1. Codependency is about unhealthy attachments to those we believe we require validation from.
2. Codependency involves the unconscious drive to cater to, fix, rescue and enable others.
3. Codependency is rooted in the fear of abandonment.
Codependent people feel in control when we are able to anticipate the needs of others. In the anticipating of other's needs, we avoid the fear of abandonment. The illusion is, if people need us, they will never abandon us.
We don’t realize that in taking care of others, we are avoiding how we feel. When we attract people who need to be fixed, this gives us something other to focus on but ourselves. We are so accustomed to NOT knowing how to BE with ourselves, we feel lost when we don’t have something or someone to worry about.
We lack boundaries and don’t know what we want. We know what we don’t want, but we...