I was recently asked, "Why is it that drug addicts and alcoholics are attracted to me like a moth is to a flame? Why is it that I too, am attracted to people who are so self sabotaging? I don't get it. I confuse love with pity, and I am always thinking negative--like I don't deserve a nice guy or true happiness. Why?"
When I am in the company of a being who is distraught over their relationship, who is coming to the realization that they are the common denominator--I always feel as if I am watching a newborn baby being born. For as a being begins to see self--she/he is in the process of dissolving the illusions cast by the ego.
The ego is that part of our mind that served us when we were small children. It helped us understand our autonomy and separation from others. The ego of one man--is the ego of all men. It is the same psychological predisposition that causes a being to be blind to him/her own magnificent self.
When a child is not taught that who they are is enough--tall,...
Codependency is everywhere. It is in our media, our newspapers, and on our airwaves. In obvious as well as covert ways we as a people are being brainwashed to worry more about what others think about us than what we think about ourselves. In addition, we are bombarded with subliminal messages that cause us to unconsciously fear being alone, unworthy, and definitely not enough.
From Cinderella to so called 'Reality TV' we consumers--consume the garbage we observe without as much as a 'WTF?'
We get sucked into the codependent dramas we witness on television and in the movies and rarely stop to think, "Hey wait a minute. What did I just absorb into my freakin' psyche right now?"
In overt as well as covert ways we the individuals--that in all make up the masses are being hypnotized to believe we are not enough. We are so not enough--we need to take diet pills, get lash extensions, study porn for the latest sex positions, say yes when we wish we could say no, have the perfect marriage,...
As a Life Coach for Adult Children of Alcoholics, I am so thankful for all of my clients faith and trust in me. Because of the work I do with them, I am afforded the opportunity to craft concepts and formulas that truly help transform their old ways of thinking.
I never get tired of saying:
If you were unable to attend our live workshop call on Codependency and Boundary building, you can download this Mp3 now.
Codependency is rooted in a lack of self. When you are raised by people who fail to validate you psychologically, you are programmed to be detached from the self. Because you are stuck seeking your parents validation, and because you never received it, your adult life tends to become one of enmeshment. It seems you are on a never ending journey in search of acceptance, belonging and validation.
I created this workshop to help people learn 'how to' take back their personal power, so that they could begin defining their own boundary lines. Without a solid understanding of the self, it is impossible to be authentic in relationships and to protect oneself from emotional vampires. Because this is an attraction based universe, and because like attract likes, when you are a codependent who lacks a self--you can only attract a being who is incapable of seeing you as...
Codependents have been brainwashed to believe that their feelings, wants, needs, and desires do not count.
As children, many of us were taught to stuff our emotions. Rocking the boat pissed the adults in our lives off--so stuff we did.
What we could never have known then is, that all that stuffing of negative energy--actually caused energetic roots to grow from our root chakras--into the time and place where we were receiving those emotional injuries.
To compound the issue of traumatic roots, because this is a like attracting universe--our need for outer validation--attracts others who need to be able to control the mind and hearts of others for their own immature ego gratification.
Wounded codependents attract beings who have sadly learned to get their needs met through the conquering or the controlling of others. Codependents similarly get their immature needs met by catering to others.
These two equally immature mentally, emotionally and spiritual beings attract one...