Sep 05, 2018

Equanimity vs Reactivity

by Lisa A. Romano

anger programming rage reactivity

The brain prefers the familiar, even when the familiar causes us to repeat painful patterns from the past.

The brain prefers the familiar, even when the familiar causes us to feel arrested, stuck, dependent, angry, depressed, critical, sad, lonely, frustrated, and codependent.

The brain prefers the familiar because, by nature, predictable circumstances are far less fear provoking than fears of the unknown, even if those predictable circumstances are painful.

If we people-please when we know others are upset with us, or if we react when others do not behave as we would like them to, both may be patterns from the past our wounded inner child used to cope with emotions that caused us to fear feeling abandoned, rejected, and ultimately NOT good enough.

If we freeze or run away and dissociate from painful emotions, our brain is only trying to help us move away from thoughts that terrify us. In essence, this is a protective mechanism that helps us manage overwhelming emotions we may not have the ability to process in any given moment.

And that is okay....

All is well....

We are all wounded...we all have fears...we all have pain we are trying to face, unearth, process, and integrate, and all shall fall into place--when we are ready.

Healing happens in layers--it does not happen in one giant swoop!

We are all like Shrek--we all have layers.

Our brains will protect us with defenses that help us make it from one painful moment to the next, but the goal is to become AWARE of patterns and programs that keep us stuck and in states of reactivity.

The more aware we can become--the more control we can have over our thoughts--and the energy we emit. When we are not in control over our emotions and or our thoughts, our programming is.

IMHO, the goal is equanimity <3 rather than reactivity. 

When we are calm, we can choose to be proactive rather than reactive. The more accountable we are of how we show up in the world, the better our chances are of attracting more peace, love, respect, health, and abundance in our lives. 

You are enough!