I was recently asked, "Why is it that drug addicts and alcoholics are attracted to me like a moth is to a flame? Why is it that I too, am attracted to people who are so self sabotaging? I don't get it. I confuse love with pity, and I am always thinking negative--like I don't deserve a nice guy or true happiness. Why?"
When I am in the company of a being who is distraught over their relationship, who is coming to the realization that they are the common denominator--I always feel as if I am watching a newborn baby being born. For as a being begins to see self--she/he is in the process of dissolving the illusions cast by the ego.
The ego is that part of our mind that served us when we were small children. It helped us understand our autonomy and separation from others. The ego of one man--is the ego of all men. It is the same psychological predisposition that causes a being to be blind to him/her own magnificent self.
When a child is not taught that who they are is enough--tall,...
If there is one commonality amongst we Adult Children of Alcoholics that holds us back from moving forward in our life more than any other, it is the fact that we tend to get stuck in our damn heads, and ignorantly sit back and act as if we are powerless to their looping.
Over and over we succumb, like paralyzed marionettes to the dysfunctional, nonsensical, unfair, critical, condemning, judging, self pitying, anxiety provoking thoughts that loop in our minds. Most often these thoughts haunt us as we are drifting off to sleep, when sadly our subconscious minds are the most vulnerable to data. Like an excel sheet waiting to be inputed with data before the closing of a days work, our subconscious minds accept the nonsense of our thoughts and logs it. While we sleep, our subconscious minds are victims to the only data we falsely believe we have control over.
We ACoA's have been lied to in more ways than most of us realize.
Many of us have been brainwashed to believe we are sinners, and...