Sometimes Loving the Self Means Saying NO to Others & YES to the Self
by Lisa A. Romano
Loving the self is the cornerstone of our lives, although many abused adult children struggle to even understand what the hell loving the self means.
When we love from the purest state, we are unconditionally loving, accepting, patient, empathic, kind, forgiving and understanding.
This does not imply we need to sleep with people we know do not love us in a healthy way or can even harm us.
This does not imply we do not have the right to set boundaries with unhealthy and abusive others.
It does imply, however, that love, in its purest form has the ability to understand without judgment and without a roll in the hay.
Loving the self very often means we learn to say “NO!” ‘No, I won’t sleep with you. No, I am not coming over to ‘just’ watch a movie. No, I won’t meet you for coffee. No, I don’t care if she is just a friend. No, I won’t pick you up from the train station even if it is snowing and your car has a flat.’
Often, those of us who have been abandoned and who suffer from love addiction and codependent tendencies, settle for what shows up, even if what shows up sucks!
If you’ve been settling for what has been showing up, and if what has been showing up has been unfulfilling, painful, confusing, and anxiety provoking, this weekend, see if you can love the self by practicing the word ‘NO’.
This weekend, see if you can love the self from the purest state possible. Love you, have patience for you, forgive you, have empathy for you, understand YOU and offer YOU the warmest, most coziest of love anyone could ever imagine.
Sometimes loving the self means saying NO to others and YES to the self.
What is one way you could show yourself you love you this weekend? Is there a person in your life you need to say NO to? Have you over-extended yourself and need to say NO to ever doing this again?
Sometimes self-love means we need to get comfortable with things that make us uncomfortable. Please share if doing so resonates with you. Namaste…