If you study success, you learn that in order to achieve success you must become success-conscious. Developing a growth mindset takes time, very much like it would if you purchased a run-down factory and you needed to renovate it in order for it to begin manufacturing the one of a kind cookies your great grandmother taught you to bake when you were a little kid.
In order for the factory to be successful, you'd need to pluck out whatever needed to be removed and replace it with equipment and with people in alignment with the success of your new company. And so it is with LOVE.
In order to manifest love you must become love-conscious. The problem with this principle is, many of us who struggle with shame often stay in relationships with toxic others, like narcissists. The key idea here is to remember that narcissists are fear-conscious. They fear abandonment. They fear being seen as 'ordinary'. They fear losing control over you. They need for their sources of narcissistic supply to acquiesce, fawn, and quiver in their boots when the narcissist shows disappointment in them.
SO.....in order for you to find the love we all desire, we MUST become LOVE-CONSCIOUS and doing so begins with refusing to tolerate relationships that are anchored in FEAR.
Narcissists may never ascend the plane of fear and they don't like being there alone. That is why they must fill you with fear as well.
If you can see it, you can rise above it!