Apr 24, 2020

Learning to own one’s history is the key to healing the wounds of the past

by Lisa A. Romano

abuse past selfcare

As an author and Life Coach dedicated to sharing what she has learned in this lifetime, with the intent of helping others heal their troubled pasts, often times I find myself teetering upon quite a delicate tightrope.

Because I believe firmly that most emotional woes are rooted in codependent thought processes, I do not believe it is possible to heal a wound one cannot name. Healing codependency requires great personal courage as well as conviction. Most abusers deny that any abuse has ever taken place, which leaves the child victim not only feeling invalidated, but often questioning their own perceptions of the past. In these types of cases, defining wounds of the past can be a most daunting task.

When caretakers refuse to acknowledge any abuse has taken place, it is up to the individual in search of healing to learn to honor their own perceptions, in spite of being invalidated by the others in their lives. Healing can often be a most terrifying experience. Exposing skeletons others deny, ignore, or flat out accuse you of lying about is heroic.

Codependency is the result of faulty childhood programming and is rooted in the guts of emotional wounds suffered as a child. Psychological wounds of childhood are critical to unearth for many reasons. Because the perceptions we formed about our selves and our worth were formed when our 'child minds' were being molded, who we think we are today and how we behave is directly related to our unconscious perceptions that were created when we were the most impressionable.

Learning to own one’s own history is the key to healing the wounds of the past.

Learning to trust the pain our memories create allows us to own our experiences, in spite of the veils of denial others try vehemently to throw over our faces.

Healing is possible. But in my humble opinion, only if one is willing to explore the soil of their inner child's mind.

This weekend, consider spending some time observing and understanding why you feel the way you do. Don’t judge, just ask the self, “How do you feel?”

Then sit and wait for the answer.