by Lisa A. Romano
Many of us are addicted to something, whether that is a relationship, Facebook, Instagram, television, food, anger, sex, shopping, alcohol, drugs, or our phones.
Many of us are running away from an emptiness we cannot name and in the busying ourselves with OUTSIDE things, we get to evade the pang of that emptiness.
Hence, why so many of us are codependent.
When we are in relationships that are unhealthy, we may not realize how the dynamics help us avoid something much deeper. When we are in painful relationships, we often fail to acknowledge the addictive cycle that emerges and how that cycle serves our brain's need to avoid pain.
Staying in unhealthy relationships allows us to avoid the pain of our own abandonment trauma and the debilitating shame that accompanies that trauma. The more chaotic the relationship, the less time or need we have to go within.
When we are trying to kick any addiction, we must acknowledge that doing so will present us with a tremendous feeling of LOSS. We must acknowledge that choosing to end an addiction to someone or something will leave us with an emptiness and we must manage that emptiness in a healthy way if we are going to succeed and make it to the other side.
If you are ending addictions to others or things, be kind to yourself and give your brain and your body permission to experience the loss of excitement, intoxication, thrill, passion, intensity, fairy-tale like thinking, and the ability to avoid pain by way of dissociation and denial.
Getting real is the only way to succeed on the recovery journey.
It is okay to not always be okay.
Perhaps the first addiction we need to overcome is the addiction to the false self and the need to convince others we have no flaws.
Get real Dear Ones--and do what you can to BUCK the world of illusions, materialism, and separation.
YOU ARE ENOUGH as you are--right here, right now--