Codependents are wounded and suffer from abandonment
by Lisa A. Romano
Codependents are wounded and suffer from abandonment. We do not feel good enough and find ourselves tirelessly attending to the needs of others.
We do this to help us avoid our internal shame.
We do this in the hopes of gaining approval.
We do this to avoid feeling our own anxiety.
We do this to flee from our internal reality.
As children, we loved until it hurt only to discover no matter how deep we loved, it was not enough to gain the connections we needed.
Perhaps our parents were impossible to please.
Perhaps they were aloof.
Perhaps our parents were lost inside their own drama and trauma.
Perhaps our parents were immature.
Perhaps our parents were narcissistic.
Perhaps our parents were abusive.
Perhaps our parents were perfectionists.
Whatever the case, if you grew up feeling invisible chances are codependency has found its way into your thinking process and that is NOT your fault.
As we heal, Amy the amygdala learns to relax.
As we heal, the more logical parts of our brain come back online.
As we heal, we learn to be more objective about who we love, what we love, how we love, why we love, and when we love.
Recovery without the invocation of logic and reason is barely recovery after all.