Apr 20, 2022

Shame: The Weight of Feeling Like a Burden as a Child

by Lisa A. Romano

childhood emotional neglect codependency recovery inner child healing

Do you believe you were a burden to your parents or caretakers?

Do you ever feel like you're just not good enough? That no matter what you do, you can't escape the shame of feeling like a burden? If so, you're not alone.

Many people carry the weight of shame from childhood emotional neglect. This type of neglect leaves lasting scars and can be one of the most damaging experiences a child can go through. If you're ready to heal your inner child and start recovering from childhood emotional neglect, keep reading!

Shame and Childhood Emotional Neglect

Shame is a common experience for many people who grew up with emotional neglect. If you're not sure what emotional neglect is, it's when your parents or caregivers fail to meet your emotional needs. This can include things like not being shown affection, not being given attention, or feeling like you're always in the way. As a result, you may have grown up feeling unworthy of love and attention. These feelings can be very difficult to shake, but it is possible to heal from them.

You Live Trying to Be Good Enough for Others and Ignore the Self

The mind can be tormented when it is NOT organized and lacks mental tools to navigate the prickly world of emotions.
This is especially true if you were raised to feel like a burden to the people you loved, and who you needed to love you in return.
When children become the receptacles for their parent's unresolved trauma, the damage done can take a lifetime of personal emotional transformation work to heal.
Emotionally immature, overworked, stressed, unaware, and even alcoholic or narcissistic parents, often do not fully recognize the insidious ways their unresolved childhood trauma seeps through the words, glares, and handling of their children, who adore them beyond human comprehension.
If you are someone who grew up feeling like a burden, please know the shame you carry is real, it is valid, and it needs to be appreciated as an authentic experience of your inner child. Shame is not to be layered with more shame, and instead, it is meant to be embraced as a rickety old friend who wishes to be released from the trauma that caused its wretchedness as much as you'd like it to be released.
Please know that feeling like a burden as a child takes root just as a seed sprouts roots when placed in the soil and this is not your fault. Shame is often a subconscious experience that manifests in the outer world as codependency, insecurity, cptsd, the fear of abandonment, and a loss of selfhood. You just don't know who you are and that is because you were conditioned to believe that in order to gain love, you had to make up for feeling like a burden to those who caused you to feel guilty for being born.  And that is NOT your fault. 
If you are codependent, and your mind becomes wrought with worry over what people think about you, what they need, and how you might somehow figure out how to please them, Dear One, please know you have not incarnated on planet earth to live in reaction to others, seeking approval, hoping to be good enough, and living as if your entire life is based on making sure others don't see you as a burden.
You have come to LIVE and to be FREE...
Dear One, it's not you -- it's your programming...
Remember who you are...focus on the divine self...integrate mind, body, and soul...HEAL your inner child...DISSOLVE codependent neurological and subconscious belief patterns...and then focus on resonating with the frequencies of the realities you desire.

If you're ready to start recovering from childhood emotional neglect, there are a few things you can do. First, it's important to understand that you are not alone. There are other people who have been through similar experiences and understand what you're going through. Second, you need to start giving yourself the love and attention you didn't receive as a child. This may include things like being gentle with yourself, setting boundaries, and speaking kindly to yourself. Third, understand that you can heal once you become aware of how your past has impacted your perception of self. Fourth, commit yourself to self awareness, self love, self knowledge, and self compassion. Fifth, it is helpful to work with those who understand how your childhood has distorted your perception of self, and how negative self-beliefs are manifesting in the 3D world, as they often do within codependent relationships. 

If you're ready to start healing from childhood emotional neglect, remember that you are not alone. There is help available, and you can overcome these feelings of shame and worthlessness. With time, patience, and self-love, you can begin to heal the scars of your past and build a bright future for yourself.

If you are ready to begin your inner child healing journey, visit;


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