Sep 04, 2018

CPTSD is a Symptom

by Lisa A. Romano


CPTSD is a symptom that needs to be addressed, and learning to detach from the story that created the traumatic symptoms in the first place, can assist the healing process.

We forget we were powerless as children, and whenever a child's mind, brain, or psyche is overloaded to the degree that they are void of coping skills to handle the stress of any given situation, trauma is taking place. Trauma is trauma and--it is important to recognize that trauma is taking place whenever there is an overload of emotions, events, and ideas taking place that the child is unequipped to process.

Children are NOT equipped to handle emotional overwhelm which is why self-aware parents are so vital in the proper rearing of children. The more aware we are as parents, the more we can appreciate just how crucial our role is in preventing our children from becoming emotionally, cognitively, spiritually, socially, and psychologically overloaded.

While it is true that it is IMPOSSIBLE to prevent every stressful situation our children could ever experience, it is also true that stress can help facilitate change and growth. Being stressed out over a school exam can prompt a child to study and be proactive. But, that is not the type of stress I am talking about, and I am sure you all know that.

However, in many situations, children are living day in and day out with trauma that is being caused by the people who were supposed to respect, nurture, protect, and honor them.

The key idea is to remember that a child's stress levels should not remain on high alert. They should NOT have to walk around living in survival mode--this is NOT a state of growth--this is a state of arrest and when you have NO WAY of escaping an emotionally neglectful, abusive home--you are basting in trauma with no way of escaping. This leads to Complex PTSD. The child's mind must create defense mechanisms that allow them to sustain the abuse and neglect they know they have no way of escaping.

This ability, in my humble opinion, makes adult survivors--freaking superheroes!

We survived abusive homes without x-ray vision, ray guns, and flying capes. We were there on the frontlines--with no shields--and no weapons.

As healing abused adult children, it is ESSENTIAL we recognize that CPTSD is NOT us--and instead--it is a SYMPTOM of what happened to us. There were circumstances outside of our control that arrested our emotional development--and as grown-ass adults today--we have the RIGHT and the POWER to figure it all out--and find the road back to us--the real us--the us that has come to LIVE OUT LOUD!

May you feel less 'enmeshed' and 'attached' to any symptoms of CPTSD today, and perhaps even notice just how incredibly strong you really are....and it would not hurt to look up at the sky, take a deep breath, and declare to the universe, "I AM ENOUGH and today I am deciding to LOVE my symptoms until they fade away.

Lisa A. Romano was voted the #1 Most Influential Person of 2020 by Digital Journal and one of the top 10 Most Inspirational Women of 2021 according to Yahoo Finance. She is a Life Coach and Bestselling Author who specializes in Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. Her YouTube Channel has over 400K subscribers, and her 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program has helped thousands, including psychologists and even neuroscientists, release painful emotions from the past. Romano’s approach is seen as groundbreaking and highly effective for creating the inner transformations all human beings are capable of. To learn more about Lisa and her online programs, books, speaking events and support groups, visit