My son and I have not always had it easy. I was barely 24 when I had given birth to this Dear One and gravely below the veil of consciousness, wrought with anxiety, and most likely suffering from undiagnosed depression.
For many years, I believed myself to be a wonderful mother. Unlike my own, my son heard the words "I love you" and I made sure to show interest in who he was a person and in things he liked to do. But below the level of my conscious mind were many patterns unfolding I was not aware of.
I was tense, critical, rigid, and perfectionistic. I was sad, lonely, and felt deeply disconnected from his father. The more I tried to please and connect, the further his father and I drifted apart only adding to mounting anxieties.
I was codependent but unaware. I was a child in an adult body emitting energies my conscious mind swore I would not. I was focused on outside things that pulled my energies from where they should have been directed. I was easily spooked by what others said...
There are so many secrets for man to discover on his sacred journey through life. Perhaps the most illusive however, is the secret that is living right behind his eyes.
Man has been kept in the dark for generations, and perhaps even since the beginning of time. Although there are those who are awakened, and have transcended the dark energies within their emotional bodies, many are still blind to the greatness within. Man has coded within his DNA all the potential needed to create abundance, health, love, joy and well being, and yet only 1% of the world's population seems to know how to invoke this potential to its max.
Most beings are ladened with guilt, shame, sorrow, lack, and poor health. Many beings believe they need and deserve their states and governments to provide for them, which also means they do not believe they can or should provide for themselves. A mind that believes in entitlement may be unaware that in believing in entitlement he gives up his power to live the...
When I walked into my therapy appointment for the first time, I was seriously doubting my sanity. At the same time I was also obsessing about the self-doubt I felt about being in therapy at all. I was ingrained to believe that self-care was a form of selfishness. It was only because I was so desperate I went at all. Migraines, rashes, hair loss, eczema, and severe asthma were all killing me slowly. I knew in my heart my unhappy marriage was a key to why I was falling apart and seeking therapy felt very much like my last hope.
Within the first hour of the session my therapist diagnosed me with codependency. I had no idea what codependency was, but I didn't care. I was just happy there was a name for what I was experiencing. For years I felt like I was losing my mind and with a name for what I felt, I was feeling relieved to say the least.
My first assignment was to go and buy the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. I didn't walk to the Barnes and Noble...