Wounded people wound people. Until we find the answer, let it be!
by Lisa A. Romano
Forgiveness is often associated with letting people off the hook. Your boyfriend cheats on you and he says he is sorry and you forgive him. Your best friend says something off hand like, “You look pregnant in that dress. You should go change” and you forgive her. Your sister claims she didn’t think you wanted to know when your mother passed away, so it was for your benefit that she did not reach out, and you forgive her.
But have your forgiven, really, or have you just avoided dealing with an issue you may not know how to deal with?
Children tend to forgive without expectation and understanding why it is they let go of their anger. Often, children just want things to be better, less tense, and because they do not have the power to assert boundaries, they simply dissociate from their emotions and fail to recognize when they have been violated.
Children let go because they have no sense of the rights they have to hold someone accountable or in believe things will change. What choice do they have really, when they continue to be violated over and over and they know the people they love are all they have?
As adults, we can learn to practice setting boundaries appropriately and we learn to do this one step at a time. We no longer avoid red flags, and understand that although we have no right to control someone else, we do have the right to say ‘no more’ to lies, verbal assaults, unnecessary drama, conflicts, harassment, lies, cheating, passive aggressiveness, gaslighting and alike.
When we end toxic relationships, it is NEVER a good idea to get stuck in the TOXIC stools the relationship left behind. It is always better to find RESOLUTION and put the PAST TO BED.
One of the best ways to do so is through the GRACE of FORGIVENESS.
When we end that TOXIC marriage and the ex is out there on Facebook lying up a storm and doing their best to play the victim and paint you as the whack-a-doodle, it can be EXTRMELEY difficult to calm the AMYGDALA down. Your amygdala is going to want to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn after them or all the people they are trying to turn against you.
DON’T!
In the words of the BEATLES, ‘LET IT BE’
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be’
Dear Ones, there is a FAST TRACK to ABUNDANCE, PEACE, and LOVE, and that is deliberately choosing to NOT allow ANY negative POWER maintain control over your RIGHT to be in the FLOW of all GRACE.
Today, if possible LET IT BE and to anyone who has wounded you, even just a little bit, see if you can FORGIVE what has been, if not for them, for YOU—and for your chance to CONNECT more deeply with the SOURCE of all that is within you.
Wounded people wound people. Until we find the answer, LET IT BE!
Be GRATEFUL for FORGIVENESS and LET IT BE!
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