write about. It seems she is concerned that because she is 'afraid of men', that perhaps she will never attract the kind of man she truly desires. I wanted to expand on this topic because it is so relevant, especially to wounded adult children who have been abused in childhood.
If you have been conditioned to fear feeling vulnerable because as a child your vulnerability and powerlessness was exploited, it is very natural for you to fear getting too close to the opposite sex. As an adult female, if you are finding it particularly difficult to feel comfortable around men, and you have been emotionally, sexually or physically abused in childhood, your brain is simply trying to protect you from getting hurt again today.
The brain is highly sophisticated, but it is also very simple. The pain vs. pleasure reflex is always operating, and its...
Hi Dear Ones!
On February 25th, 2017 I will be hosting a live workshop and brunch in Long Island, New York. I will also be doing live coaching for brave volunteers. Any questions you have, I will be answering and helping you to understand.
If you are interested in learning more about childhood programming, and how when we were children we were programmed to deny the self, this workshop is for you.
If you are interested in being surrounded by those who understand your language as well as your pain, this will be a great opportunity to surround yourself with amazing like minded others.
You may register for this workshop by securing your seat through Paypal.
East Wind Resort
Wading River, Long Island, New York
11 am-3 pm EST.
Ample parking is available.
Bring your questions as well as your appetite.
No alcohol will be served at this event.
To purchase through Eventbrite
On February 2nd, 2017 please tune in to watch Lisa A. Romano and Maria Mirkovich as they discuss how dysfunctional childhood programming brainwashes children to become adults who suffer from low self-worth and a lack of identity. Family Today with Lisa A. Romano will air at 7 pm est. on channel 34 (FIOS) and channel 81 (Time Warner Cable now called Spectrum). A special thank you to Maria Mirkovich and her assistant Gina who made my visit to the network very enjoyable. I felt extremely welcomed.
Here is a link to the show.
I am very excited to announce that registration has begun for the next Breakthrough Coaching Class.
If you are ready to dig deep and uncover the wounds, ideas, beliefs, and programs that are keeping you stuck, then this program is for you!
The 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program is essentially my personal blueprint out of the hell a codependent mind can become. It is not your fault if you come from a less than perfect home and you have developed coping skills that have become ingrained in your subconscious mind that no longer serve you. If you had to live in a state of survival as a child, that is not your fault, but unfortunately, unless you actively decide to change the patterns that have developed within you as a result, you will sadly be doomed to repeat your past.
It's not you-it's your programming Dear One. You have been conditioned to fear feeling your feelings and remarkably the only way to live an amazing life is to learn how to 'feel your feelings'. Healing fully, implies...
So many of us have been taught to believe we are not good enough. For some, the emotion of fear may have been triggered early on and quite possibly even in utero. The limbic brain is wired to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. Anything that causes a growing fetus to experience a threat to harmony and peace will be registered as pain. Humans are being downloaded long before we are able to walk. Unfortunately, because so many people do not appreciate the experiences of children as valid; believing that what children cannot remember doesn't count, we are a world of wounded adults who are stuck in states of fight or flight who may not even realize it.
Compounding societal ignorance is the fact that ALL human beings are born asleep. We are not born aware. We are born with brainwave states that equal the dream state of consciousness. We do not have the ability to think critically as children. All that happens to us in our outer world becomes downloaded into our growing and impressionable...
On the road to recovery, many of us undoubtedly end up asking ourselves, "What's this all about anyway? Why the hell have I been born? Why the heck is there so much human suffering? I mean, what's the point of being born?"
As I began to become more aware of what was really happening in my life and I understood that for many years I was simply asleep, I found myself recycling back to the question, "Why are we all here?" It seemed the more conscious I became the more deeply I needed to understand the divine purpose for human creation at it's core.
Eventually I came to understand that human life is about evolution, but not the kind of evolution that includes growing an extra finger to help us be able to type more quickly on our laptops or smart phones. I am talking about the evolution of consciousness that includes a human beings ability to overcome their own human suffering that allows them to ascend to higher states of divinity while still having consciousness be embodied in the...
I wanted to share my live interview with Donna Drake. She is the talks how host of Live It Up Live. I hope you enjoy it Dear Ones!
For many on the spiritual path, it is just a matter of time before we happen upon the law of attraction. It seems inevitable for those of us who seek deep meaning to life, to eventually discover the desire to understand how the universe really works and what laws are at play. We wish to understand, so that we can better help ourselves create the most out of our life experiences while here in our physical bodies. On some logical level, we all understand that the day will come when each of us shall perish. Well, at least our physical bodies will perish. The innate, unique, divine, energetic, quantum aspect of our selves is immortal. If you are someone who is wishing to gain some understanding to the meaning of life, you may have already learned to accept your time on this planet is limited and if you are lucky enough to be a truth-seeker, within you is a drive to understand how you can absolutely make the most out of your physical life experience.
Truth-seekers are those amongst us...