Jul 03, 2020

To experience love and intimacy, we must learn to be honest

by Lisa A. Romano

childhood love programming self love

Every human being wishes to be loved and to love. To experience love and intimacy, we must learn to be honest. Intimacy is crucial when it comes to experiencing healthy relationships, but what is intimacy exactly?

For those of us who come from abandonment, rejection, unpredictability, and addictive or abusive homes, it is not so easy to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, but without vulnerability, we can never experience intimacy.

Intimacy is tied to the ability to share ourselves with others in honest ways. It implies we are willing to share our fears, desires, opinions, and beliefs with others in a way that represents our truest, rawest selves. When we are in healthy relationships, our partners, friends, and family members can HEAR what we are saying. We are not judged, marginalized, condemned, or made fun of when we share what we offer. The intimate things we share land upon cotton sheets not beds of broken glass.

To be intimate with others requires a level of courage. We can never control how other people react to what we share, so it is important we enter into relationships knowing anything can happen when we open ourselves up and allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

Part of our self-care routine should include being open and honest with ourselves. We only have so much time on planet earth and we should not waste our time trying to be something or someone we are not. While it is important to work towards allowing ourselves to BE who and what we really are, it is equally important that we work on accepting others too.

Make sure you are just as willing to allow someone you know to be vulnerable with how they feel, what they believe, and with what they need. There is no need to rescue, change, argue with, or fix anyone. Good old accepting people for who they are is enough.