What to look for in relationships

Healthy Relationship Signs

If you were raised in a home where wounds were created daily and exploited often, and you are on a quest to find a healthy relationship as an adult today, you may be looking out for danger signs, without paying attention to healthy signs.

The Fear of Intimacy

Abused adult children can spend their lives in fear of becoming hurt inside relationship dynamics. We can fear intimacy, vulnerability and tone ourselves down. On the flip side, we can be too open too soon, and expose our deepest and most wounded parts of ourselves without building faith in the other person first.

Children in Adult Bodies

We are children in adult bodies and often do not realize that our fears as well as hopes are driving our emotions and behaviors. For these reason, when we are unaware we are unaware, we don't always make the most sound choices when it comes to choosing partners or friends.

What Does Your Healthy Relationship Look Like

If you are on...

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Narcissists & Boundaries

Narcissists and Boundaries

Someone who loves you, cares about you and actually wants to know how you REALLY feel, welcomes open communication. Someone who is mature, has your back and can experience you as a 3D autonomous being WANTS to know how you experience the world.

However, when faced with needing to set boundaries with narcissists, this is not the case.

Narcissists will find ways to punish you for daring to set boundaries.
They are angered by your desire to have an open dialogue.
They are resentful that you dare to suggest they've crossed a line and how you feel never crosses their mind.

Overt Narcissist

Overt narcissists are easier to spot. They will bully you, verbally abuse you, demean you and treat you unkindly and often, openly in front of others.

Covert Narcissist

Covert narcissists however, find other ways to show their hidden rage, aggression, and resentments. When dealing with covert narcissists, you will need...

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What The Hell Is Codependency?

Over the years the term codependency has taken on many meanings. Originally the term was coined to describe the partners and family members of alcoholics. Counselors noted that family members of the self absorbed alcoholics presented with similar symptoms. Spouses generally catered to the needs of the alcoholic, while ignoring needs of their own. As time has passed the term 'codependency' has truly evolved. We now understand this term in much greater detail, and with these new understandings come much awaited emotional relief.

YOU'RE NOT CRAZY

When I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown, it was complete terror that drove me to a therapists office. I was stunned yet relieved when he said, "Well, you're not crazy, but you are codependent." My mind swirled with, "Wait what? I am not married to an alcoholic. How can this diagnosis fit?"