As adults, codependency manifests in the way we relate to others
by Lisa A. Romano
CPTSD causes someone with attachment and abandonment trauma to learn to believe they are unworthy of love.
When as a child, you have never felt seen, and the feeling of rejection is so deep, you are unable to find raw value in yourself, this creates trauma.
Chronic emotional trauma, unpredictability, and feelings of powerlessness are not states of 'being' a child can escape and as a result, children who are unable to return to a 'flow' state of peace, calm, and a sense of safety, stew in anxiety and stress.
As adults, codependency manifests in the way we relate to others. Rather than seek love because we know we are worthy of love, we go about getting our needs for 'attachment' through maladaptive avenues. Rather than flow with love, we seek to cater and act in service to others, hoping we can avoid the hole within feeling rejected and abandoned has created.
In relationships, a codependent who was shy as a child will be more passive, withdrawn, and reserve, while catering to the needs of others.
If, as a child, the codependent adult was more verbal and reactive, this behavior will be present in a codependent adult relationship, while manifesting as complaining, anger, or frustration.
Whether a codependent is timider or more verbal and aggressive, neither personality will leave the morsels of the toxic relationship they have enmeshed with. If you settle for crumbs, feeling afraid, anxious, and find yourself in a state of confusion and praying for relief in your relationships, it is time to ask yourself, 'Could I be suffering from codependency?'
If you are codependent, and you have manifested a narcissist into your life, every one of your abandonment fears will be exploited and manipulated for their own agenda.
It is better to be codependent and awaken than to stay asleep, unaware, and unconscious as to how what lurks in the subconscious mind causes you to stay enmeshed within the dynamics of a narcissistic codependent relationship.