May 25, 2018

Adult Child of Alcoholic STOP-LISTEN-ACT-The Invisible Child Abuse

by Lisa A. Romano

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As a Life Coach for Adult Children of Alcoholics, I am so thankful for all of my clients faith and trust in me. Because of the work I do with them, I am afforded the opportunity to craft concepts and formulas that truly help transform their old ways of thinking.

I never get tired of saying:

  • that the brain is a computer
  • baby brains are the most absorbable of information
  • babies and children born to alcoholics--are absorbing corrupt data
  • brains can only run on the programs that have been inputed into them
  • by the time a being is an adolescent-he/she is out in the world living off that corrupt data
  • alcoholics-live in denial-below the veil of consciousness-children live above the veil of consciousness-in real time-mind, body and soul
  • children of alcoholics-feel the gap between mom and dad
  • the gap is cold and void of emotional connection
  • the lack of authentic connection to mom and dad creates a psychic wound
  • the wound imprints the child with the feeling that they are unlovable and unworthy
  • the more a child trusted his/her parent the deeper the wounds
  • bec
  • ause trust in others is broken-the child cannot learn to trust his/her instincts (higher self guidance)
  • because the child has never received positive and appropriate mirroring of Self from mother and father-the child will spend his/her whole life seeking validation from others (outside of Self)
  • adult children who have been abused physically will either be abusive or attract abusers
  • alcoholics do not allow others to call them out on their alcoholism and when others do, they lash out at those trying to help them in an attempt to protect their supply of escape (alcohol)
  • siblings of these families tend to be disjointed as trust has never been able to flourish within the dynamic
  • the brain never stops learning
  • once the adult child of an alcoholic is able to conceptualize what went wrong, when and why, the brain relearns new data very quickly
  • telling an Adult Child to just get over their childhood--is abusive and invalidating
  • helping an Adult Child become self actualized is the key to healing
  • healing is 100% possible
  • there is nothing broken in an Adult Child of an Alcoholic
  • there is only corrupt data-repressed emotions and limiting beliefs
  • learning to feel what one feels is key
  • allowing the emotions to surface is essential
  • emotional cleansing exercises are extremely cathartic
  • the Higher Self is coded into a beings DNA
  • god lives within us--not outside out there somewhere
  • clearing the old--makes way for the new
  • Adult Children of Alcoholics can and do die to the old, resurrect their Higher Self's and can and do become reborn

I know this--because I experience the birthing of new souls each and every day of my life through my coaching practice.

Today I would like to share my Stop-Listen and Act exercise.


l human beings consistently experience moments of intuition, when their Higher Self (holy spirit) sends them some impulse to try something new--to make a phone call--to go to a website or whatever.

Normally ACoA's discredit the impulse--judge the impulse--minimize the impulse and sometimes even feel guilty about the impulse.


WRONGO--thinking Dear One...but understand--that kind of self sabotaging thinking process represents data--a program you were brainwashed to believe in, that's all. It is NOT you--does NOT represent YOU. It is just what your brain has been taught to do.

Today I want you to STOP--everytime you hear or feel an intuition or impulse from Higher Self.

Then I want you to LISTEN--to what your Higher Self is trying to tell you.

Then I want you to ACT in at least three small physical ways to validate--justify and honor the impulse.

So if you have the impulse to take a yoga class, I want you to immediately;

  1. write the impulse down on paper
  2. research the closest yoga studio to you--find a time that works for you
  3. then go to the yoga class

At same time--ignore the CORRUPT BRAINWASHED INTO YOU DATA that shows up in your mind. Allow them to be--just don't attach to them

Be prepared Dear One...when you begin living in the NOW--you find God--you find YOU--and you find JOY!

Baby steps Dear One...step by step--you begin acclimating back into the world of the living.