Labels Make Sense Out of Chaos
by Lisa A. Romano
Codependency -- Accepting the Label
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Narcissists
Before I finally accepted I was codependent, I rejected the label.
"Me, codependent? How could that be? I don't drink. My ex is not an alcoholic. We don't use drugs. This can't fit. I have a big mouth. I am intelligent. I can't be codependent. Something else must be going on."
When we are codependent we can reject labels because they make us uncomfortable. If our spouse is an alcoholic, we may feel uneasy accepting this label. If we struggle with alcohol we may struggle with admitting to ourselves we are powerless over alcohol.
When we are codependent and in relationships with troubled personalities, we struggle to accept the reality of our partner because of what it says about us.
"If my partner is an alcoholic, a gambler, a cheater, or a narcissist, what then does that mean about me?"
Codependency is a label that brings order to chaos. It helps a codependent see in themselves what needed to be seen. Our troubled relationships are mirrors of what is happening inside of us. If we are being lied to it is because we are lying to the self.
Codependency is a label that brings order to chaos. It helps us understand how living in denial draws into our experience OTHERS who also live in denial.
Codependency is a label that brings order to chaos. It helps us understand that the world is a cause and effect universe and until we awaken to our own denial of self, we stay on paths of destruction with others who are also on paths of destruction.
Codependency is a label that brings order to chaos. It helps a giving, people-pleasing codependent understand how they've manifested relationship after relationship with abusive, self-serving others.
Codependency is a label that brings order to chaos. It helps a reactive codependent understand they no longer need to manipulate others to feel good enough.
Codependency is a label that brings order to chaos. It helps someone understand how denying their true emotions has allowed others to violate their boundaries for personal gain.
If you resonate with symptoms of codependency, you're one of the lucky ones. The world is full of people who do not understand that their need to feel seen can be exploited by someone with ill intentions.
Codependents grovel, people-please, enable and even lie for their partners, family, and friends until they can lie to themselves no more.
Pain is the teacher and self-love is the lesson.
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