Lions and tigers and bears OH MY!
Generally speaking, the narcissist and codependent have grown up feeling abandoned, rejected, unloved, and unwanted. Both have internalized abandonment and carry this internalization of such experiences as shame. The codependent is the one who has figured out that by acquiescing, people-pleasing, fawning, rescuing, and by suppressing one's needs they are able to avoid either additional abandonment or criticism. The narcissist, however, was unable to find ways to gain any sort of approval or reprieve from the experiences they were born into. No matter what the narcissist did, relief, acceptance, love, happiness, attachment, and joy never came.
Codependents LOVE to rescue and fix people. We have never learned to believe that we are enough just as we are. Healthy people might not want us, we think, but perhaps a wounded duck might! In fact, codependent people will attract the most wounded, unstable personality in a room full of healthy others!...
As a Life Coach, Mentor, Consultant but primarily ADVOCATE for adult children of alcoholics, I understand all too well the silent ills that can plague the mind of a being who has been conditioned to believe that the very essence of who they are--is unworthy.
Every single one of us--including YOU the entity reading and translating the little letters on this page was born perfect, worthy and yes dear one--even ENOUGH!
But what happened?
Why have so many of us gone astray?
How is it--if you and I were born worthy--that we can feel so empty and lost on the inside?
Take a deep breath, perhaps grab a cup of tea--and allow your mind to absorb the information you are about to take in. You may have to read this article and others like it many times over before the wisdom is able to be absorbed by your very tattered mind. This is not your fault. Your mind has been programmed to not only reject information about the validity of your soul--but it has been taught to NOT trust the very emotions...