Jun 21, 2019

How to Tame the Inner Critic in 5 Steps

by Lisa A. Romano


5 Steps to Tame the Inner Critic

1) Observe the negative language of the Inner Critic rather than react to it.

2) Disidentify from the negative language knowing you are NOT your thoughts.

3) Write down as many negative comments you hear coming from your Inner Critic and then number them 0-5, 5 being the most painful of all statements. 

4) Rewrite the negative language and replace it with loving messages.

5) Ask yourself, "Would I use this language on my best friend?" then imagine yourself doing just that. Imagine yourself using these exact phrases on a loved one. This will help your brain associate pain with these phrases which will assist the pain vs pleasure principle work for in the long run. 


When we detach from the negative language of the Inner Critic we are able to be more objective about what is happening inside our minds. With a new level of objectivity, we can more easily manage negative self-talk. 


Negative self-talk induces shame and when we feel shame, we lose the ability to be objective about the negative language of the Inner Critic. When we imagine using this negative language on someone we love, it is far easier for the mind to understand the damaging effects of this negative dialogue. Visioning ourselves using this language on someone we love helps our mind put into context the need to monitor our inner thoughts. 

To learn more about how you can control your inner dialogue by healing the inner child within you and freeing yourself from Codependency, feel free to check out The 12 Week Breakthrough Codependency Recovery Program. I hold this moderated class online twice a year. Work with me and my team over three months from the comfort of your own home and work with your class at your own pace. Registration is now open.

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