A child's first protector is its mother and when a mother fails to protect her child from other's abuse and in turn becomes a perpetrator, her child will suffer the greatest human tragedy. The wounds will be invisible. No one will understand the ingredients that make up the child's tears. No one will fathom the heaviness of the child's vibration, and yet, when the child cries or acts out, others will assume what is wrong is the child.
Abuse happens in bedrooms, kitchens, living rooms, and basements when the front doors are locked and the house windows are closed. Family and friends, school personnel and even authorities often dismiss the possibility of abuse, denying their own ignorance and justifying their disbelief based on a subconscious conflict. Often people dismiss abuse as a reality because THEY have not witnessed the abuse, although logical minds understand abuse happens when there are no witnesses to be found.
When mothers fail, every system of a child's brain responds with the appropriate fight/flight response. Something is terribly wrong when a mother is unable to nurture her child and commits acts of violence, whether verbal or physical, or sexual on her child. The child's DIVINE internal guidance system will know it and respond accurately.
When a child's mother is a perpetrator, a child's psyche does not blame the mother for their anxieties, fears, or suffering. Instead, a child will assume they are bad, unworthy, and it is their fault their mother withholds love, or abuses them in some way.
This process will need to be reversed in order to save the life, mind, and soul of the innocent child. In order to save themselves, a child must turn warrior!
Mothers have the most consequential responsibility ever coded into a human being. A mother's body is the chalice of a child's evolution, where every cell of a child's body is designed by divinity and nurtured organically and automatically without much conscious effort on the mothers part. Upon the child's birth, it is required that the child FEEL one with, nurtured and protected by the organism from which it came. When a child FEELS rejected by, and perpetrated upon by this ultimate figure, a child's mind, body, and soul retreats into a harrowing internal abyss.
On the healing path, you may need to pick thorn bushes instead of daises and sip on sour grapes until milk and honey show up, but it will show up.
You may need to sit with that lonely little girl or boy, and FEEL the emotions they've stuffed and chat with them until all the faulty assumptions they have stored in the basement of their subconscious mind have been expunged. You may have to sit for weeks or months, rocking, holding, and drying the tears of this wounded inner child, and if you do, you are repairing the very fabric of your own inner child's DNA.
If you are a mother who has failed, chances are you have been failed as well. The world is holographic and subconscious patterns dictate reality. If you wish to begin healing the past, you must begin with YOU. If you can admit to your own maternal failures, you are half way there! If you can forgive yourself, you are three quarters of the way there. If you can commit to healing the wounds created by your tongue, and your hands, you are THERE!
We are all flawed and we are all born unconscious and we all screw up, say things we wish we hadn't, and do things we are ashamed of. Those of us who can look at ourselves in the face and admit it, our humble warriors who understand that once we heal the shame within, we can heal our own wounds and in turn help heal the wounds we helped to create in our children.
If you are not humbled by life, you should be.
We are here to heal ourselves and to help heal others. This is the way.
From one flawed, humbled, healing mother to another mother/father out there, recovery starts with us.
One day at a time.
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