Jun 14, 2018

Understanding The Self Requires Us to Pin the Tail on the Donkey

by Lisa A. Romano

This post is not about bashing mothers or fathers. It is about UNDERSTANDING the self.

From time to time, I receive an email suggesting that my social media posts, books, videos, and alike, make it difficult for adult children to forgive their parents. Of course, these emails are coming from parents, and I get that--totally. I am, by the way, a mom who made tons of mistakes with her own children. I know the kick to the stomach reality is when you become aware of the fact that in your own state of unconsciousness, you have said and have done things that have hurt your own children.

Folks, there is NO healing without HUMILITY.

It is what it is.

If we were to plant an apple seed into soil lacking vitamins, minerals, and proper irrigation, and if that apple seed only grew past the soil to stand about three feet tall as an apple tree, no one would fault the seed. Well, no logical person would fault the seed that is. A narcissist would fault the seed if the narcissist were the soil--just sayin'.

But, I digress...

Back to the apple seed.

Rational people would understand the idea that this innocent apple seed, so full of potential could not become ALL it was meant to become, which may have even included a future apple orchard, because of the ENVIRONMENT it was placed into.

The work that I do is not meant to bash the soil and instead is meant to help the apple seed understand that what went wrong is NOT them.

The work that I do is meant to help apple seeds everywhere understand that the ENVIRONMENT they were born into is the very FOUNDATION for all that they have become, good and not so good.

The fact is, the quality of the relationship we have with the soil our seeds were impregnated in MATTERS!

If our mothers had issues, those issues impacted us--period.

I am not blaming--I am explaining to apple seeds everywhere--YOU ARE ENOUGH--and the potential to be a magnificent orchard--still exists within you!

Youtube Video

The video below is about childhood trauma caused by being raised by alcoholics and its possible link to suicidal ideation. I wish there was more of a push to help discover a definitive link to suicide as well as suicidal ideation for adult children who have been raised by alcoholics and narcissists. 


Because the more the mind can understand its own behavior, the more it can organize and find healthier ways to cope with life stressors. 

Thanks for reading and for watching!