Aug 28, 2020

Until we face our inner wounds, we stay stuck

by Lisa A. Romano

abandonment childhood trauma self love wounded
Wounded daughters often enmesh with their mothers and fail to acknowledge the deep painful consequences a mother’s abandonment and rejection can cause.
This inability to acknowledge the wounds within, keeps daughters codependent, enabling, rescuing, fixing, and denying the need to stop catering to dysfunctional mothers who have failed to heal themselves, or who refuse to acknowledge their own need for healing.
Every son and every daughter needs to make the psychological and emotional break, that frees them of the fear of their mother’s abandonment.
Until we face our inner wounds, we stay stuck, codependent and rescuing mothers that have failed to rescue us. This dynamic keeps us in the rescuer role, parentified, and unable to create the distance we need in order to successfully learn to love the self.
Enmeshment is where we lose ourselves to fantasies about one day finally being able to be 'good enough' for the type of mother love we always craved.
As we grow in our understanding of self, we are better able to understand how our mother's unhealed wounds have also impacted our lives.
Our greatest growth comes not from being able to prove our worthiness of being loved by our mothers. Our greatest growth comes by proving our worthiness of love to ourselves.
Mothers of generations ago, have not had the opportunities and insights so many of us have today. When we heal ourselves, we help liberate the many others who once believed the way to being a 'good woman' or 'good mother' was found by way of abandoning the self.
Healing and correcting some of our dysfunctional beliefs is a wonderful place to start this liberating personal healing journey.