When your parent is an alcoholic, drug addict, narcissist, or emotional manipulator of some kind--their main agenda is get their own needs met. YOU as their child--on a heart level--do not feel validated. Instead, you feel wrong, ill, inept, tainted, unworthy, broken, and in the way.
Children are born seeking outside of themselves for love, acceptance and validation; which is why when a mother gives birth to a child--the tiny little being does not jump off of the delivery table and begin walking down the hospital hall and out into the world on its own. No--we human beings come into this time space reality needing--and wait for it--DESERVING of...
To ALL Adult Children Everywhere--I bless you--I honor you--I feel you--I hear you!
Your road is a lonely one.
The abuse you have tolerated in the dark moments of your life--have left scars that are invisible to the physical eye--yet you are scarred--bruised and battered nonetheless.
Born to beings who were supposed to nurture you--adore you--and support you--instead--you have been brainwashed, manipulated, beaten, criticized, shamed, guilted, humiliated, and worse--DENIED the right to feel or own any of the suffering that was created while being abused...WTF?
Forced to live in a state of disassociation--as a means to simply survive horrific childhood experiences--adult children of alcoholics are beaten in one moment--and then expected to 'act as if' the beating never occurred.
Adding maggots to the equation--adult children are often manipulated to live their lives not only denying their personal suffering--but they too--are forced to 'act as if' mom and dad are the most wonderful...
If you are the adult child of an alcoholic, there is no doubt you have suffered trauma in your life. More than likely you may even be suffering from some form of post traumatic stress disorder. When events occur in the Now, that remind you of a traumatic event from your past, it is all too easy to be pulled back into a negative spiral.
Perhaps before your father beat your mother, he would have a glass of Scotch on the rocks. Today you might tense up every time you hear ice cubes clang against the sides of a glass. You might feel anxious every time you are at dinner and you hear someone order Scotch on the rocks. And if you are experiencing any signs of angst under these circumstances, relax; you're normal.
That's right dear one...YOU ARE NORMAL!
In fact, your response is absolutely appropriate given your unique circumstances.
Your brain is so highly sophisticated that it has the ability to recall all circumstances, sounds and etc, that occur before a traumatic event occurs.
If you are an adult child of an alcoholic, or the adult child of a dysfunctional home, chances are you have a difficult time NOT taking yourself too seriously.
Why would an adult child have a difficult time not taking themselves too seriously?
We ACoA's and GCoA's and ACoD (adult children of dysfunction) very often have been the victim of criticism, psychological manipulation, emotional manipulation, physical abuse and worse.
Because our childhoods taught us to that we needed to stay on guard--so to thwart some kind of an attack, we failed to be able to let go--or allow our guards to drop.
By default, we are hyper-vigilant, fear criticism, and tend to be rigid. We fear making mistakes, laughing too loud, or coming off as silly. We fear what other people think of us, and so we cut ourselves off from opportunities to let go--be free--and to have pure unobscured FUN!
As a Life Coach, and Self Mastery Expert I hold myself personally responsible for being the type of professional...
On the road to recovery, many adult children from dysfunctional homes discover that although they have gathered a plethora of healing jargon along the way, they very often get stuck somewhere along the journey. Many clients have expressed this feeling of being stuck as one that causes them to feel inept and too broken to ever truly recover completely.
Emotionally manipulative parents wound their children in ways no one could ever truly imagine, as the suffering of an ACoA lies deep within the beings perception of Self.
In spite of the divine truth being, that ALL beings are born perfect, self perceptions held by wounded adult children exist at what feels like the core of that being.
I am not a religious being, but I have great respect for the knowledge and wisdom that is found in various philosophies.
The Bible is perhaps the most concise psychological book that has ever been written. Plagued however, by all too many religious dogmas claiming various teachings unto their...
One out of five adults have lived with an alcoholic parent in our lifetimes.
Those are alarming statistics. Here's another one.
A new report shows 7.5 million children under age 18 (10.5 percent of this population) lived with a parent who has experienced an alcohol use disorder in the past year. According to the report by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) 6.1 million of these children live with two parents—with either one or both parents experiencing an alcohol use disorder in the past year. (SAMSHA)
I cannot help but think about the consequences these facts create.
We know that one out of five, (and some argue that a closer figure is 1 out of 4) children have lived with an alcoholic parent in their lifetime, then it is time we as a nation address this issue head on in our School Systems.
Children who are being neglected, traumatized and abused at home do not have the mental capacity to focus on learning reading,...
As a Life Coach for Adult Children of Alcoholics, I am so thankful for all of my clients faith and trust in me. Because of the work I do with them, I am afforded the opportunity to craft concepts and formulas that truly help transform their old ways of thinking.
I never get tired of saying: